Hi.
This is quite a complex one so bear with me. A few years ago, I started to feel looking at pornographic pics of women was getting a little samey and wanted to feel the excitement I used to feel again.
One day I stumbled across a picture of a guy and initially skipped by it only to go back because it was 'different'.
Right, I have to stress that at that point, it didn't do anything for me but I ploughed on with it, even flicking between the pics of women and men to stay aroused. I carried on with this, because it was 'weird' (for want of a better word) and I wanted to see quite how far I could push it as a sort of experiment, trying to make men arouse me.
I looked at trans women as a kind of 'stepping stone' too, a kind of half-way thing for obvious reasons.
Basically to cut a long story short, I've got to a stage where I am easily aroused by men, I want to look at gay porn more than straight porn etc. This definitely wasn't the case before and I really do feel like I've almost 'learned' to be turned on by it.
I know this all sounds quite strange!
The thing is, I've pushed it so far now that I can't turn back, I've tried looking at women again and I just scroll through the galleries, not really interested in anything and then go back to pics of guys. I don't actually think I want to go back to be honest.
I can appreciate it's an unusual situation as the general consensus is that you are born bi/gay, but I really feel strongly that doesn't apply to me, I know how I felt before.
Just wanted to share and ask for your thoughts really.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Wow, I've never actually heard of someone doing that before. I've tried looking at photos of women, and they just never ever did it for me ... (except for that one time with I thought this women was a man...yes you can laugh). Perhaps you were bisexual with a preference, or pansexual!
What's weird though, is that I sometimes read posts from blog run by a well known open bi-sexual man, and that's not how he described his sexuality at all. I guess you discovered yourself in a very unusual way!
•
One of my friends went fully gay for a similar reason...
•
I know a guy who said he tried to turn bi and it didn't work. It wasn't he was uptight, he grew up with gay friends (he was one of those who stood up to bullies and made some that way), and he even had sex, it just wasn't working for him and he couldn't get the desire (he said worse, one guy even started stalking him). His reasoning was that bi men had the best of both worlds and a lot more opportunity for hooking up for fun as well as relationships, so he really wanted to be bi. It didn't work and so he gave up on it.
He told me that when he explained why he didn't believe orientation was a choice.
•
ch86uk Wrote:Hi.
This is quite a complex one so bear with me. A few years ago, I started to feel looking at pornographic pics of women was getting a little samey and wanted to feel the excitement I used to feel again.
One day I stumbled across a picture of a guy and initially skipped by it only to go back because it was 'different'.
Right, I have to stress that at that point, it didn't do anything for me but I ploughed on with it, even flicking between the pics of women and men to stay aroused. I carried on with this, because it was 'weird' (for want of a better word) and I wanted to see quite how far I could push it as a sort of experiment, trying to make men arouse me.
I looked at trans women as a kind of 'stepping stone' too, a kind of half-way thing for obvious reasons.
Basically to cut a long story short, I've got to a stage where I am easily aroused by men, I want to look at gay porn more than straight porn etc. This definitely wasn't the case before and I really do feel like I've almost 'learned' to be turned on by it.
I know this all sounds quite strange!
The thing is, I've pushed it so far now that I can't turn back, I've tried looking at women again and I just scroll through the galleries, not really interested in anything and then go back to pics of guys. I don't actually think I want to go back to be honest.
I can appreciate it's an unusual situation as the general consensus is that you are born bi/gay, but I really feel strongly that doesn't apply to me, I know how I felt before.
Just wanted to share and ask for your thoughts really. The prevailing theory here is sexual fluidity, so it's likely you had a predisposition to being bi and never acknowledged it. Now it seems you're trying to recant the label, which wasn't necessary to apply in the first place.
•
Perhaps its just your personal taboo of men thats turning you on? Like you're being "naughty", you know?
•
If you really want to determine whether or not your experiment worked, why not reverse it and see if your sexual attraction to women resurfaces?
•
Fair enough, i dont think all gay men were born gay, some men are just animals and like to put there dick in something moist. Not saying thats you! lol, actually i appreciate your honesty. Its funny but when i was realising i was gay, there was nothing sexual about it, it was more emotional, the idea of someone putting there taaang inside me, didnt feel me with joy, not the physical aspect anyway, though that has changed, , and when it comes to foreplay, if your not any good its bye
•
Either you were already bi and 'hung up' on cultural taboos and had to coax yourself into self acceptance of this state of being....
OR
...You have bored yourself to tears with hetero sex practices that you have to go looking for wilder and wilder stuff in order to attain that excitement level you once achieved with 'regular' sex.
I suspect this later may be more true of you since its porn/sex that you have focused on.
Unfortunately, the later is far more true of people in this 21st century with the large availability of porn. Appearantly people are needing 'wilder' and 'more exotic' stuff in order to get off because they have overused stimuli to the point where the milder stuff just doesn't get them as excited.
While the word is Homosexual, there is no emphasis on the sex part. Meaning it is not homoSEXual.
Yes I know, society defines 'homosexual' based on who one has sex with, however there is more to being a homosexual than that. There is love, commitment, attraction (beyond sexual attraction) and other things at play.
There are more emotions at play when it comes to our sexual orientation than just that sexual excitement and momentary pleasure.
A gay man (homosexual) is not just interested in other men for a shag - he is looking to pair off with a mate, to have pretty much a 'marriage' sort of situation with a guy. That is what really defines him as a homosexual. A straight man is not just interested in women for just a shag, he is looking for a 'marriage' type situation with a woman.
A bisexual is not just interested in shagging either/and/or both genders, s/he can and often is looking for that sort of marriage type situation and can find it with either/and/or both genders.
So beyond porn and sex, do you feel a deeper connection or possible deeper connection with a guy? Can you see yourself setting up house with a guy, partaking of a life of sharing and commitment with a guy? Having a real relationship, not just a bit of sex? If yes, then chances are you are bisexual.
If no, then you most likely have overused your fantasy card and are having to to turn to what is for you 'wilder' sex acts in order to get that excitement/satisfaction that just women used to give you.
•
Bowyn Aerrow - I think you might have hit the nail on the head.
It IS about the sex and no, I can't see myself spending my life with a man. The thing is, I don't want to stop having sex with guys, I find it far better than sex with women.
That's a real problem isn't it...
Thanks for everyone's replies
•
|
