He is 38 I am 64

[throbbinblue]

Hi Throbbin.

The one thing that really stood out to me in your post was this guys drinking and his mean attitude towards you when he's drunk.

I agree with Dan, his behaviour could indicate he has a drink problem but as someone who worked on a drugs and alcohol helpline for a while, the one thing I have to tell you is that you can't force help on him, he'll only take it if he wants it.

Perhaps you need to move on and find someone who will love and respect you as you deserve.

Plenty more apples on the tree!

Good luck!

I struggle with this because I so love being with him. I never lived my life as a gay man I was alway caught up in the idea it was spiritually bad to be gay. It was not until I got sober I realized God loved me how I was and I could have a relationship with another guy and God could still love me.
Every Time he texts me and asks me what I am doing at night I know he wants to get together sexually. Last night he sent said text and I responded I was not doing anything. Actually I was watching porn. I told him I always got horny when it was raining; and it was raining. I said do you want to come up? (he lives just across the parking lot from me)
Needless to say he sent me a text to open the front door as he was coming up which he did. He got up to my bedroom pulled out his poppers and from his waistband pulled out 3 dvds of porn which he put in my bedroom player.
He had brought up a glass of wine which he soon drank and asked me to make him a new drink with the vodka I had and which I did. He began to get drunk and I had to coerce him out of his shorts. Then he began to instruct me on how to give him a back massage like a former friend of his had done (ten years ago) and according to him I just did not do as good as Ulie had done. All the while I am beside massaging him trying to love on him. I love his skin and want to rub myself over all of him.
He kept pushing me away though he wants me touch him. I finally got him naked but then he did not like the fact I had not shaven. I got up took a shower and shaved as he continued to drink all the while laying there naked in his glory. He is very beautiful and pleasing to the eye looking about 23 while he is in reality 38.
He has decided I am a frustrated top because though I have always bottomed I have a big dick and he wants me to fuck him. I am not very comfortable as a top because I have never done it and the few times I have done it I have not enjoyed it. He is gotten me to top him a few times and it is a new experience for me but not very enjoyable as I can not truly get off on it.
Then there is the foreplay which I do not understand at all. He told me the other day he did not like me sucking his cock as I did not do it very well. He had told me several days before I was not a very good top because I had no rhythm. ( I have had not experience with it and I am a good deal older than him.) He will not kiss me stating though he likes kissing it is for commitment and he and I are not boyfriends. The other night he had me over to his house and we were doing poppers and I got caught up in the rush and begin to kiss him and though he responded positively ful for a few minutes suddenly bit my lip extremely hard and told me he did not do that and for me to stop. I still have a swollen lip.
He will welcome my advances touching him all over, but he never touches me, I can stroke his cock but he never strokes me, I can finger him and then attempt to push my cock in and perhaps he will allow me too and perhaps he will not help me at all. All affections are very one sided and he will suddenly get mad in the middle of any foreplay. I will suddenly decide I have had enough and try to exit the bed and he will suddenly be very sorry.
Last night I had had enough and went to living room and he came in and started telling me how sorry he was and he did not mean it. Of course I went back to bed with him and it was soon after he started chewing on me again about how he could not truly be with me because from a rules standpoint I owed him money and it was just not right. Last night I just finally shut down and did not talk to him nor did I attempt anything with him. He was in and out of bed stirring around I slept some and then about 5 am he settled down but he had all the cover. I finally left the bed and moved to the other room about 530 am. I got up around 10 am and he came out on the porch all innocence and said he was going home. A hour or so later sent me a text asking me to go to the YMCA with him working out and swimming. I did not respond and he came up and asked me about it. I told him I just wanted to be quiet today and no I would not go with him. I have not heard from him since.

[Slidezone303]

He has become my world in so many ways.

I stopped dead at that line. In light of that statement the rest was no surprise. When another person becomes ones whole world, no matter the quality of the relationship then I think we're headed for problems. I once "fell in love". It was intense, joyful. I wanted to run into the streets shouting. I lost interest in other activities. When the 'whirlwind' was over I felt empty and thought I might not ever be whole again. I should have lived my life and let the relationship find its fit, if is was to be at all. Since then I never make one person, place, pet, hobby, enterprise or material item, etc. "my world". It is disaster waiting to happen. His excessive drinking would have me being cautious and trying to ease out of this thing in the most prudent manner.

I suggest to focus on finding work and getting your car back, that is, getting these practical aspects of your life in order. Sometimes focusing on the practical can provide the distance to see the relationship more clearly. When the stress of all that has diminished, then find a way to deal with this person. Review what others have said in this thread and consider their suggestions. I know I couldn't be with someone who was nice, knowing he does a complete turnaround when he drinks. Good luck with this. The good thing is that you are aware of all this now before you get more deeply involved.

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