The stories of comming out.

[Kenny221]

After reading Xela's post, I felt like I should write my own story as well about coming out, in hopes that we can help and support those who wants to come out. Of course, coming out is a process that is different for everyone. Everyone has different situations or back grounds, but it would be nice , no? A thread where people can learn how to deal with these problems, or perhaps to even share solutions or offer help?

This is my story:
So, if I have to go way back, I guess it would be when I was 9. Yep 9, it was pretty early,and even tho I didn't know what those feelings were, I grew up feeling different. When I turned12, and in just one night, my point of life was changed forever. I was just showering and I started to realized I had all these thoughts about one of my male teachers. So as I was daydreaming, I realized I was gay. It was just like that. It came out of nowhere and had hit me right in the freaking face. 'Shit. I'm gay.' I muttered as I showered. It was a horrific moment when you're 13, not knowing what life is truly about or anything, but I THOUGHT i had lost everything. No family, no kids.....no ordinary family anyways. I won't have a wife, and I wont die beside a woman, and I won't have all the things that I thought I would've have. I wasn't normal. I didn't fir in. I 'm abnormal! I'm gay! Just all those thoughts whirling around my 12 yearold mind, and I did what anyone would've done. I ignored it. I tried to hide it. I even tried to go after my best friend when I was 13(let's call her J, she plays a bigger part later). Luckily J didn't say yes so that was a lucky miss. So that was it, during those 5 years, I kept my feelings hidden....I knew I was gay, no doubt about it. I end up ...slaying dragons, looking at ....uhm...stuff

That was it for five years(other then that time I told my mom but she pretended it didn't happen...more on that later), just pretending to crush on girls and stuff. So when I turned 17 this year, I felt rather depressed. I wasn't as strong as other gay guys in here that was able to keep a secret like that for so long... I felt lonely....very very lonely. I felt like I was the only one, and that no one would ever fall in love with me or hell...even like me. So, around March or so, I told one of my high school teachers that I had look up to(...and maybe a little crush on). Of course, I just told him I was gay and that was it, and he told me this.

'Kenneth, looks like you got some tough choices to make, but realize no matter what you do will never please EVERYbody....make the choices matter to you.'

So slowly, I came out to my best friend J...and after her acceptance, it made comming out to my other friends much easier.....soon after comming out, I signed up on gayspeak looking for friends, and I have found them. Ardus..Kuma...Pauluk....Chase...Vile..DJ...Dvdbrown..goodie....jr. .... almost everyone has been tremendously supportive of me.

I became confident...too confident that I told my sisters. My sisters cried all night....I expected them to be slightly more accepting considering they were 27 and 29....but anyways, they called my mom. My mom had to talk to me the next day....and this is when I realized my whole family was in denial, and to be truthful about it, I couldn't blame them. I mean their son or brother is gay! It would've been a shock to everyone....and all of this happened 3 weeks ago....so Yeah...that's my story.

[thisLIFE]

Hey try not to get so down on how your family feels about it. They've known you since you were a baby, it's going to be a shock. I told my family last year and they are starting to come around now, it just takes time. And they're harrrdddd coorrrreeee religious.

My story though...
Mormon. Haha its a word that means almost as much as gay to me. Super strict church, borderline cult, caring people though just have a different perspective on life. But growing up meant fighting between being Mormon which my WHOLE FAMILY is, I mean second cousins and all, and liking guys.

The two clearly could not co-exsist. It didnt help that one of my biggest crushes was on another mormon kid, who i think might be gay too lol. They all have to be cute for some reason...

Anyways I never fancied girls, like at all, so when all the guys i liked talked about them i kind of got thrown in a rut. I lied about a couple likes, and hurt a couple girls in highschool. One more after highschool I feel really bad about, actually made my girlfriend, safe to say didnt last long.

Wish i could take it back...

But then i moved out with this guy i was really close to. i never really accepted my feelings for him, cause it meant accepting im gay. He was always there and deep down i knew why i always wanted to be around him, but it was a big step in accepting it.

One night after our relationship got a little strained, i started realizing how much it hurt to have him so close yet somehow miss him. That was my moment of EF IT IM GAY... o yeah and some dramatic tears just for good show.

My roommate took it surprisingly really well, but i tried forcing a relationship on him after my "enlightenment". We dont even talk now, but it is what it is i guess. If it wasn't for him id still be buried in my own closet.

After that enlightenment though i got thrown into a certain high, telling someone that i was gay just lit me up for some reason, i dont know if i ever smiled so much...

I told too many people i think.

But I wish i had someone to come out with. I honestly thought that my roommate was gunna be that guy, but instead it backfired. He was part of the close group of friends i told, so not only did i see him all the time even after moving out, but i couldnt even talk about what happened with him.

It kind of threw me back into the closet. Because i just opened up to my friends, who were all accepting of it. But something was obviously wrong with me (i was pretty depressed from what happened with my roommate). Yet i could not talk to them about it... which hurt to come out and let something off my chest just to just bottle something else back into it.

I guess the moral of the story is coming out is a great thing =)
just make sure to take is slowly, and it doesnt help to be with someone at the time.


