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Is being gay "normal"? What defines "normal"?
#21
i wouldn't take being called not normal a bad thing. my life has never been normal, i have always lived and done things different to other people. being called not normal wouldn't brother me, as i call myself quarky.
but i do understand how some people get offended and they have the right to be. because to some people being called "not normal" is an insult.
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#22
I see both sides of this argument. My take is this: Words have power. Whether we like it or not, many words have two meanings, a "denotative" meaning and a "connotative" meaning.

Denotative meanings are the true definitions of words, the same definitions that are generally found in the dictionary.

Connotative meanings are secondary meanings, usually societal "interpretations" of a particular word.

Although you have the right to respond angrily and defensively to responses like "being called a self-loathing gay who needs to off himself"(I know I would!), it also is important to understand why the use of a particular word can offend some people. That's not necessarily just "PC", it is also common sense if you are trying to communicate a point.

EXAMPLE: skinny, scrawny, svelte, skeletal- are all words that have a similar "denotative" meaning- "thin". However, using all of those words interchangeably to describe a person would result in entirely different reactions! 1. "My, you look svelte in that outfit!" 2. "My, you look skinny in that outfit!" 3. "My, you look scrawny in that outfit!" 4. "My, you look skeletal in that outfit!"

On chat boards in particular, it is easy to be misunderstood. People may not know you very well. They may not recognize your style of speaking/writing. They will have no non-verbal cues ( a HUGE loss to human communication by the way). And finally, the strength of their "connotative" definition (read emotional response) might be COMPLETELY out of line with your own.

So, if you are misunderstood in a given post, well, sure you can tell everyone to go fuck themselves if you want. The anonymity of the internet affords everyone the luxury of responding in ways which they might not respond in a "normal" (LOL) setting. But you also might want to take a minute to step back and try to understand why you are not being heard the way that you wanted to be heard. (I think that you have done that here)

I don't think that that is being "politically correct", I think that that is a common sense approach to trying to be understood and sharing your thoughts. After all, isn't communicating with each other why we are all here? (I mean that phrase in both a straight forward sense and an altruistic, philosophical sense as well! Smile )
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#23
I think it depends on who you are. In my opinion, normal is defined by what YOU find normal... if that makes sense.

But in a general sense, I would agree that being gay isn't really "normal" on a massive scale, because obviously we are still a minority, so while WE may all find it normal (and I think even some gay people struggle with seeing it that way), the masses - even the gay-friendly - will probably still see it as a little unusual. But I don't think it's inappropriate, I think it's natural. Heck, I find being straight a little weird. Like, I don't see that as normal because being attracted to men is what I've always been used to.

As for it being unacceptable, I think your hair (which looks great by the way) is a good example. Finding it strange because of it's colour is perfectly acceptable I would think, as it's just an opinion formed because a person may not have seen someone with that colour before, and it has no serious negative connotations, just a sense of unfamiliarity. It's only when a person feels the need to insult you because of it that it becomes inappropriate... but that's a whole different problem then :/
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#24
I hate the word 'normal'. It brings to mind a narrow standard by which all shall be measured by.

While LGBT falls well within the nominal parameters of human experience, LGBT are not 'normal' do not conform to the majority and 'acceptable' traditional life style which is heterosexual.

So I hear what you said, and accept it as a truth. We are not normal.

But we are human and are well within the nominal parameters of human experience.

About the only thing 'normal' about humans is that humanity comes in Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

Live Long and Prosper
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#25
You werent wrong and you didnt say anything wrong.

Apparently you were talking to a bunch of "self loathers" themselves.
Because this is exactly what they say and do when faced with ANY level of reality.

Believe me, I have been around MORE than my share of these dipshits.

As my momma used to say "they think they are hot shit, but aint nothing but cold turds".

These kinds of people have EXTREMELY high self hate factors. They have to pretend and "act" like "good gays" are expected to act. And they are usually the most hateful fags around. They contradict everybody that says anything to them, they presume to have HIGH opinions of themselves, and they gossip and malign anyone and everyone they know....behind your back of course.

They are petty, predictable, and pieces of crap. ANY kind of reality or actual human decency scares the shit out of them, simply because they are so paranoid about being "found out" for being nothing but a user and abuser of the term "gay".


And I consider the word "normal" to be worse than any other word you can call someone.
Im just sayin....
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#26
Self-loathing gay! Arent they intellectual! lol

Its not normal, you said a basic simple truth

What is normal? Majority? We have no definition what normal is, if im ever normal though, shoot me.

Love, peace and mustard sauce.
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#27
Saying gay sex isn't the "Norm" implies abnormality - that's what others were jumping on I think. With the amazing diversity life exhibits IMHO - Being gay IS absolutely within the normal range of human functioning for a portion of the population, including me - a "Perfect Kinsey 6".
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#28
Krupt Wrote:I Agree 100% with what you have said, but this little bit I think differently on.

If someone has a differing view point or simply interprets what you have said a different way (No right or wrong), then that is an opportunity for a discussion...you know, like what civilised human beings do?

You can't run around suggesting people 'off themself' because you misinterpretted something, and often the misinterpretation is deliberate so that a conflict can arise, some people get off on conflict.

Absolutely!
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#29
I just remembered how Voltaire did a good history of the word goth in What Is Goth?. The section is too long for me to transcribe, but it's very interesting, IMO, and worth checking out from the library if you can (he's pretty funny, too). Here's the section I was reminded of:

As they say of history, it is written by the victors. Not so for the Goths, though. While they may have succeeded in crushing the Roman Empire, they never were very much liked by history. Their name has come to represent a myriad of unrelated things that were distasteful to someone, somewhere, sometime after the Renaissance.

One thing has for the most part held true, though: while the application of "gothic" has changed with each period, the underlying meaning has remained the same. The bottom line is that "gothic" equals "bad, dark, weird, and reviled by the mainstream." So really, maybe it's not such a bad name for our little musical subgenre after all.

At the end of the day, I guess it's a good thing that Rome wasn't sacked by the Normans instead of the Goths. If they had, this scene wouldn't be called "Gothic." It would be called "The Norm." It's hard enough trying to understand the twisted meaning of the word "gothic"; imagine a world where "normal" means dark, weird, mysterious, and reviled by the mainstream!

Come to think of it...that sounds kind of nice.
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#30
"Conforming with, adhering to, or constituting a norm, standard, pattern, level, or type"

Nope. I wouldn't say being gay is normal.
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