Need relationship advice - boyfriend always go out with friend on Friday nights
07-21-2013, 11:14 PM
Honestly, I'm a little jaded here...
In the end, I know what's the best advice is what Bowyn and Lordswitch both said...
I just got out of a relationship similar to this. Not so much the every Friday night going out with the same friend, but definitely the underlying feeling - on his part - that the relationship should be able to sustain itself even when only one party is doing the work, and the want to placate me without actually addressing the issues and really paying attention to what's going on in the world around him - or in my world.
That part of me, that's just a tad jaded still, says leave his ass - like right now - no matter how painful it is for the both of you. You'll be better off.
And, if you've already have the conversations that everyone else has mentioned having, maybe that's the next step. But if not, it's definitely time for a "I'm running at a deficit, our relationship is failing on auto-pilot, and we have to rework our lives if we really want to make "US" work" conversation.
A relationship, in my opinion, should be viewed as a separate entity that both need to contribute to. So, both partners need to contribute to themselves, to the other partner, and to the relationship as a 3rd separate but equal entity. The relationship should contribute to itself and to both partners equally (or at least it all works out in the wash). When one partner becomes the only one contributing to anyone but themselves, well, it becomes unnecessarily difficult and it stops being a partnership (barring major uncontrollable circumstances, of course).
So, if you haven't - chat with him.
If you have, I'd pack my bags...but again - I'm unnecessarily jaded in that realm.
In the end, I know what's the best advice is what Bowyn and Lordswitch both said...
I just got out of a relationship similar to this. Not so much the every Friday night going out with the same friend, but definitely the underlying feeling - on his part - that the relationship should be able to sustain itself even when only one party is doing the work, and the want to placate me without actually addressing the issues and really paying attention to what's going on in the world around him - or in my world.
That part of me, that's just a tad jaded still, says leave his ass - like right now - no matter how painful it is for the both of you. You'll be better off.
And, if you've already have the conversations that everyone else has mentioned having, maybe that's the next step. But if not, it's definitely time for a "I'm running at a deficit, our relationship is failing on auto-pilot, and we have to rework our lives if we really want to make "US" work" conversation.
A relationship, in my opinion, should be viewed as a separate entity that both need to contribute to. So, both partners need to contribute to themselves, to the other partner, and to the relationship as a 3rd separate but equal entity. The relationship should contribute to itself and to both partners equally (or at least it all works out in the wash). When one partner becomes the only one contributing to anyone but themselves, well, it becomes unnecessarily difficult and it stops being a partnership (barring major uncontrollable circumstances, of course).
So, if you haven't - chat with him.
If you have, I'd pack my bags...but again - I'm unnecessarily jaded in that realm.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
