Moral Dilemma

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I discovered that for me casual sex is 'wrong' - not immoral, not unethical, not socially incorrect. Wrong because apparently I am not wired to get pleasure from 'just sex' - apparently I need a lot of the other stuff that a relationship brings to the bed in order to be fully satisfied with sex.

Of course I didn't discover than until I tried it.... It took 4 relationships for me to screw up the courage to have 'just sex' with two strangers (not at the same time, perhaps this is a minor regret of mine...? At times yes....)

There is nothing inherently wrong with 'waiting' for the right person to come along. A lot of people who 'gave it away' to 'just anyone' often are a bit wistful that they didn't wait until the right person came along.

Perhaps its the grass is greener on the other side of the fence thing?

I sometimes wish I hadn't wasted the first 4 years of my 20's going down false roads and had been a slut of some measure and discovered my inner gay and got some practical sexual experiences while I was still able to put my ankles behind my neck :tongue:

The grass is definitely greener on the other side of the fence:biggrin:.

But, since I was lucky to have that first time with someone who cared about me and who I cared about I feel that the first time was 'more special'. That is important to me emotionally - so I'm usually rather grateful for how things worked out.

Ultimately the choice is yours, and I suspect that no matter which route you take there will be something to regret in the path you didn't take. On that part there is no 'win'.

[LateBloomer]

with or with out the moral stuff; important to keep it as a class act. Treat people a little better than they expect. Think things through and at a speed that you have time to be logical and confidant.

Lots of great posts in this this thread. Every single one is unique. But this one really stuck a chord with me.

A mutually respectful experience is the bottom line here, even if it's a one time anonymous hotel hook up.

I can remember a couple of my own experiences when I was out there just experimenting and having anonymous sex. One of them, after the "fun", we just sat around and TALKED. He was super smart and interesting.

Obviously a few others I couldn't wait to leave, but this is all about discovering who WE are and what rings our bell....so to speak...



Just take it slow and careful....and RESPECTFUL.

[Beau]

I wouldn't look for casual sex either, but definitely start dating. Just make it clear to the person you are dating that you're not looking to sleep with anyone on the first date. Get out and have some fun.

It really wouldn't hurt to get a vibrator as well. Start playing around down there on your own terms. It may be a great way to learn if you like the pleasure or not.

[livingproof]

All of these are awesome! I guess I really need to work out what's best for me!

[Ekwarph]

For me, moral isn't to have sex with the one you really love, but it's overall to be honest with one's partner. You only live once. That's my opinion and only my opinion.

[Samdabisa]

I will admit I experimented and what not in college and while you could say I lost my virginity back then, I lost my "emotional connection" virginity this year (and I am about to turn 30). This past march/april I had a friend with benefits who moved away and the sex was amazing because we had an emotional connection and I think it would of continued if he didn't move back if he wasn't done with school. We still chat and hope to see each other again one day.

[Kiid]

So basically, I'm 21 almost 22 and a virgin. I'm on the heavier side but would like to getting a feeling for what I like and don't. It's against my moral code to have "flings"...but at the same time I am trying to discovery myself and stuff. Should I just resign myself to not having sex until I'm in love, or "experiment". Granted I know these will just be opinions of course.

What you fell comfortable with. If you want to have sex... Just do it. My first time was a one nighter tho it was fun. Enjoy yourself a little. If you want to have a serious relationship then go for that but you gota find the right sorta people for that stuff. I find that's a much harder thing to do.

[livingproof]

I wouldn't look for casual sex either, but definitely start dating. Just make it clear to the person you are dating that you're not looking to sleep with anyone on the first date. Get out and have some fun.

It really wouldn't hurt to get a vibrator as well. Start playing around down there on your own terms. It may be a great way to learn if you like the pleasure or not.

I wish I could but I don't even know where to begin!!!!!!!!!!!

[MisterTinkles]

Yeah, I had those morals once.

ONCE.

And a lot of people still do. Its just SO difficult to find someone else who can appreciate that enough to want to get to know you.

I don't have intentional "flings". I mean I wont do anything with the guy unless I like him a lot.
But, like all pigs....er, I mean MEN......they disappear off the face of the planet, once they get their rocks off.

Well, that's my story and Im sticking to it.


Hope you have better luck than I did.

[Beaux]

Let me ask you something. Would you buy a pair of shoes with out trying them on....?