I've simply had too many condoms break for me to ever feel safe being with a person who is HIV positive.
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To the OP, I do think it was cold of you to start ignoring his texts and calls after he told you. I'm sure he knew this was possible when he told you and that he was risking that, but if you weren't comfortable with him having HIV, you should've just been honest and said so. There's nothing wrong with saying, "While I would love to continue talking and being friends, I can't see this progressing further." He either will or will not want that and you two can go from there. It's hard enough coming out to people as gay, I can't even imagine having to also "come out" as HIV positive. At the same time, I do feel he should've been up front about it. I probably would have asked why he was hesitant to confide in you that information previously.
With all of that being said, as a negative person, there is no circumstance where I could see myself being involved with someone who is positive. It's just not worth the risk to me and while I understand I may be risking a life full of love and bliss, medical well-being is more important to me.
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I am astounded that in the 21st century there are so many hivophobes in the gay community - you think there would be more tolerance to this issue these days - it's bad enough these people face a daily battle from homophobes without getting this added abuse from within our own community - makes me so angry!!!
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It's even less dangerous having a relationship with a man who is seropositive but who knows his serological status than with a man who doesn't know. Moreover, depending on the viral charge of the s+ guy, you can be sure in certain cases it will present no risk (when this charge is almost null). Well, I wouldn't advise to take the risk but it still bit less dangerous than with a man who is not s+ in who you have to trust about his fidelity.
Just be careful, but there's no reason to end up a relationship because of that.
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if he is undetectable, you're actually safer with this guy than any random hook up that claims to be "neg". Many discordant relationships exist of this nature, and the HIV neg partners are safe as long as their partners are in check.
HIV is no longer what people perceive it as, it isnt a death sentence and certainly not another depiction of contagion.
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Take all the necessary precautions and give him lots of love.
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If you really think he's amazing and you would like to be with him, you can. I've never had a partner with HIV, but I believe it's not very different. Just stay away from blood, should something happen and use condom when making love.
You should also consider that he probably will not have much time to live. So maybe instead thinking about HIV so much, you should think about if you want to be together with someone who will probably die sooner than you. If you fall in love with him seriously, the loss of him will hurt a lot.
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