All of the comments are so
Real and Truthfulls...I also used to be like that, i mean, wanting to be a female? I guess, but the only reason was my (straight) first crush LOL i wanted to be a girl, so maybe i would have a chance! But not anymore, just like one has already said, all the human beings are beautiful, Male or Female when i turned 9 i didn't wanted to be a girl anymore, i was 100% comfortable with my body, with myself and everything.And who's not jealous of the child birth stuff? Pregnancy is one of the biggest miracles and prettiest things on life, and even if we can't do it, it is still so beautiful, and it's then when the jealous are gone, females are amazing but males are amazing too! And yeah
I think that Mister Tinkles is right, maybe one of your cons can be one of our pros... Like a female's pros for you is to get pregnant. Well for some gay guys that's a cons cuz they don't have to take lot of cares before having sex ( condoms, pills)
AND also... Not every woman is like you said, i mean , not every woman is talk to softly, or served first, or don't pay the bill, opened the door...etc...because they don't have a gentleman to do that for them...All of that needs a GENTLEMAN to be done, someone who cares for you, who loves you, and you surely can find a gay gentleman for your own <3 haha ... Some womans can't find their gentleman too...
I hope this helps let me know if it does.
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I want to thank everybody who commented because, for one, it showed me that you cared enough to help with my dilemma. I really don't have anyone to talk about this particular subject with, so I'm grateful for this website.
To quickly clarify, I'm not going through any sex change transition; I'm simply just trying to accept the reality that I'm a male and learning to live with the fact.
The posts have helped me recognize a few things that I often forget to consider, such as women's rights in America vs. women's rights in foreign countries and that everybody is different; not all girls are like the girls I envy. Essentially, I just really need to stop wishing to live other people's lives (resulting in major disappointment) and just live my own! I always dream about things--ideal things--but never just live in the present; I've never given my present a chance really. I keep focusing on how bad I have it, looking things as cons, when in fact they could be seen as positive. I need to accept that I'm beautiful just the way I am, and there has to be a reason why I was made this way.
Regarding the point on romance, I want to thank Will101 for helping me realize that what I really want is a gentleman, and I can find one without being a girl.
Once again, thank you to everybody who commented. I truly value every response.
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I have wanted to be a girl all of my life but never had the money for the surgery. Thru the years I have found happiness as a fem gay guy. I was born this way and love it. Even if I could choose to be straight I wouldn't, but oh yah, I still want to be a girl.
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I think most people wonder about what it'd be like to be the other sex/gender sometimes. It is frustrating because it forever eludes us. I suppose only you can decide whether it is just curiosity or you would actually be happier as female.
For what it is worth, I don't think women have everything better- in the spirit of balance, respect comes easier to men in the work place and generally, often the man is assumed to be senior, regardless of whether he is. Men are judged more equally on what they are and do, not just how they look, they opinions tend to be considered to be of greater value. Men have the upper hand in instigating relationships (I guess this doesn't count for gay people). Being socialised and encultured in a way that promotes confidence, and a feeling of entitlement. Being able to make greater choices in how to live our life- have family or not, stay at home, don't, have a successful career, or don't... without people making such harsh judgements. I could go on, plenty great stuff about being a man!
Back to the matter at hand, maybe you could try playing with gender- dressing up, adopting a different persona and going out like that, anything that feels comfortable. This might help you feel better. If not, maybe you need to think about whether you are transgendered. It is just about finding a way to live with your gender identity, how to present yourself, how to be, how to be seen by others, that feels right. I suppose no one born male knows what it's like to be female, and vice versa. I suppose in that way, trans people take a risk. But experimenting and exploring a new gender identity is probably the best way to get an idea if it feels right or not.
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Yes woman are considered the fairer sex, woman have doors held open, woman don't face physical intimidation by other woman the way men do from other men. Woman talk about there feelings more. In accidents, for example - titanic, it WOMAN and children first. It will always be this way. Even though you know how you feel on the inside, people cannot get over who you are on the outside.One day you,ll meet a guy, and he,ll know you better than you know yourself and treat you the way you deserve.
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I don't agree with altering our body's. What were given in this life is ours, we should grin and bear it, concentrate on yourself, not what sex you are.
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I find it so sad every time I hear a guy wanted to become a woman and the opposite is true. Guys I can understand your pain but don't go against nature. If the providence decided to make you a guy (so be it you're a guy). As for child birth, sorry guy, the technology have not come to the point yet to turn a guy into a perfect women so you may want a Vagina but that will never ever going to be like the real one that woman have... why? Because that's nature intended take the clitoris per example how many nerves are in that little button of 3 to 4 cm that is there only for the woman's sexual pleasure? Do you really believe a surgeon can replicate that to perfection? No nature is perfect no matter some of the mistake it does to some people with disabilities or coegenital mistakes it is notheless perfect. You modify your body thinking that it will make you happy... it's false happiness... you'll never be contempt.
