Probably Gay?

[foreverjung]

Hey everybody,

I'm a 22 year old guy who read a book today about a teen in denial about his homosexuality, and it hit home so hard that I had to do some soul-searching.

I suspect I am gay, but have never experimented/fantasized/anything. But I think I just couldn't handle that sort of issue at the crucial juncture of middle school and just repressed it deeply. The last 10 years I have been sexually dead, basically.

I have dated girls, but something just felt wrong. The idea of having sex with them was not appealing, even if I thought they were attractive. One asked me if I was gay, and I said no. And I really believed it at the time.

A lot of people I know have asked me if I was gay, and some even just assumed I was, but I just thought I was different. Even my dad is constantly feeling me out by asking me what I think of hot girls. It would also account for my impotence with women.

Weirdly I feel very positive about this in general. It all kind of clicks. Something always felt wrong, like I was cheating myself, and it ate away at me. Suddenly I feel very relieved. I make sense to me now.

Anyway, enough about me, this revelation is only 2 hours old, so you'll forgive my ramblings.

I just signed up here to sort of learn more, I might not post a ton, but you can bet I'll be reading up!

[BorneoJake]

Welcome to gay speak foreverjung! I hope the advice on here well help you out! I think your just in a cross roads in life where your questioning your sexuality. For some people they know they are gay and with others it requires experimentation and time. I would say just go out try going on a date with a nice guy and see how it goes. Don't try to rush to figure things out either. Just take your time and let things happen naturally. I hope this advice helps you forevejung!

[forteunderway]

Hello foreverjung. Just remember that human sexuality is no binary and that events may influence your sexuality more to one side or another. Take your time with this one.

[ManicReptile21]

Your answer is simple. Go date a guy, whom you may have mixed emotions about. One you may even consider cute. Do you even know what you like? What sort of guy you like? What did you look for in women (if anything at all)? Do tell. The audience is prepared to converse.

[Nick9]

Hi foreverjung, welcome to the forum
And congrats.
That paragraph of yours that starts with "weirdly"... I can relate 100%.
I hope you'll stay and have a good time here.

[Rainbowmum]

Hi and welcome .

[Tyrion]

I can't say what your sexuality is, only you know that, but in a way I can relate to what you're saying. For the longest time I remained in denial -- to the point where I never even acknowledged the fact that I could be gay. It wasn't even an option.

I finally got the point where I was so unhappy.. it hit me, and I realized that I had to accept who I was if I ever wanted to actually live. Since that point (which really was a huge moment for me.. simply accepting it for myself), I have been quite happy.

Again, I'm not sure if it's the same in your case, but you are exploring the possibility.. and that's a step forward.

Welcome to gayspeak! .

[pellaz]

... But I think I just couldn't handle that sort of issue at the crucial juncture of middle school and just repressed it deeply. The last 10 years I have been sexually dead ...

This sounds like me.

definition:
your gay if your able to have a more successful relationship with the same sex. Little or nothing to do with porn. Seems to have nothing to do with your environment or parents. There were always a percentage of gay in the population.


Figure out what works for you.
Worst case you wind up in a straight relationship with children. Gay men make for a weak hetro family. You feel trapped and drag children and a kind loving confused wife into bad. There is some urgency in this. Being gay even the last two years has seen changes and most people dont care what our sexuality is. You can have the husband, children and career mix as any straight. Coming out to your self is a big effort.

dont put a label on it
sexuality is like hair color; cant permanently change it, a little different for everyone.

[mailiepops]

Hi and welcome
IMO sexuality is fluid. Don't stress so much on a label, just follow your heart. I stresed way too much on labels when I first figured out what was so different about me. I'm pansexual and before I came across that term and all of the wonderful people on my life that have helped me figure things out I was so anxious about if I was gay or straight. I've learned to live my life and just love everyone. I am a much happier person.

[Kenny221]

Well well well, looks like we got another fellow Canadian here. WATCH OUT GUYS, CANADIANS ARE TAKING OVER. Hehehe.

Anyways, welcome to the forums bud.