This is not going to end well.

[partisan]

What, youve never buttled? Would you like to live downstairs to my upstairs? oh yeah, i havent got a downstairs and my flats only marginally bigger than a matchbox, somehow i think i am actually downstairs, though when my employers go to bed, i sneak around in there silk robes, playing Air-piano and sitting in masters chair reading "the times"

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I would say, come stay with me, but I have a DINKY apartment and the pet deposit here equals a months rent....so thats why I dont have a cat right now. The "living room" is my storage area. What little I have left in life, is stored in there. Everything else is in my bedroom.

That's ok, how big is the bed again? Do you mind sharing (He says innocently) I promis I will keep my hands to myself... I can't promise much when it comes to the tongue though... it has a mind of its own. :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:

[trialbyerror]

Hi B
That so sucks.... Damn that sucks!
That we live in different countries :mad:

[HomeagainNYC]

You, of all people, seem to know the ups and downs of life. How do you know this is not going to end well? All you really know is - it will end - as all things do. Change is a necessary part of life - you've lived it; you've quieted its demons, as you have often shared.

None of us like forced change, but somehow it's necessary to our continued growth cycle. You have skills - you are a survivor, a talent, if you will.

Remember who you are and where you started - the next chapter is up to you to write.

Somehow I think it's going to be well thought out, well executed, and most of all bring you a little closer to being "settled". It's a processes, as you already know.

[MisterTinkles]

That's ok, how big is the bed again? Do you mind sharing (He says innocently) I promis I will keep my hands to myself... I can't promise much when it comes to the tongue though... it has a mind of its own. :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue: :tongue:

My bed is just big enough for me and Hugh. And Toby. And Ryan.
LMAO

I have a small bed. Well, to me its small, its a "full" size bed, but I pretty much take up the whole thing...and my feet hang off the end. I dont know what moron named this size bed "full", but its a baby mattress as far as Im concerned.

There IS the bathtub. LOL

[ardus]

My bed is plenty big, and often empty, unfortunately I live in the deep south and you live in the wilds of Mirkwood.

But seriously, if you need help my friend let me know, I will do what I can.

Richard


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[Bowyn Aerrow]

Missing NYC,

Everything I say is a lie. I'm a liar..... :tongue:

Oh there I go with the jokes and the smilies - always with the jokes is this one....

I am tired. I am not doing well physically. I'm in a lot of pain due to the herniated disks, I am constantly wondering when the next status epilepticus session is going to happen. We won't talk about the waking up screaming at night which has intensified and remained a living nightmare since Blue (Thanks Blue).

Wanna know why my ex is still my roommate a year after I discovered he was having sex with over a hundred of men? Because I'm terrified I will have another session of status epilepticus and end up dying before anyone finds me. So I don't push that hard to kick his happy arse out of my life.

I want him gone, I also want to beat his head in with a sledge hammer, I want to break his face, break his arm - scream at him - then kick his ass to the curb - but I hold my silence because there is that nagging fear I will have another S.E. and end up dying on my living room floor.

Looking at the adverts I note that they want a current, valid DMV (driver's license). Mine was revoked in October of last year because of status epilepticus and that ER visit. No doctor will sign off if I tell the truth about my absence seizures. The last time I lost my license I learned to lie through my teeth and drove while endangering everyone on the road and on the side of the road. Yeah sure an absence seizure only lasts a second, what could possibly happen in that short amount of time?

To my horror I am dependent on others to get around. The nearest bus stop is about two miles away.

My choices are limited and I fear that any more change may actually kill me. I have already had over a year of 'change'.

I hide a lot of my crap behind laughter and jokes. The truth is that my shit isn't all together, and since Spring of 2012 everything in my life has slowly gone to hell and I can't stop it from happening or figure a way out.

[ardus]

The truth is that my shit isn't all together, and since Spring of 2012 everything in my life has slowly gone to hell and I can't stop it from happening or figure a way out.

No one really has their shit all together my friend. Anyone that seems to is just putting up a good illusion.

We're all just trying to stave off our lives going slowly to hell.

Remember that there are people that love you and care about you, not everyone in the world is as bad as the people that you have had to deal with.

You've managed to struggle through some very difficult circumstances in your life and your a strong and good hearted person, and I have absolutely no doubt that you will be able to get through this too.

I wish I could come out there and give you a big hug and make everything feel better, you're a fantastic guy and you deserve better than you've been dealt.

(((((((((((((((((BIGHUGS))))))))))))))))))))))


Richard




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[Bowyn Aerrow]

Thanks for the vote of confidence and the hug.

I needed those. :biggrin:

[Buffylo]

Do they not have state issued ID's there that would suffice for any of those jobs?