can't get over him

[bodyhunk123]

Hiii there .... so i met this guy... at first it wasn't really my type ... but with time I’ve fallen for him ....... he was cute, charming, tender, smart ...etc .. we were together for 3 months before I started to discover he was kind of manipulative and wanted to take advantage of me - financially - ..
so i decided to end up the relationship ... thinking that the breakup would be easy, like all my past relationships …
but hell no, it wasn’t, it's been 4 months now, and i can barely get over him .. i think about him every day, I’m really in a depressed mood, even friends noticed that.
Plz wanna know, Is this normal that that the grieving process takes all this time, I’m just lost .

[megumidesu]

Plz wanna know, Is this normal that that the grieving process takes all this time, I’m just lost .

definitely normal

try to focus on the good things about not being together . like the fact that you're not being screwed over and manipulated by him , and the fact that you got out before he'd completely destroyed you ...

it might help to see a therapist , too ...

[bodyhunk123]

Thanks, i think i'm on the road of healing my wounds, i just need some more time ...

[Counselor]

Giving yourself time is crucial. Give yourself enough time to become okay with who you are on your own.

[MisterTinkles]

Everybody has to deal with these kinds of things the best way they know how.

Sometimes it takes a short time, sometimes it takes a long time.

Its good you realize it though, that's the first big step in starting to get over someone like that.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Normal... I hate that word, it implies there is a single, narrow way that a person must do something.

You are falling well within nominal parameters, there is a wide range of how humans and other hominids express greif and how long they process through it.

There is no time limit.

I 'grieved' for my first love for year and years and years. After each failed relationship after I didn't grieve for the partner who I just ended it with, I grieved for my first. The could of beens were the worst part.

Give it a year after - a year is typically the time it takes for most people to really be over a person. If you're not over him by then, might I suggest a therapist to explore why you can't get over him?

[bodyhunk123]

Wawww ... a year ... it's really a lifetime ... i've been in relationships before, it was me the heartbreaker (not proud of it though) ... but this time i don't even know what happened and how it happened, i'm drawn in a spirale of anger, sadness and resentment ... don't even understand what is it with that guy that's making my life tirned upside down

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Pfft - a year - goes by quickly in hind sight...

A year off of dating, a year of focusing on selfishness and being all about finding what you are about always does a body good.

Besides, I bet there are several lessons in all of this you still can tease out.... Important lessons no doubt.

You will be OK... Give your heart time to seriously heal.

[Dan1980]

I know everyone says this but time is a great healer.

[dfiant]

I find it fascinating that people get so clingy or obsessed in 3 short months.

yeah, time for therapy.