my-ex

[partisan]

........................... sorry.

[partisan]

Sorry had to delete, too personal. Stupid me.

[LONDONER]

From what you write, to be brutally honest, you don't sound very compatible and, if that is truly the case, to renew your relationship sounds like a big mistake. He sounds as if he needs you more than you need him.

As far as moving in with him, would that mean a long distance move for you or are you close by? What I'm getting at is that it it meant a long distance move, would that also mean your looking for a new job or is he offering to keep you. That in itself would be a bad move in every sense.

[LONDONER]

You might be well ahead of me in number of posts Partisan, but I'm very quick off the mark! LOL.

[partisan]

Yes you dont miss a beat! - no its still in kent, about 20min drive, he does say he’ll keep me, and i can be a man of leisure, though im adamant i do not want to be kept. If i did go, id be making myself busy in the pub, before when we were together, i never even went to his home (he shared) yes were really not compatible, though it was really good at the start, before he got really unreliable, but i think your right. I just do care about him, so i dont want to hurt him, oh im so confused

[LONDONER]

In thast case you'll have to take the bull by the horns and tell him the reasons why you don't think it will be a good idea.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hmm.

I missed the first post....

The problem with guys who want to 'keep' other guys is that a decent chunk of them have 'ulterior motives' to 'keep' a guy.

It gives them power over the other person.

My Second partner coaxed me to be a 'stay at home husband', which was all part of the plan to make me dependent on him to where he thought he could get away with anything with me and I would feel I had no other choice but to stay. I most likely did stay for the mental and emotional abuse, and definitely didn't leave when he started throwing things and punched holes through the door and the wall - all warning signs which had I been more independent would have lead to my leaving.

There was the Federal Judge who was about 30 years my senior who became so enamored with me he brought the title to his house in Hawaii to me willing to sign it over to me. The catch, well he was married, with kids and his plan was to have a little something sweet waiting him in Hawaii for his 'business trips'.

Now I'm not saying there are no loving, honest fellows who honestly desire to provide for and care for their partners needs. I just haven't met any.

I have heard other stories, and typically it is a gateway to abuse or its a way to 'buy' love... Neither case is healthy.

[Nick9]

Sigh, and next time you will tell us that there are no unicorns, won't you?
Partisan, no matter what problem you have, I hope you will be ok and happy with your decision.