Not sure what happened at party

[GiantsFan]

Hey guys. Recently out of the closet and been embracing my new found freedom. Last Night, I went to my friend's place for a party he was throwing. He probably had 20-30 people over. Mostly LGBT guys and some girls too. During his party, I decided to let loose and have some fun. I was planning on staying the night so didn't have to worry about driving. I met a lot of new faces and overall had a fun night. My only problem though is I woke up the next day really hung over. To make it worse I was naked in my friends guest bed. Now normally this isn't unusual because I usually sleep naked, but never at a friend's place. I dont even remember going to bed last night let alone stripping down to nothing. I'm worried something may have happened. I'm a virgin and never had sex before. What do you guys think? Am I being paranoid?

[Eros]

Oh I was there, da party was wiiiiild, and you garrl, you were amazing.... jk, you should ask your friend o: or some ppl idk... xD

[VileKyle]

Something like this happened to me back when I used to party. I woke up in a garage wearing different clothes than I showed up in. I found out that it was due to me throwing up everywhere, including on my first and second set of clothes. I don't party like that anymore...

Anyways, just ask people what happened. It could be from any number of things.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Obviously you had what is called a 'blackout' where you are upright, functioning and doing stuff but have no recall of what you did during that time. For myself, I would fall into my old predictable patterns once I hit black out (did it often enough) and didn't do anything crazy or stupid (unfortunately I guess). That is pretty typical of 'blackouts' for a majority who drink to that state.

If your typical behavior is to take off your clothes before bed, it is highly possible in your drunken state you reverted to 'auto-pilot' and automatically took off your clothes yourself.

To be blunt - if you have been fucked your ass would let you know. There is no way a virgin arse can be fucked without it hurting/being sore the next day. So if your bum-hole ain't hurting, you were not fucked.

Did you suck cock? Unknown. Did you get sucked off? Unknown. I would say it is unlikely you were able to achieve a full on erection in that state, and if you are a 'prude' of any measure that could have kicked in if anyone tried.

Guys made the mistake of trying to loosen me up with lots of alcohol... that never ended well for them. There is at least two tales of me beating the crap out of guys who made the mistake of trying to 'force' the issue after getting me to black out state. So if you are prudish you could very well be highly unapproachable for sex while you are in a black out.

IDK how you tick... there is also the other possibility that getting you drunk to black-out leads you to being highly open to having sex. From what you wrote, being this new out and being a virgin I would suspect that you are more likely to fight off advances than accept them.

[LONDONER]

I couldn't have put it better.

[Vigilias]

Hi, welcome to gayspeak.

From what you tell us, I wouldn't be TOO concerned.

You say that you're a virgin, so I would suspect that if anyone had tried penatrative sex not only would you have been alerted to it at the time but you will probably have been aware of some pain in that area, perhaps a little tendernes and bleeding for a few days afterwards.

As well as the issue of someone having sex with you without your knowlege or consent, perhaps you're also anxious about your status as a virgin. Many guys are and prefer to loose their virginity to someone they love and trust - or at least have the hots for. I was on Matt Damon's waiting list and Brad Pitt's before that but I realised I would probably be in my late 90's before my turn came - with either one!

If you're still worried about the physical aspect of things, maybe you might want to get checked for STI's. I don't know what the situation is in the USA but here in the UK we can go to a Sexual Health clinic at any hospital in the country.

Maybe next time you're at a party alternate every alcoholic drink you have with a soft drink. To be blunt, moderate the amount of alcohol you drink. Check up on what is considered to be safe drinking levels for you. Here in the UK for a man it's 2-3 units a day 14-21 units a week. A unit of alcohol is equivelent to 100ml of ethenol alcohol and every unit will take one hour to metabalised by the liver. So, one pint of ordinery strength beer or larger = 2 units and 2 hours to get rid of it from your body.

If it's practical and emotional support you find yourself in need of, you've come to the right place!

I've been using this site off and on for about three years and find it to be a really friendly and supportive set of forums.

I'm sure you have nothing to worry about!

Hope that helps, and good luck!

[GiantsFan]

The issue with that is I never drink to the point of blacking out. I never blacked out in my life. I'm a big guy who drinks regularly. I have a high tolerance.

[LONDONER]

If you're still worried about the physical aspect of things, maybe you might want to get checked for STI's. I don't know what the situation is in the USA but here in the UK we can go to a Sexual Health clinic at any hospital in the country.

Well said Vigilias. However, I beleive you would have to wait three weeks before you do an STD test. Nothing would show up before then.

[Vigilias]

LONDONER

Thanks for flagging up the issue of STI testing!

I used to be a salaried advisor on the UK Dpt of Health National AIDS Help Line and I of all people should have remembered that not ALL STI's show up on a first test.

For HIV the first test will indicate your status at that time only. There is a "window period" of 12 weeks during which time HIV antibodies may not be produced in sufficient quantities to be detected by the standard HIV test, therefore a "False Negative" result is a possibility IF you have been exposed to HIV. A Patient will be advised to return for another test in 12 weeks time which will give a confirmatory result.

Other STI's such as Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, et al can be detected immediately. I won't bore you to death with a huge post but will leave a link on testing from the best website I know on such matters. The website below belongs to the organisation which publishes various books and manuals which the Department of Health authorise to be used on the National Help Lines. I've never used anything else as I really trust them.

http://www.aidsmap.com/hiv-basics/Testing/page/1412439/

Thanks again LONDONER!

[HomeagainNYC]

The issue with that is I never drink to the point of blacking out. I never blacked out in my life. I'm a big guy who drinks regularly. I have a high tolerance.

Sorry it happened to you but you can't make it unhappen. I know it suck. I also know, your imagination is usually more vivid than real life.

If you are really concerned get to a clinic/doctor and have them check you for STD's.

That's it - all you can do to put your mind at rest - you cannot unring this bell.