Okay, here's my issue.
I consider myself "vers", and I'm dating someone else who thinks the same. He perfected the art of bottoming quickly, and the one time I tried (I was 18, no condom, lots of vaseline, and yes, we went slowly), it caused an intense sharp pain at one point, and we called it off.
I'm 24 now, and since then I've tried, on occasion, to take a few toys on my own, with limited success. I can manage a 4.5" plug (girth at thickest point) okay, and I'm working on a 5.5" girth plug, which I haven't been able to get in yet. I figure my partner is about this size. I've been using either "Maximus" (water based) or "Wet Platinum" (silicone based), and have been using all the techniques many sites recommend. I've even thought about poppers - bought one, never tried it during 'insertion' yet.
So what should I do? It sounds as if a 5.5" girth should be manageable for most people, and I'm not a small guy (5'11", 180 lbs). Is it a matter of just gritting my teeth and taking the pain for once, and it gets easier after that? I want to bottom, but it's getting frustrating. Help!
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Practice makes perfect...
Dont be expecting to be able to jump straight into some dirty, rough play either.
For the first few times your just going to have to grit your teeth and take it like a man, I'd say it took me about 6 or 8 times to finally get "comfortable" with it but it then took a few more months before I was able to do what i really wanted.
So dont put too much pressure on yourself, take it slow and the use of poppers greatly eases the whole process while making it a hell of a lot better, while some on here will tell you not use them for some stupid reason give it a go for yourself and see how it works for you.
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I'm glad to know that just bearing the discomfort/pain can get you there... probably because it's something I think I can do!
It would be really nice to know that no matter the pain, I'm not going to actually seriously INJURE myself.
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Pain is your body's way of saying 'Stop, don't do that or you will damage me.'
There is no way to condition your body, especially the anus, with health repercussions somewhere down the line. Is letting someone squirt semem in your bum worth the health risks?
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My point is, it seems like a majority of gay men experience pain the first time they bottom, and most of those men are later able to bottom without pain or health repercussions. It seems to be part of the experience. How much pain? It's impossible to say; everyone has different pain thresholds, and describes the pain differently, so there is no scale with which to measure this.
If pain were a no-no all the time, I think there would be VERY few bottoms out there. Yet, there seem to be more bottoms than tops.
No offense, but your answer doesn't make sense to me.
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Makes sense to me. Pain is generally an indicator that something shouldn't be done..
If you touch a hot burner, and it hurts.. do you pull away and stop touching it.. or do you put your hand back on the burner?
Basic logic really..
That said.. people obviously get accustom to it and enjoy it. I myself wouldn't know (29 year old virgin, lame indeed!)..
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A good lubricant and relaxation, that's all you need.
Some guys use poppers to relax the anus and facilitate penetration but it's always risky.
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I know what you mean. It always seems to be painful for me, gotta say my bf puts way too much pressure in one go. Despite screaming not to thrust, he just can't seem to get the idea.
Relax and lube in the ass. Lube on the cock seems to help a lot, all the way down to the base.
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dfiant Wrote:Pain is your body's way of saying 'Stop, don't do that or you will damage me.'
There is no way to condition your body, especially the anus, with health repercussions somewhere down the line. Is letting someone squirt semem in your bum worth the health risks?
You old romantic you.
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"warm it up" each and every time.
Foreplay is the key, really. That and lots of lube.
Start with a finger until it's comfortable. Then two. The muscle will relax naturally. Depending on the girth of your top, you may want to go to the second knuckle of three fingers.
Poppers CAN help, and if you use them, be careful of nostril burns. A bit of Vaseline around the nostrils can help avoid burns.
Experiment with position...some people find it easier lying on their side....some lying on their back. But make sure to RELAX.
Eventually it all just becomes such a natural, comfortable thing, but it takes time.
There are also inflatable trainers that you can pick up online at pretty low prices (I've seen them for as low as $12.00). They are about the size of a thumb at first, and the technique is to insert them, pump them up a little, and push them out in their inflated state.
Do this over and over, eventually pumping them up a little more, and a little more.
You want to train yourself slowly so that you don't get fissures, hemorrhoids, or scar tissue.
Always wash your training aids thoroughly with anti-bacterial soap between uses.
Hope this helps....play safe!
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