Worried about getting cheated on.....

[jhoe]

Hi all. Im new here. Basically looking for some advice.
So im a 28 yr old guy in a relationship with another guy who ive had a long history with. We have been together for almost a year but have been seeing each other for about 3 years. (he had a gf for most of it. now they arent together and we are)

He is gay and says that he doesnt like girls. Same with me. I also used to be with girls but i was just hiding who i really was.

Anyway so we used to have sex lots for the first few month of us being together but now its stopped. He gets angry if i ever mention it and says im never happy. I hardly ever get anything (bj's) but he will take as many of them as i give. Tho sometimes he gets funny and push me away. As for anal i never get it. Refuses to give it to me but he would get it from me anytime. Although lately thats stopped as well.

He watches porn when im not home and also releives himself as we all do...
To me it seems odd that we dont ever do anything other than bj's and even thats now rare. I thought id test the waters as i dont even think he's attracted to me. I think its more of a convienence thing as i do so much for him,and suggested a third to fool around with. And he was quick to agree and say yeah as long as im happy. Im so confused and worried that he already has another on the side.

So sorry bout the long post.....This is my first relationship with a guy.
Any thoughts on what i should do or say? I do love him and he always tells me the same

[MisterTinkles]

To be blunt.....

Sounds like a "player" to me. He just wants YOU to give HIM what HE wants and to hell with what YOU want.

Id dump him. He's no good for you.

Stay friends if you want, but live your own life and just leave him to his. No more fooling around.

He will probably say anything to get what HE wants, and then once you have given it to him, he's just done with you...hence the acting "funny". He obviously has no intention of ever giving you what you want, and couldnt care less.

You dont need that. Get out, get your own life. Find a REAL man who is truly interested in you.
That is, unless you like being treated like a prostitute.

[Kiid]

jhoe fitting mane he sounds like just a hoe.

Whats the relationship like outside of sex life?

[pellaz]

welcome to gayspeak

the bad,
trust is a significant ingredient of a relationship. feel free to open his email or cell phone if it saves the relationship. But can you do this with a totally clear conscience, most people cant.

better way:
Communication is another component. Along the lines of that communication you may talk to him in a serious way. Take a few days and think about what you will say. Express its very important you guys talk and you absolutely desire a reasonable logical two way conversation.


-you might be challenged by what you find out or maybe not.
-Spy on him or talk to him but in the end the goal is to build the trust back.

[Ryocchi]

I agree wth Pellaz, you need to have a long conversation of what you want and expect of a relationship even if you discover he's not cheating, because to me here the main point is that your needs are not being meet, as a couple both parts need to compromise, but when one part feels obligatd by other to do something t isn't good either, maybe he's a pure top, which is alright and good, but you aren't a pure bottom, if he really doesn't want to reciprocrate you, the bottom line is that you're not compatible, hoping for your happiness, whether you fix it with him or break it up.

[Matthew]

Life's too short to be unhappy with your situation :O I agree with Ryocchi have a long talk with him then decide where you both go from there.