How Come I Don't Enjoy Anal Sex or Being Penetrated?

[BetterChiter]

I know this sounds weird and the obvious answer would be "duh, because you're not a bottom!" Well, to be truthful I'm really new to the gay scene as far as dating and making new friends I can be open with. I know what I like or at least seems pleasurable in my mind, but every time I experience it with a guy I only find discomfort if not pain in it. I'll watch porn, and think " man, it would be so hot to have a guy take me and penetrate me like that!" but in reality I find the least bit of pleasure when it actually happens. I've asked a friend/acquaintance who enjoys it a lot, and truthfully I feel a bit envious. He jokingly tells me I just haven't met the right person to do it with yet. I can't say that I'm promiscuous and sleep with anybody I can find, but I've been active for about a year with 3 different guys. None of these guys have pleasured me anally to the point of orgasm. I usually climaxed while being the top or mutually performing oral sex. I frequently masturbate to the thoughts of having it and really have this intense desire to enjoy anal sex, but somehow can't seem to physically make it happen.....any advice?

[megumidesu]

anal sex isn't a requirement of being gay / bi ~
not everyone enjoys it

[TimeSage]

Not everyone enjoys it. It's probably just not for you. Or you're doing it wrong <.<

[Mattlj92]

It's not for everyone.

[LateBloomer]

None of these guys have pleasured me anally to the point of orgasm. I usually climaxed while being the top or mutually performing oral sex. I frequently masturbate to the thoughts of having it and really have this intense desire to enjoy anal sex, but somehow can't seem to physically make it happen.....any advice?

Practice makes perfect.

But I'd say it's a very rare guy who can climax by penetration alone. Most of us need our penises stimulated directly--either by topping or masturbation.

So I wouldn't use that to evaluate how pleasurable it should/could be.

People derive pleasure from sex for as many different reasons as there are people. You need to find what "trips your trigger". It won't be same as any of us.

And save this for the future: Once you find what trips YOUR trigger, you can go out and find an exclusive relationship and learn what really "blows his hair back".

It's that intimacy--knowing what your partner needs--that makes sex really hot in a committed relationship. I hope you find it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

A few years ago there was a poll taken about the preferred sex position/action of gays. Apparently oral sex is the top with 69 being the most preferred oral position.

Lets face some physical realities here:
1. The anus is not designed to have things go in it, it is designed to have thing leave it.
2. The anus is rather small in diameter, and small in depth (it makes a severe right angle at the lower colon).
3. The Anus does not produce natural lubricants like say the vagina.

All three of these mean that having a sausage stuffed up your arse is going to be at best uncomfortable at worst burning screaming painful.

Now you can get it to relax and open yourself up with fingering, you can overcome the depth issue by slowly moving the colon around a bit (thus a guy can take a fist and a forearm up to nearly the elbow - while the depth of the anus is around 6 inches, with a little gentle shifting one can slide 12-14 inches of 'something' up there.) We even have all of these wonderful lubricants that can be used too.

Slow, gentle pressures, and teasing the guy until his pleasure centers send more signals than the pain centers. This usually works to overcome the physical limitations.

I would assume your experiences to date have been few. Perhaps not with a 'good top' or a top who knows how to go about making an anal 'virgin' more comfortable.

As for climaxing from just anal activities, this is a rareish thing. It requires a good deal of prostate massage and the bottom has to be really in the right frame of mind. Most bottoms resort to a hand, or the top does a 'reach around'... Those who do get off in this manner have a learning curve of several to many sessions to discover which pressures where and when do the trick....

Practice makes perfect...

[d3n]

Mmh, I think sexuality can develop with time. When I was younger I was, like you, having fantasies of getting penetrated and stuff. But when the real thing came it was one of the most uncomfortable things ever xD. So yeah, basically I didn't like doing it either. After a year(?) when I tried it again, it was really amazing.
So according to my experience what you need is some time for your sexuality to mature, but then again I might just be weird and special xD. Also as others said, there are people who simply don't like it

[MisterTinkles]

Im a "top" and Ive tried "taking it" a couple of times, because the guy asked nicely.

I didn't like it at all.

But of course, if Hugh Jackman were the case, then I'd definitely want him banging away on me.

Oh damn.....I need a cold shower now!!!!

[VileKyle]

My boyfriend told me he doesn't like it either, top or bottom. There's nothing wrong with that. You just don't like it. Find something you do enjoy instead and do that. There's plenty of options for intimacy.

[BetterChiter]

You said your boyfriend doesnt like being either a top or a bottom. That pretty much eliminates sex from the relationship, doesnt it? Not to be too personal but just curious, is there anything else physical....kissing or petting..ora sexl?