At 19 years old it's normal to have this kind of gender issues... curiosity hits at a very young age and for some such as yourself it gets to a delusional proportion. I do know some transgenders that went through the whole operation... after it was done they have been happy for few years but after a while they start wondering who they are. Identity issue is a real problem and you should definitely search in finding out what you really want... there's perks to be a man and there's advantage to be a woman but in both there's also very bad things about being woman or a man. I am not going to say here those perks or cons since few fellows have pointed it before I did and there's no point repeating them. But learn to live your life... you're 19 at least take some good time to appreciate your gender, a human being is a wonderful natural engineering, fiddling with it is turning you into some sort of frankenstein, a monster and trust me that's how society will view you. Few of my transgender friends after a successful operation had to hide the fact that they used to be man or woman to the partner they were interested in, every new changes you make in your life will bring new issues. Life follows a straight path, you can take any detour you want, you'll always come back to the yellow brick road.
And to the question "What's so wonderful to be a gay men". Well you are going to have to ask this question to yourself and find what's makes you wonderful as a gay men. Don't come around asking other gay men what is beautiful to be a gay men you'll never get a straight answer and yet again your petitioning other's people life so you can mimic it. As a bisexual/gay dude what I find wonderful is the fact that I am a man and like other man... there's nothing really wonderful since I make myself the way I want it. And that is my own perception, another gay dude will have a total different view. You can't ask this general question because there's so many different color in a rainbow and you got to pick the one that you like.
You're 19... sit down, take a pen and paper (not a computer) write to yourself and tell yourself what you find wonderful about you. Tell yourself what you think is your best asset. Fall in love with you again, and you'll see once you appreciate who you are, once you'll know what you want your life to become it will be much much easier to voice out your preferences to your partner. Each and every one of us are unique... there's no such things as normality in a human being. How can I say such thing? For a blind man/woman it is normal for them to wake up in darkness and go sleep in darkness but for those who can see it's a total abnormality.
Do that little exercise and try not to lie to yourself, lying to yourself will obviously make you lie to others.
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Jake Wrote:I find it so sad every time I hear a guy wanted to become a woman and the opposite is true. Guys I can understand your pain but don't go against nature. If the providence decided to make you a guy (so be it you're a guy).
So fucking each other's ass is more natural ha?
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Okay, i dont really understand why you guys are saying not to do any kind of transition. Because you were born this way. Its easy for people to say these things when they are comfortable in their own skin. People that are trans are born this way, it's not something that is taught or you develop over time. Something happens in the womb when your brain is being coded for its gender, and if you are lucky, your brain matches your physical gender, but in my case and many others we aren't so lucky. You telling people to just deal with their gender because they were born with it, is like telling someone not fix a cleft lip because they were born with it. I know people that were to the brink of suicide and decided to transition, and are no longer suicidal and living happy lives. I will tell you that my life has turned really shitty ever since I have accepted myself as trans. I see patterns with other people that try and deny the fact that this is who they are, and they shrug it off, usually trying to convince themselves that they are a gay male, and this whole trans thing is a phase. That should sound familiar to everybody on here that was pre-coming out. The only difference is i tell most gay people I meet that i am gay, because sadly some gay people are disgustes by trans people. That is so backwards. Anyway I digress. Its easy to say don't alter your body when you are comfortable with it, but to people that feel 100% wrong in theirs, they alternative sometimes is very very bad, and i circle that option like a hawk most of the time. The only reason I haven't started a transition is because It would really hurt my family by telling them this, and i would not be able to find/keep a job in this red state i live in as an EMT, because my state is allowed to discriminate against LGBT members in the workplace. I'm not doing it to preserve my spirit or soul or whatever, i dont give a damn about that shit, i sonetimes look at suicide as an option, do you really think I care about that stuff?
Yes are there people that are confused about their gender that are just young and curious? Of course there are. Not everyone will want to become a female, but enjoy what vanity it has to offer, but for people, (especially I in the gay community) to keep dismissing being trans saying it's a phase is sickening. I have and still do play the part of a gay male, and i would almost always get asked that it was a phase I was going through. Of course you tell them no, because you are certain that this is who you are. I have seen so much support on this forum and i too am grateful that I have a place to speak freely, but to the person that started this topic (I'm sorry, i forgot your name. I'm on my cell phone and can't look it up without losing this novel I'm typing lol) you and only you will know deep down inside of who you are, and who you want to be. Whether you are comfortable being a man, or feel like you should be a woman, don't let anyone gay, lesbian, straight, bi or trans tell you who you are, but make sure you are being true to your self, and being accepting of yourself. Its sometimes not the easiest option, but it's the right option(accepting yourself). Like i said, i kept telling myself I wasn't trans, when i couldnt shake those feelings I just convinced myself that I was gay, and those feelings never went away, now look where I am. Finally being true with myself 10 years later. I hope you are able to find your answers and live the life that makes you happy, just don't let anyone tell you how you are feelibg
Lots of luv
Huggs
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So, there is a lot of colors of rainbow but some people are monsters. Well done, Jake.
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