dating sites

[Anonymous]

i feel like i have become addicted to dating sites. i live in a small town so you dont often meet many men. is meeting people over the internet that wrong then? most people say you cant be safe over the internet, that you never know who the person is going to be, but its the same in real life. if thats true and im ok going to sauans and crusing areas why do i find meeting from an internet site smutty? anway i cant really talk to my friends about this they would not understand.

advice?

[spotysocks]

A lot of people use dating and online community sites and personally i find nothing wrong with it. Even if some dont find them extremely useful and dont exactly like them, friendships and relationships even marriages have happened using internet in general. The only thing that internet lacks from the offline world imo is the face to face contact the way we know it before this trend with the online world started. People can lie easier or be whoever they want to be because you cant look at them at the eye. Always have to be careful and filter the people you want to have around you but that as you say is life , online or offline. As long as you keep your self safe is fine and you get to know people that otherwise you might never have. So dont feel too bad about it. As for being addicted to dating sites you should maybe moderate it? Find a good balance just to avoid spending all your time online and not actually interact with people around you.

[wouldlikemuscle]

The vast majority of my meets have been via the internet (like 99.9%) and internet dating is fast becoming an ever more popular way of meeting up with people for anything from NSA fun to full blown relationships... and that's for all people... gay / bi / str8 / male / female / old / young.

I think some people can be addicted... just for eg... on gaydar, you will often see the same names in the same chat rooms whenever you log in.

I think the one downside of internet dating is that it could cause us to not go out as often and meet people the traditional way.

[marshlander]

Personally I think screening people over a series of chats and e-mails is a lot safer than hanging round some filthy cottage or putting yourself at risk of strangers at a cruising ground. I've no experience of saunas. When I was looking for action I was too far in the closet to brave the sauna experience.

While I never encountered serious difficulties when I used to frequent cruising places one can become a little indiscriminate. I'm not proud to think of some of the people I went with. I think I was also quite aware of situations that tended to look less safe, so I didn't take a risk if I thought there was one. I don't think I ever met anyone in a casual encounter that I ever wanted to meet again though, although I suppose part of the intrigue was in the anticipation of not knowing what was going to happen. A couple of unexpected encounters when cruising involved guys that I either knew from, or subsequently met, in visits to schools :redface:

There will be some people who are accomplished liars and can create an identity for themselves online, but I suspect they may well be in a minority. Often the inconsistencies in a created identity will show up if you keep them chatting long enough. If I arranged to meet someone via a website, I always preferred to meet them in a café first. It was public and would give both of us the opportunity not to take things further.

One strategy I came across, which looked half-sensible (if you are going to invite someone home, I suppose), was from a man who used to almost give his address (sorry for the split infinitive, but it seemed the least clumsy option), but insisted on driving out to meet his hook-ups at a rendezvous point. He said that if he did not see someone who looked like he expected when he drove past he'd keep on driving.

This is the 21st century and the web is part of life. Make it work for you. I'm not sure why you should find using web sites particularly smutty. You still make judgements about who you want to meet. Isn't it better making those choices with the light on and your eyes open?