So there is this guy, He's my age (A year younger) and well... He's not entirely sure if he's gay, to me it seems like he is (and I hate to contribute to stereotypes, but he fits a lot of them) He's very... Sweet and shy and drawn back, but recently I decided I'd take him out on a date, so we caught something to eat and started talking, I want to make a move, but I feel like that's out of line if he doesn't know he's gay?
I talked to him about it, and he's really... Well... To the best of my ability it seems like he likes me? I'm just not sure, this is the first guy I've been romantically interested in x3 and that likes me back so I'm a bit nervous.
Another issue being, I refuse to date someone in the closet. Mainly because I don't want to be someones secret. I want to be able to hold hands in public and not have him weird-ed out by it, but I'm afraid he'd be in the closet, and the main reason he isn't sure (or what it seems like to me) is because he doesn't want to be gay and have his parents react badly. :/
Any suggestions, I'm at a loss on how to handle the situation..
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Try dropping breadcrumbs, just to help you work him out? Y'know, say you think some male celebrity is attractive, and ask his opinion. See how he reacts, and push come to shove you can just brush it off as a joke. Little things like that could help you work out if he's interested in guys, and could also make him feel more comfortable discussing the topic with you?
If you want to take a more direct-ish approach, just flirt with him a little? See how he reacts to it. Be subtle as hell at first, but slowly dial it up a notch, and see whether he shies away, flirts back, or what. If that doesn't work, just try asking him outright if you've been picking up on anything between the two of you?
Obviously, I think it'd be best to prepare for the worst case scenario - that he isn't gay - just so you don't end up feeling hurt if he isn't. Especially if this is your first serious crush, I'd recommend being careful. But if you genuinely feel like he might like you too, I'd definitely take that as a good sign 
On the "closet" side of things, try to think about it from his point of view? If he is gay, and in the closet, he probably has his reasons. Just because you wouldn't be able to show your relationship off at first wouldn't make it any less special, in fact it could make your privates together more special. Also, he probably wouldn't be in the closet forever, and if you like him as much as you say, you'd owe it to him to be patient, and help him feel comfortable enough to come out 
Hope it goes well for you, regardless of what you do
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kidchameleon Wrote:Try dropping breadcrumbs, just to help you work him out? Y'know, say you think some male celebrity is attractive, and ask his opinion. See how he reacts, and push come to shove you can just brush it off as a joke. Little things like that could help you work out if he's interested in guys, and could also make him feel more comfortable discussing the topic with you?
If you want to take a more direct-ish approach, just flirt with him a little? See how he reacts to it. Be subtle as hell at first, but slowly dial it up a notch, and see whether he shies away, flirts back, or what. If that doesn't work, just try asking him outright if you've been picking up on anything between the two of you?
Obviously, I think it'd be best to prepare for the worst case scenario - that he isn't gay - just so you don't end up feeling hurt if he isn't. Especially if this is your first serious crush, I'd recommend being careful. But if you genuinely feel like he might like you too, I'd definitely take that as a good sign
On the "closet" side of things, try to think about it from his point of view? If he is gay, and in the closet, he probably has his reasons. Just because you wouldn't be able to show your relationship off at first wouldn't make it any less special, in fact it could make your privates together more special. Also, he probably wouldn't be in the closet forever, and if you like him as much as you say, you'd owe it to him to be patient, and help him feel comfortable enough to come out
Hope it goes well for you, regardless of what you do
Edit: I have talked to him about celebs before, as we both LOVE Glee, and Sherlock Holmes (I'm getting him into doctor who soon) but uhh.. He has crushes on male celebs, but I've asked him and he doesn't feel like he would have sex with them? Just cuddle and kiss? He likes Yaoi, but doesn't like the sex? At first I thought he was asexual, but... I'm not even sure... It seems to me like he does like it... and he just doesn't want to be gay? I'm not exactly sure.
I've flirted with him before, and he either gets shy, but still acts interested or flirts back. Like I told him (because he didn't pick up any other flirting before hand, so It got to the point where I made it REALLY obvious) "If you ever need helping finding out whether you're gay or not usually it just takes a kiss, I wouldn't mind helping you~" And he seemed interested but once again got shy. It's usually in his personality to get shy, his girlfriends before said he was like that, along with his bestfriend.
Moving to the closet, I agree I need to have patience with him thank you ^^
Thank you very much ^^ This is really helpfull!
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You're welcome, glad to be of help
kidchameleon Wrote:Just because you wouldn't be able to show your relationship off at first wouldn't make it any less special, in fact it could make your privates together[B] more special.[/B]
...I just noticed that typo just now! Oh dear 
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Well, if he can't imagine having sex with a man, then he's probably not that gay. If he's to take Kinsey test, I'd say he's predominantly straight only incidentally gay.
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mamza Wrote:Well, if he can't imagine having sex with a man, then he's probably not that gay. If he's to take Kinsey test, I'd say he's predominantly straight only incidentally gay.
Thanks ^^ I appreciate the feedback (although it's not something I necessarily would enjoy hearing it's nice to get the feedback from someone)
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Well, my new current relationship status shows how this went.
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Yey! Congrats mate. Very happy for you. Wish you both lot`s of happiness together.
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Armandork Wrote:Well, my new current relationship status shows how this went.
$#%@ YOU!
:tongue: :biggrin: Well good luck with the relationship... I'm miffed you got one before me... but I will let that slide this time and only this time. 
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I do not usually read other's replies before giving my own:
Quote: but I feel like that's out of line if he doesn't know he's gay
I think you should trust your instinct here. Sometimes a work of love is precisely to not act in an untimely fashion. Be with him, be yourself. Be supportive, all the while being open to the unexpected. You'll know when it is time to make a move. It will feel very natural...OR he may surprise you and make the first move.
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