07-25-2013, 05:40 PM
Hello. I've been here before, asking for advice. I'm still not sure about my sexual orientation (although I'm most likely gay), but that's not really the issue right now.
I'm going to college this year. I'm going to study in a different city (although I'll continue to live with my family), meet new people and my life is going to be completely different. I want to come out, because I want to start living my life. I want to be able to pursue a relationship if I start having feelings for a guy. I really need to be myself. But I don't think that will happen any time soon. Some members of my family wouldn't accept the fact that I like men, and that would affect not only me, but people I care about, and they have enough problems already, they can't deal with this right now. And most of my friends are always making jokes about gay people. I've never heard any supportive comment from them towards the subject. I know that if I came out, some of them would probably say that they don't care, but I know they wouldn't accept it and understand it, and that would make things weird between us, and they are the closest friends I've got. And I don't feel comfortable sharing this with them knowing what they think about it. And although we're close, we're not that close. That's probably my fault, I find it hard to trust someone. So, I don't have anyone to turn to. I don't have that really close friend I can trust everything and my family has its own problems to deal with. I can't talk about this with anyone.
If I came out, I wouldn't be ready to deal with the consequences, and I would feel guilty if someone was affected. I think it would be easier if I was living on my own and had a job, if I was independent. If I wasn't living with my family that would not affect anyone. But I'm going to college, which means I'll be living with my family for the next 6/7 years, at least. That makes me really sad. I won't be able to live my life, to be with a guy if I want to. I don't know what to do. I know you're probably going to say that I don't need to tell my parents. But if I tell someone they will end up finding out. How could I have a relationship with a guy without anyone knowing about it? And even if I could, that's not what I want. I don't want to hide it, because I'm not doing anything wrong. But I can't open up about this because that wouldn't be good for me and the people I care about.
I just don't know what to do. How will the next years of my life be? What will I do? I'm tired of constantly dealing with this and I'm tired of pretending to be someone that I'm not.
What should I do? I know you're probably tired of reading the same things all the time from the countless users that post here, but I'm really lost and I really need to talk about this.
I'm going to college this year. I'm going to study in a different city (although I'll continue to live with my family), meet new people and my life is going to be completely different. I want to come out, because I want to start living my life. I want to be able to pursue a relationship if I start having feelings for a guy. I really need to be myself. But I don't think that will happen any time soon. Some members of my family wouldn't accept the fact that I like men, and that would affect not only me, but people I care about, and they have enough problems already, they can't deal with this right now. And most of my friends are always making jokes about gay people. I've never heard any supportive comment from them towards the subject. I know that if I came out, some of them would probably say that they don't care, but I know they wouldn't accept it and understand it, and that would make things weird between us, and they are the closest friends I've got. And I don't feel comfortable sharing this with them knowing what they think about it. And although we're close, we're not that close. That's probably my fault, I find it hard to trust someone. So, I don't have anyone to turn to. I don't have that really close friend I can trust everything and my family has its own problems to deal with. I can't talk about this with anyone.
If I came out, I wouldn't be ready to deal with the consequences, and I would feel guilty if someone was affected. I think it would be easier if I was living on my own and had a job, if I was independent. If I wasn't living with my family that would not affect anyone. But I'm going to college, which means I'll be living with my family for the next 6/7 years, at least. That makes me really sad. I won't be able to live my life, to be with a guy if I want to. I don't know what to do. I know you're probably going to say that I don't need to tell my parents. But if I tell someone they will end up finding out. How could I have a relationship with a guy without anyone knowing about it? And even if I could, that's not what I want. I don't want to hide it, because I'm not doing anything wrong. But I can't open up about this because that wouldn't be good for me and the people I care about.
I just don't know what to do. How will the next years of my life be? What will I do? I'm tired of constantly dealing with this and I'm tired of pretending to be someone that I'm not.
What should I do? I know you're probably tired of reading the same things all the time from the countless users that post here, but I'm really lost and I really need to talk about this.