08-13-2013, 01:43 PM
Hi guys,
I'm 22 and have dated before but never really had any meaningful relationship. A few weeks ago I met this guy at a bar, went back to his house and we have really hit it off. (He's 41, I've always been attracted to older men) We text constantly and I've stayed over at his several times, just spent the whole weekend with him and I think I may be falling in love for the first time BUT my problem is that he lives with his ex-boyfriend. He says they were going out for 4 years then broke up 3 years ago and never moved out, apart from a few one-night-stands I am the first person he has been with since then, I am the first person he has brought back to the house when the ex has been there. The ex hasn't been with anyone since they broke up but has gone on a date with a long-term crush since I started seeing this guy. I have met the ex in the house and have got on with him, he seems like a nice guy though with obvious emotional issues. I do believe that they are just platonic but for example the guy only invited me to spend the weekend with him because the ex wasn't going to be there, he asks the ex's permission before he asks me to stay over and then yesterday he was supposed to come see me off at the bus but stayed in the house instead because the ex's mother had gone into hospital and the ex and the ex's mother were coming to the house and he felt obliged to stay to play host to them. On Friday he met me in town as opposed to my coming out to his house straight away as the ex was still there at that stage. They are renting their house so they are choosing to stay living together, he says he would rather live with the ex as a friend than move in with a stranger. I have so little experience with relationships and think I am being blinded by the powerful emotions I am feeling for this man so would really appreciate an outsider's opinion on all this. Is this a situation I want to be getting involved in? I suppose really I need to talk to the guy himself about it.
I'm 22 and have dated before but never really had any meaningful relationship. A few weeks ago I met this guy at a bar, went back to his house and we have really hit it off. (He's 41, I've always been attracted to older men) We text constantly and I've stayed over at his several times, just spent the whole weekend with him and I think I may be falling in love for the first time BUT my problem is that he lives with his ex-boyfriend. He says they were going out for 4 years then broke up 3 years ago and never moved out, apart from a few one-night-stands I am the first person he has been with since then, I am the first person he has brought back to the house when the ex has been there. The ex hasn't been with anyone since they broke up but has gone on a date with a long-term crush since I started seeing this guy. I have met the ex in the house and have got on with him, he seems like a nice guy though with obvious emotional issues. I do believe that they are just platonic but for example the guy only invited me to spend the weekend with him because the ex wasn't going to be there, he asks the ex's permission before he asks me to stay over and then yesterday he was supposed to come see me off at the bus but stayed in the house instead because the ex's mother had gone into hospital and the ex and the ex's mother were coming to the house and he felt obliged to stay to play host to them. On Friday he met me in town as opposed to my coming out to his house straight away as the ex was still there at that stage. They are renting their house so they are choosing to stay living together, he says he would rather live with the ex as a friend than move in with a stranger. I have so little experience with relationships and think I am being blinded by the powerful emotions I am feeling for this man so would really appreciate an outsider's opinion on all this. Is this a situation I want to be getting involved in? I suppose really I need to talk to the guy himself about it.