05-29-2013, 08:05 AM
After reading Xela's post, I felt like I should write my own story as well about coming out, in hopes that we can help and support those who wants to come out. Of course, coming out is a process that is different for everyone. Everyone has different situations or back grounds, but it would be nice , no? A thread where people can learn how to deal with these problems, or perhaps to even share solutions or offer help?
This is my story:
So, if I have to go way back, I guess it would be when I was 9. Yep 9, it was pretty early,and even tho I didn't know what those feelings were, I grew up feeling different. When I turned12, and in just one night, my point of life was changed forever. I was just showering and I started to realized I had all these thoughts about one of my male teachers. So as I was daydreaming, I realized I was gay. It was just like that. It came out of nowhere and had hit me right in the freaking face. 'Shit. I'm gay.' I muttered as I showered. It was a horrific moment when you're 13, not knowing what life is truly about or anything, but I THOUGHT i had lost everything. No family, no kids.....no ordinary family anyways. I won't have a wife, and I wont die beside a woman, and I won't have all the things that I thought I would've have. I wasn't normal. I didn't fir in. I 'm abnormal! I'm gay! Just all those thoughts whirling around my 12 yearold mind, and I did what anyone would've done. I ignored it. I tried to hide it. I even tried to go after my best friend when I was 13(let's call her J, she plays a bigger part later). Luckily J didn't say yes so that was a lucky miss. So that was it, during those 5 years, I kept my feelings hidden....I knew I was gay, no doubt about it. I end up ...slaying dragons, looking at ....uhm...stuff
That was it for five years(other then that time I told my mom but she pretended it didn't happen...more on that later), just pretending to crush on girls and stuff. So when I turned 17 this year, I felt rather depressed. I wasn't as strong as other gay guys in here that was able to keep a secret like that for so long... I felt lonely....very very lonely. I felt like I was the only one, and that no one would ever fall in love with me or hell...even like me. So, around March or so, I told one of my high school teachers that I had look up to(...and maybe a little crush on). Of course, I just told him I was gay and that was it, and he told me this.
'Kenneth, looks like you got some tough choices to make, but realize no matter what you do will never please EVERYbody....make the choices matter to you.'
So slowly, I came out to my best friend J...and after her acceptance, it made comming out to my other friends much easier.....soon after comming out, I signed up on gayspeak looking for friends, and I have found them. Ardus..Kuma...Pauluk....Chase...Vile..DJ...Dvdbrown..goodie....jr. .... almost everyone has been tremendously supportive of me.
I became confident...too confident that I told my sisters. My sisters cried all night....I expected them to be slightly more accepting considering they were 27 and 29....but anyways, they called my mom. My mom had to talk to me the next day....and this is when I realized my whole family was in denial, and to be truthful about it, I couldn't blame them. I mean their son or brother is gay! It would've been a shock to everyone....and all of this happened 3 weeks ago....so Yeah...that's my story.
This is my story:
So, if I have to go way back, I guess it would be when I was 9. Yep 9, it was pretty early,and even tho I didn't know what those feelings were, I grew up feeling different. When I turned12, and in just one night, my point of life was changed forever. I was just showering and I started to realized I had all these thoughts about one of my male teachers. So as I was daydreaming, I realized I was gay. It was just like that. It came out of nowhere and had hit me right in the freaking face. 'Shit. I'm gay.' I muttered as I showered. It was a horrific moment when you're 13, not knowing what life is truly about or anything, but I THOUGHT i had lost everything. No family, no kids.....no ordinary family anyways. I won't have a wife, and I wont die beside a woman, and I won't have all the things that I thought I would've have. I wasn't normal. I didn't fir in. I 'm abnormal! I'm gay! Just all those thoughts whirling around my 12 yearold mind, and I did what anyone would've done. I ignored it. I tried to hide it. I even tried to go after my best friend when I was 13(let's call her J, she plays a bigger part later). Luckily J didn't say yes so that was a lucky miss. So that was it, during those 5 years, I kept my feelings hidden....I knew I was gay, no doubt about it. I end up ...slaying dragons, looking at ....uhm...stuff
That was it for five years(other then that time I told my mom but she pretended it didn't happen...more on that later), just pretending to crush on girls and stuff. So when I turned 17 this year, I felt rather depressed. I wasn't as strong as other gay guys in here that was able to keep a secret like that for so long... I felt lonely....very very lonely. I felt like I was the only one, and that no one would ever fall in love with me or hell...even like me. So, around March or so, I told one of my high school teachers that I had look up to(...and maybe a little crush on). Of course, I just told him I was gay and that was it, and he told me this.
'Kenneth, looks like you got some tough choices to make, but realize no matter what you do will never please EVERYbody....make the choices matter to you.'
So slowly, I came out to my best friend J...and after her acceptance, it made comming out to my other friends much easier.....soon after comming out, I signed up on gayspeak looking for friends, and I have found them. Ardus..Kuma...Pauluk....Chase...Vile..DJ...Dvdbrown..goodie....jr. .... almost everyone has been tremendously supportive of me.
I became confident...too confident that I told my sisters. My sisters cried all night....I expected them to be slightly more accepting considering they were 27 and 29....but anyways, they called my mom. My mom had to talk to me the next day....and this is when I realized my whole family was in denial, and to be truthful about it, I couldn't blame them. I mean their son or brother is gay! It would've been a shock to everyone....and all of this happened 3 weeks ago....so Yeah...that's my story.