On an unrelated note. I was an even bigger dick to the guys i liked =/
I couldnt cope talking to them without flirting and being nice so i either blew them off or was just a big A-Hole to them. Out gay guys especially... i guess i was jealous of them in a way. I wish i could take back every word i said, and make it up to those guys if at all possible. I am so sorry.

Just dont take it so roughly if guys dont treat you the nicest though, you dont know whats racing through their minds... they might like you =)

[Kiid]

I think parents should already know or have some idea of their childs sexuality. I'm not all that camp. I may have a bit of a gay tone in my voice or move around a bit gay some times but the majority of people don't expect me to be gay. Tho my mum had known that I was gay since I was a little boy. like 2year old little boy. She said I was a lot more 'gentle' than my other brothers.

Tho I did come out at school way before I came out to mum... I had joined this site before I came out to her. and she told my brothers cos I said she could. And every now and again we make random gay jokes. It's a pretty sweet life being me I must say.

[VNight2014]

My story though...
Mormon. Haha its a word that means almost as much as gay to me. Super strict church, borderline cult, caring people though just have a different perspective on life. But growing up meant fighting between being Mormon which my WHOLE FAMILY is, I mean second cousins and all, and liking guys.

I'm not the only Mormon gay... I feel like crying and yelling... I don't feel alone anymore

[EvenOlderButWiser]

I think parents should already know or have some idea of their childs sexuality.

Maybe someone could come up with a DNA test, then the parents can choose whether they want an LGBT child or not?

How sad would that be

ObW
X

[EvenOlderButWiser]

my mum had known that I was gay since I was a little boy. like 2year old little boy

Im sorry, but I think thats a ridiculous statement to make.

There is no way a 2 year old child can be stereotyped as being gay at that age. There is plenty of research available that indicates children are asexual (if thats the right word - or maybe its androgynous?) and really only start to become gender aware when they begin interacting with other children at the kindergarden stage, and only then when they start to become aware of the boy/girl status within their peer group.

If your mum knew you were gay at 2, its only because she wanted a gay son and subliminally imprinted the idea of being gay onto you.

Maybe your a straight kiid trapped in a gay stereotype ;-)

ObW
X

[dfiant]

Im sorry, but I think thats a ridiculous statement to make.

There is no way a 2 year old child can be stereotyped as being gay at that age. There is plenty of research available that indicates children are asexual (if thats the right word - or maybe its androgynous?) and really only start to become gender aware when they begin interacting with other children at the kindergarden stage, and only then when they start to become aware of the boy/girl status within their peer group.

If your mum knew you were gay at 2, its only because she wanted a gay son and subliminally imprinted the idea of being gay onto you.

Maybe your a straight kiid trapped in a gay stereotype ;-)

ObW
X

I'm going to come to Kiid's defense here.

Your thinking is a throw back. If Josh says his mum knew since he was 2 years old, then that is that, you have no right to contest that in such an aggressive manner as you have here. I only find the 'ridiculous' to be in what you have said as you have just spent the 10 minutes to type your message RIDICULING Josh and I take offense to your behaviour.

I'm just saying

[Kiid]

Maybe someone could come up with a DNA test, then the parents can choose whether they want an LGBT child or not?

How sad would that be

ObW
X

That'd be poos. I don't think anyone but the soul coming into this world should get to choose their sexuality!

[dfiant]

The first time I came out I was 12 years old way back in 1981 when Electrotherapy was still a prefered therapy to cure homosexuality in Australia.

I had just ended what was to be my first relationship with a boy named Mark and I was devestated that he never wanted to talk to me again after months of spending every weekend together. I told my Mum I loved him and she replied 'It's just a phase you are going through, if it continues we will get you some help.'

That is when I learnt to keep my mouth shut.

Until 2000 when I was 31 years old and came out for the second time and that confession was met with 'I know, I have always known. I knew your were gay since Mark.' - I was upset.

The second coming out was met with fear after years of being exposed to hate and bigotry, laughter in the school ground about 'Poofter bashing' like it was the new national sport, but it turned out to be a great experience and has allowed to me live my life on my terms and not on fears terms, for the last 13 years.

[Kiid]

Im sorry, but I think thats a ridiculous statement to make.

There is no way a 2 year old child can be stereotyped as being gay at that age. There is plenty of research available that indicates children are asexual (if thats the right word - or maybe its androgynous?) and really only start to become gender aware when they begin interacting with other children at the kindergarden stage, and only then when they start to become aware of the boy/girl status within their peer group.

If your mum knew you were gay at 2, its only because she wanted a gay son and subliminally imprinted the idea of being gay onto you.

Maybe your a straight kiid trapped in a gay stereotype ;-)

ObW
X

There was no stereotyping there just mothers instant something that you'll never know about. I wasn't sexul when I was two I was just different hun. I was a lot more gentler than my brothers as I did state. I knew about boys and girls when I was 0 -.- She didn't want a gay son she was blessed with one mother.

...... Maybe I'm a straight trapped in a gay stereotype.... Well you got me there bravo.

Thanks for that Older But Dumber u.u

Also I think I've known I was different since I was very young. I'd got to my friends houses and they had fairy wings and I'd pit them on and have an amazing time. I was born gay and will probably remain gay for the rest of my life.
My mother is wise OBY she is a mother. You are not.