Rent boy?

[Anonymous]

I love my bf...I found a message on his pc arranging to meet a rent boy in Milan (he's going on a business trip in a fortnight).

I challenged him on it and he swears it was just a fantasy..

We've spoken about it a few times and it always ends in arguing..

But I love him and don't want to lose him..

[princealbertofb]

Let him see the rent boy (if he can afford it) and warn him to take his precautions and play it safe.... Remind him to do this for you and for his sake as well. You can't stop a cheating boyfriend if that's what's on his mind... By letting him have his freedom of choice, he may rethink this... After all, it's only sex... The rent boy's not suddenly going to become his new lover. You have that place, so hold on to it but be firm about him taking his precautions to prevent disaster or damage to both of you.

[boy_toy_08]

I already told him he can see him if he used condoms...he swore he wont though. we had a heart to heart and he swore.

Are we still safe barebacking?

[princealbertofb]

I already told him he can see him if he used condoms...he swore he wont though. we had a heart to heart and he swore.

Are we still safe barebacking?

Probably not, since you yourself feel you can't trust him... You're too young to fling your life away, Robbie. Think of that. From now on, it's condoms. For both of you. He'll start wondering whether you're not doing things too, won't he?

[boy_toy_08]

Probably not, since you yourself feel you can't trust him... You're too young to fling your life away, Robbie. Think of that. From now on, it's condoms. For both of you. He'll start wondering whether you're not doing things too, won't he?

We tried with condoms..he can't stay hard.

Last time we tried he managed to cum....I was happy...till I realised halfway through he'd taken the condomn off without telling me! :mad:

He said before if we started using them and he couldn't get satistfied then he didn't know what would happen....but after he said he could live without sex as he loves me so much.

[pocket_pilgrim]

Probably not, since you yourself feel you can't trust him... You're too young to fling your life away, Robbie. Think of that. From now on, it's condoms. For both of you. He'll start wondering whether you're not doing things too, won't he?

i agree wholeheartedly.

i also hope and trust that when you stopped using them in the first place, the decision was based on a strong bond and lots of trust - that now things are maybe changing in that department is definitely the time to be cautious.

[boy_toy_08]

i agree wholeheartedly.

i also hope and trust that when you stopped using them in the first place, the decision was based on a strong bond and lots of trust - that now things are maybe changing in that department is definitely the time to be cautious.

We didn't stop using them....we never really started. I knwo sorry....I was immature at the time!

But we do have a strong bond....I mean the last time I saw him we cuddled up and spoke for hours.

He CAN'T reach orgasm with condoms....I'm worried he'll look elsewhere if I make him use condoms.

[princealbertofb]

Listen, Robbie.... I don't want to alarm you... I know condoms are not for everyone and they're not technically much fun. But... I know what I'm talking about when I say you are probably not as safe as you ought to be... Probably your mate has not been with anyone else yet and so far you've been safe enough (if neither of you was infected by any sexually transmitted disease) BUT, there is a big BUT... my younger brother died of AIDS and it is NOT a nice illness to have AT ALL, even though there are now therapies that seem to work better than they did at the time... Maybe it would be time for both of you to have a medical checkup on your HIV status. If you've done nothing too risky, there ought to be no reason for concern or alarm. Besides, there are plenty of other ways of pleasuring your guy without him having to come inside you. If you have anal sex, let it be with condoms and when he's excited enough, finish him off by hand, for example. It is easy, and it's definitely safer. Incidentally, if he goes looking elsewhere, then he's not worth your trouble... If he loves you, he should understand your concerns.

PS... on a lighter note, CUDDLING and TALKING are definitely in the safer sex category... Keep those up. mile:

[pocket_pilgrim]

He CAN'T reach orgasm with condoms....I'm worried he'll look elsewhere if I make him use condoms.

i don't think that's reason enough for you to jeopardize your health. i mean, i'm not saying he's doing things behind your back, but, as recent events have showed, he is definitely thinking about it - so there is a small chance he is even going to do it. he might even just be saying he can't have an orgasm with a condom just to get you to not use them.

from the "business trip" i gather that he's older than you - if so, be careful that he doesn't think you are his boy-toy, or ONE of his boy-toys. he can count on your lack of experience and trust to get away with some things.

i am not saying to become paranoid or worry for nothing, but be cautious and realistic.

and, as admirable as that is, think of your own well-being, more than his.

[boy_toy_08]

Pilgrim, he really can't come with a condom...he goes flaccid.

He is older but we've been seeing each other for 8 months... he trusts me that much that he introduced me to his ex-wife as just a friend, and he's not even out. He's even given me keys to his house!

So I really do trust him....