Known issues - still confused

[dolingsail]

Well, I fell for/got a crush for a guy who wasn't interested in being involved intimately/romantically with me (and finally I came to realize that for ever reason that may be, I cannot take the blame on me cause I did the max as for showing him I care for him and that he is important to me). Thing is he did showed interest in being my friend. But I felt like that situation is blowing my energy away, because all I wanted is to be around him, kiss him and hug him and he knew it obviously. I felt so down emotionally and let him know that we have to take a time off, which he understood. It's been a month since we last saw each other, and I wouldn't be asking this question unless I felt lonely, at least I guess. But is feeling lonely should provide the reason for me to contact him and befriend with him ? I'm honest enough to admit that he is still in my mind and I still have fantasies about sleeping cuddled with him, as we did for more than a couple of times, I miss his smile, his presence.
I don't know what's worse, feeling and being lonely or being around someone who didn't reciprocate my affection for him, which no need for further explanation, deeply hurt me. But I'm still sad I've let him go.