Simple Home Remedies

[LONDONER]

These really work!

1. To avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables, get someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. To avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat – use the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes thus reducing the pressure on your veins. (Remember to use a timer.)
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have had a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives – you’ll be afraid to cough.
6. You need only two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

[MisterTinkles]

These really work!

1. To avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables, get someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
2. To avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat – use the sink.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers, simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes thus reducing the pressure on your veins. (Remember to use a timer.)
4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have had a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives – you’ll be afraid to cough.
6. You need only two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
7. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

I thought you were British?
Those are Southern home remedies!!!

Actually, I have done #3 before.
It also happens every three months when I go to the Dr. for my diabetic checkup and he takes vials of blood!!!! Notice I said vials, not vial!!!

[ardus]

These really work!
2. To avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat – use the sink..

To avoid arguing with the females about lifting the toilet seat only live with men. ;-)

Richard

[MisterTinkles]

To avoid arguing with the females about lifting the toilet seat only live with men. ;-)

Richard

Americas next hit show....

"Drill Sergeants Say the Darnedest Things"

[ardus]

You have no idea my friend.

Richard

[LONDONER]

It also happens every three months when I go to the Dr. for my diabetic checkup and he takes vials of blood!!!! Notice I said vials, not vial!!!

That's absolutely normal MisterTinkles. When they take blood for a diabetic tesrt they usually take three vials.

[Kiid]

To avoid lung cancer use lots of marijuana

[Lilitu]

Actually, I have done #3 before.

I actually have a special spring loaded needle gun for that exact purpose at home! Mum's high blood pressure used to be really bad and so her korean friend bought me a pen to use on mum if it got too high.

basically you prick each fingertip with the gun (which looks like a pen... I smell a fun prank waiting to happen).