Keeping clean, need some advice.

[Sharo]

Hi,

I have a “problem” and really no one experienced to ask about it, so as I remembered last night I registered here I thought what the heck, maybe at least someone will get a laugh out of it if nothing else.

I realize that this is extremely silly, laugh all you want, I’m not touchy, but after you’re done laughing maybe try to offer some input? Pretty please, It really bothers me, it’s one of those nagging things that I can’t get out of my head and which distract me from real, legit problems (like how will I be able to live with the fact that boyfriend is paying half of my half of rent XD)

So on to the subject, in October I’m (hopefully) going to University and since I don’t have where to live, we’re kind of seriously considering moving in together with my boyfriend. There are two options, either me moving in with them (him and his parents, I’d have my own room then, but it’d be way awkward) or the two of us renting a tiny, one room apartment. Either way, we’d be living together, and here’s where I don’t get how sex related things work.

My concern is cleanliness, I’m somewhat of a clean freak and any kind of possible “dirty accidents” during sex are absolutely not an option, I’d probably die from as much as 1% of possibility, so I need to make sure I’m very clean and all that. Now that we live separately it’s very easy, we don’t get much occasions to be alone (I have a rule, not getting into any kind of funny business if we’re not alone for about two hours, even so we were caught twice already, watching the time stresses me out), so it’s easy to predict such times. If I’m going to his place and I know his parents are going out, or something of that sort I just proceed with thorough cleaning before leaving and am ready for whatever happens, sometimes nothing happens but I’m ready if it would. Now I can’t figure out what am I supposed to do when we’ll live together. It will be virtually impossible to guess beforehand when we might be in the mood, so what? For example we’re sitting on the couch, watching a movie, things start to heat up and I’m suddenly jumping up “wait a minute, I need to run to the bathroom for an enema”.... XD Such a mood killer. What appeals to me most in living together is the spontaneity, we won’t have to plan anymore how and when to wrench a bit of time for each other every day, in between of everyone’s busy schedules, but the sex thing kind of kills all of my excitement about that. I don’t want to kill all that spontaneity, actually planning sexual intercourses beforehand is out of question, I’d prefer to never have any at all than having to run according to a schedule. So what do I do?

I’m sure some of you live with their partners, or lived in the past, what do you do? How you’re solving that problem? Or there isn’t anyone here for whom it ever was a problem? I know I’m strange and sometimes worry about things normal people don’t even think about. I just can’t figure out anything for myself and my boyfriend is not helpful at all, he just laughs and says that it doesn’t matter anyway, I’m creating problems where there are none and I am obsessing... Of course I’m obsessing! I’m an obsessive person, I never hid that, he knew it from the start, he knew what he’s getting himself into, decided to go for me anyway and promissed to help with my obsessions, I wonder where is that promise now.

Anyway, if anyone has any kind of thoughts on that, I’d be very grateful.

Thanks for reading.

[kidchameleon]

I think as long as you make sure your "spontaneity" is at "safe" times, you should be fine. Make sure you have a regular schedule of sorts when it comes to... cleaning things... and try to make sure you feel fresh enough as often as possible - and don't have sex after eating. As far as I'm aware, as long as you've emptied your bowels and haven't eaten since, you should be pretty much safe - so if you think there's a chance just don't be snacking before hand

Afraid that's all the advice I can think of at the moment... hope it's helpful

[ardus]

Prepare to be shocked

My sheets have been stained with feces, blood, astroglide, beer, urine, semen umm can anyone think of something else?

It happens dude. It's going to happen to you if you live with your BF. If you don't accept it, you're going to have problems I guarantee it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Sex is by its very nature a messy process. As Forest Gump loudly declared, Shit happens.

So it will happen, no matter how tidy you are, how perfect you keep house - eventually its going to happen.

Now you can do a few things to reduce 'accidents' - such as check your bowel movement daily and adjust your diet to move toward the perfect BM.

Actually everyone needs to look at their own feces before flushing to get an idea of how healthy they are. http://goodworkswellness.com/what-your-p...euphemize/ is one such site that goes on about what a healthy BM should look like and how it should happen too.

If you are having healthy.... well you know... and they are on a regular basis and firm but not solid, you can pretty much train your body to eliminate at a designated hour each and every day.

Douching - Good idea, bad idea. While occasional douching can do wonders for your lower colon, the reality is that regular habit will strip out helpful flora and fauna, further adding fluid to your BM will lead to dependency on an enema in order to do your business. The rectum and lower colon automatically regulates its own moisture content, if you are constantly getting it wetter, it will cease sending fluids from your own body down there.

