I've been in the same job now 10 years and last month someone at work asked me if the rumours were true about me, i asked what rumours she asked if i was gay, i denied it and for the last 4 weeks ive barely spoke to anyone.
Im generally quite a shy guy at work and keep myself to myself and dont want everyone at work knowing about my sexuality,
I have hear a lot of cheeky comments about me since i was asked, my question really is do you think i should come out or not?
Thanks
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Since you barely speak to them then I don't see a point of coming out to them...or saying anything at all to them that isn't strictly work related. Granted, you're not likely to advance that way, but if people treated me that way I'd be looking for another job anyway.
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I came out at work; took 5 minutes. than i planted a pic of my partner on my desk. it stopped all rumors cold.
Husband droops me off at work in the morning, we kiss good by and my day begins. Unable to hide. Its the law of the land, at least most parts of the UK, same sex marriage and all.
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I don't really understand why people feel so compelled to officially "come out" EVERYWHERE. What next, the movie theatre? The bowling alley? Walmart? Why does it always have to be some sort of official "thing"?
I get it, she asked you about rumors.. but I would have simply either told her the truth, or told her to mind her own business.
For me, work is work. I don't see why someones orientation is anyone's business either way.. nor' do I see why someone should feel pressured into "coming out" at the work place.
Just do your thing and be whoever you are, and do your job :p.. in my opinion.
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I've made the decision not to deny my sexuality. If I'm asked, I tell them the truth. Yes, I'm gay. It's surprisingly liberating.
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Hi Shorny
Some background leading into your question
As a young apprentice / biker / mid teens to early 20's very closeted, actually did not understand issues
As a national serviceman same as above but there was a real problem regards the authorities best not to say a word.
First "come out" Myself
Second time, in the army, post national service: - When a comment was thrown my way. "I don't do girls and I'm not into any of you" Anyone got a problem? (with a truncheon close at hand).... They backed down...
Turns out there where 7 other gay guys in my bungalow who did come out to me in private, one of which was a real flapper. He got teased mercilessly, until I stepped in and outright challenged the guys in the mess. Again "anyone got a problem"? with the truncheon very visible in my hands and 3 stripes on my arm...
Third time Previous employer: -Fait accompli
This company: Top management knew, shop floor asked the question got same answer as army. Get the occasional dig-in-the-ribs but I can back-bitch with the best and they have learned to "walk on eggs"
Result? No hiding / covered / blackmail / chucked out the blankie and am free to be myself.
Any regrets? no.
That about does it for me.
Regards work, depending on your position, blackmail is a real consideration (as is the case with me),
Regards
Trial by error
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I've never felt the need to officially come "out" at work.
Whenever there is a company event, my other half comes with me. He's listed as my partner and gets all the company benefits.
If Im ever asked directly I don't shy away from telling someone, but as a company exec, not too many people have the, em, "balls" to ask me direct to my face LoL.
Im not an advocate of arriving at a new job, and announcing my sexuality to everyone. Its no ones business except mine.
ObW
X
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