my friend the lesbian who hated gay men.

[partisan]

Do some gay men hate lesbians and some lesbians hate gay men. I know both exist but ive only had experience of the later.

I was living in shared accomodation and almost instantly made friends with this lesbian let's say "Jane"

She was boyish in her attitude and looks but very friendly, she was quite a popular sort of person. anyway we were chatting one morning and the topic come up of gay guys, i was inwardly very suprised when jane confessed to hating gay men and saying it was "wrong" but i didnt say anything (i wasnt openly gay) sometime later she beat up this camp gay boy that everyone knew, i could hardly believe it. By this time we were no longer living together but would say hello and have a chat when we saw each other, but after i heard about the beating, i pretty much avoided her.

Its strange coz we really got on, she was even one of the people i had my oiuji board experience (never again). Also, rather oddly one night we stayed up massaging each others backs lol






Has anyone had experience of this on either side. Do some gay woman dislike butch woman

[megumidesu]

i've had a lot of experience of gay men disliking women in general , not just lesbians.

like a "because i'm not sexually attracted to them , all women are pointless and wrong and annoying and need to go away" attitude.

[partisan]

Yes ive seen that, not personally, but seen it on film, documentary. I absolutley hate it with a passion. They wouldnt even be their if not for a woman ie - their mother

[megumidesu]

Yes ive seen that, not personally, but seen it on film, documentary. I absolutley hate it with a passion. They wouldnt even be their if not for a woman ie - their mother

yeah it seems ridiculous ... but i have met real people who have that attitude . including a few (non regular one-time posters usually) people on here . there have been soooo many times in chat when i've been talking to someone in chat , and then as soon as they realize i'm a woman (and that this isn't a male only forum) they'll leave and disappear completely 0__O

[Edward]

I've never met a lesbian who would hate gay men. All lesbians I know are very nice and friendly.

[pellaz]

Historically there has been reported dis like for the lesbian population.
The gay population, given their personal experience, be them selves more inclusive.
I dont think this is the way it has to be

a gay man's hag girl friend can be a great friendship and a good resource for both people

[VileKyle]

I personally never understood that. If you don't want people to treat you differently because of your sexual orientation, why would you treat other orientations differently? Damn, people! It doesn't matter if you're L, G, B, T, or anything else. Stop hating based on that. We're all human and deserve to be treated as equals.

[Pix]

My GUESS is that she saw herself as a guy and internalized the more shameful portions of the "boy code" to punish males who violated the codes of masculinity. Then again there are some who feel defensive about who and what they are so go on the offensive against someone else to feel better about themselves no matter how ridiculous it may look to those on the outside. A more intricate guess is that she hated what was feminine in her female body that she viewed as actually male and therefore despised camp gay males as an equal but opposite of herself, and since she wasn't wired to attack herself she'd attack her equal but opposite number (and consider all gay men camp/feminine) as she saw their gayness as the same "disease" that afflicted her (seeing herself as male, or "should've been") and attacking that, as if the quality that made gay men "camp" was also the same thing that made her female when she "shouldn't have been."

Still, it seems very rare to me. In my observation, lesbians join gay men in being most likely to shun bisexuals of their own gender rather than gays of the opposite gender.

Do some gay woman dislike butch woman

Yes.

Much as how many gay men want to be with MEN, many lesbians want to be with someone clearly a woman, so butches and the like tend to be shunned a lot (including in not getting invites, etc), if not treated poorly outright. And that's not even counting how cliquish all too many women are (of any orientation) that can become downright vicious to those who try to mix with them while not conforming to their standards (typically arbitrary and ranging from petty to insane).

[KawaiiKitty]

yeah Ive met my fair share of lesbian man haters in my time. I think thats why I have a problem relating to lesbians myself. I try to be nice and cordial upfront if they are with me. Ive found that for some reason that most of the lesbians that are man haters usually have a chip on their shoulder like they have something to prove over and over to the world like theyre not good enough or something. Either that or they just have some kind of overly possessive thing with their girlfriends. Like even if you are joking around with their girlfriends in a "derogatory" way(you know how like friends call each other bitch and slut etc) they will get very very angry over it.

Not all of them Ive met online but this one particular one happened to be the head of the guild I was in on WoW on a server called "Proudmoore". Its where there are ALOT of gay and/or gay friendly guilds. She had a partner who played the game with her and I was joking around with the partner bcs she was being kind of a bitch to people in vent and I was trying to lighten the mood. I said something about "getting the sand out of her vagina" or something, again as a joke. Her girlfriend(the guild leader of the guild) basically dressed me down in private chat about insulting her girlfriend. Im like really? wtf! We'd been friends for well over six months by that point. It just seems like they picked someone to hate every few months and basically hated on them until they left the guild(probably why they couldnt get two steady raid team together until I joined the guild and put one together). When I put the other raid team together the guild leader decided to put her foot down and say that both raid teams had to follow the same rules(her rules) and it was her way or the highway.

Yet another incident with those two women which happened just before the incident above was that they started some very unwarranted trash talking this one woman over ventrilo when she was late for a raid. I mean badly trash talking her where EVERYONE in the guild that was online could hear. So when she brought up to me the incident of "insulting" with her girlfriend I blasted right back with the two of them insulting our guild mate in vent. I was like as the guild leader thats something you DONT do. You DONT play favorites and you especially DONT do that in ventrilo in front of the whole guild. She actually did apologize to me for that for making me hear it. I was like you dont need to apologize to me you need to apologize to our guild mate. Though I have a feeling the apology was insincere. As far as I know she never apologized to the guild mate.

Again this is just MY experience and Im sure not all lesbians are like this, thankfully.

[Undreamt]

Me and my bf can be chauvinistic at times, I just can't stand women to get in the way and try and take over gay clubs.

Lesbians aren't as bad as straight women though.

I don't' think its necessarily hate between gay people and lesbians, from what i have seen it seems to be closer to fierce competition or heat generated from different masculinity/feminity roles each are taking.