Assuming you are 'regular' and your feces is firm, but not too hard and not too soft, then the whole phrase 'your shit has been packed' comes into play.

Also understand that a man's penis will not reach that far up into you. Until you are about ready to go the majority of fecal matter stays in the Large Intestine, well before the rectum.



Unless your mate is a horse, you shouldn't have too many issues with fecal matter.

If you are dating a horse chances are it can reach deep enough, far enough past the rectum (typically 4.7 inches) and the sigmoid colon (15.75 inches). Then you will have problems.

[MisterTinkles]

Have sex in the shower.



Dont think you can have cleaner sex than that.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

^^^ is your shower big enough for both of us????

[pellaz]

house rules
sex is part of life and parents have to make room for this when their children and guests grow up. So actually we are talking about lack of rules. I mean it should be under stood and chances are it is ok with everyone. You have a great boy friend and great parents

reading through your stuff it sounds like you have the tools to reason through your paranoia. are you lazy or you consider it quaint you can inflict you junk into other people's lives? Whatever; sounds like you want to be the better person.

[Undreamt]

Are you actually having issues or just paranoid?

If your actually having issues and have to clean yourself that regularly then it could either be a medical issue or a diet problem.

Try increasing your fiber intake and eating healthier.

If its paranoia then its might be trickier to get over but not any less important. Try and work out what might be causing you to be so paranoid.

[Sharo]

Prepare to be shocked

My sheets have been stained with feces, blood, astroglide, beer, urine, semen umm can anyone think of something else?

It happens dude. It's going to happen to you if you live with your BF. If you don't accept it, you're going to have problems I guarantee it.

:o I am shocked XD I don't know what astroglide is but I think I don't want to google it, just in case

I learned to live with semen, because I'm too lazy to get up and putting towels underneath is so offputting, so I'm dealing with that (once even for whole 2 days, boyfriend was so proud of me XD but what's the point of changing sheets if you're going to stain them again in few hours right? Even my OCD understands that). Blood is actually okay too. I had (cat)urine on my sheets but I wasn't in bed when she pissed there and changed them immediately. Come to think of it it's all not so scary right?... RIGHT?

@MisterTinkles That is a brilliant idea! I'll probably need a stool or something but that can be arranged, boyfriend will be pleased XD

@Bowyn Aerrow Yes, unfortunately I am dating a horse (that sounded just wrong, considering that I am riding). Joking aside, yes he is loooooooong, my personal tragedy, but what can you do, I love him to bits, no one's perfect I guess so we're dealing somehow.

I am doing... I don't know how that's called in English, shallow enema? Just about a cup or so of water that doesn't go to the colon, just flushes out whatever might be left over in the rectum, I was told by my doctor that this is okay, doesn't strip me of anything and doesn't have any of the effects you've been saying about (yes I read a lot before starting sexual activity and had like thousands of questions to my doctor, it was tricky to ask them in a way he wouldn't guess what's going on, I'm afraid I failed but he acted like he had no idea XD), so I'm hoping that's true because if not, I'm screwed.

Unfortunately I do have health issues, my digestive system is all fucked up due to the illness I had few years ago, for months I was exclusively on parenteral nutrition and I guess we all know what happens to things that are unused, plus the effects of the illness itself, and things don't look good now, it's getting better with every year but far from normal, and "waste production" is quite random regardless of healthy diet and stuff, also my healthy diet (one that doesn't make me sick) is somewhat different of normal healthy diet so I guess that might be a part of the problem. Just something I have to live with but considering the circumstances it doesn't make my life easier. I guess I should have included that in my first post but I usually don't think about it, it's just life you know, can't really remember any other.

And I am paranoid also, so it's the whole package XD

Thanks guys, actually just talking about it somehow makes things seem less horrible for some reason.

[MisterLove]

I'm a Virgo and an obsessive personality as well but I think guys like us must accept that the world cannot be a perfect place. If we don't, we'll be living in a permanent state of anxiety, ruining our health and causing conflicts with others. 'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...'

As for sex, I think it's great that you are so concerned about hygiene but, again, it's no reason to become obsessed. Anal sex does require some preparation and even so, disasters may always happen. If you're worried about it, just don't do anal and try something else. Sex is much more than penetration and intimacy is much more than sex.