Getting Over attached to people/Is he interested?

[Anon127]

I met a lovely and handsome man while I was on holiday (he was from and lived in the place I was on holiday), I am 34 and he was 23. we met first time at a creative event and got on well so went on a date two days later, as he sent me two emails repeating that he loved meeting me and really wanted to meet with me.
He was so flirtatious when we met up, constantly telling me how amazing and handsome I was and how he was scared to ever lose me and was more intense than myself. He desperately wanted to stay over at mine.
During the first date we had sex with each other. Afterwards we still got on well, but he stated that he no longer wanted to stay over, It was here that I told him I was Bisexual (He is Homosexual).
We met up with each other for almost the entire of the following two days of my holiday. We did not have sex together again on these occasions but would hug/hold hands/kiss some of the time and generally get on well.
On the second day he kept telling me I was cute and lovely and he cancelled a meeting with his friends so we could be together that evening.Again he stated that he will be so hurt to lose me.
On the evening of the final day I had to leave to go home as I live and work in a different country many miles away so we said our goodbyes. On this day he was still lovely but less enthusiastic stating that 'I would probably be better to visit with my friends next time' and 'not to rush back too quickly', and when I thanked him for generosity as he showed me round and voluntarily paid for stuff he would say curtly 'I am like this with everyone'. Initiated by him he took two polaroid photos of us as he said he wanted us both to remember each other (but then asked me if I want them both!) We said our goodbyes and hugged lots
. I emailed him at the airport and he responded saying he would like to keep in touch and it was so happy meeting me as well. We have emailed three times but the correspondence has been mostly formal and superficial and unflirtatious (the first one over a week after we last saw one another). However, I have initiated almost every correspondance, and he has returned my emails (sometimes very late on) implying that rightly so he has probably moved on with his life and forgotten about me as this was a very short occurance in both our lives.
We had not had any contact for over a week but yesterday he sent me a photo of a landscape scene of the place we went for on our first date before we had sex with each other. I have not seen this man for 3 weeks but I still cannot stop thinking about him and completely feel heartbroken that it has had to end and pretty much think about and obsess about him all the time. Obviously a long distance relationship would be a bit impractical . However, we have never discussed this. I feel really pathetic considering I only was involved with him for three days yet I still completely feel heartbroken and miss him so much.
He stated that he shows foreign friends around a lot in his home town. I have had very few same sex dalliances and I am very confused by the whole hot/cold mixed messages nature of this whole matter. Is this normal? Bizarrly a few days ago he emailed me stating I am now the subject of one of his pieces (he's an artist). Was he maybe using me as a cheap form of advertising? Advice welcome

[LateBloomer]

This is the risk and nature of meeting people while on holiday.

You might just have hot anonymous sex...
Or you might just fall in love (well, at least infatuation).

But that's one issue.

The other issue is he's very young and, it seems, a habitual tour guide. I wonder how much money you shelled out (food, drinks, activities, GIFTS?).

Sorry for the cynicism, but I see a lot of young guys (NOT ALL) gladly accept the benefits of "dating" a stranger in town all the while playing the fawning paramour....

...see what I'm saying...?

He fools HIMSELF and YOU by going through the motions of "dating" but in reality he knows you're leaving and will eventually be forgotten about.

One day, you will forget about him.

[Anon127]

Thanks for advice. However we mostly paid our own way.Went dutch.
He actually paid for my meals etc a couple of times at his
insistance. I paid his way once. Sorry I should have mentioned this. Perhaps it makes no difference to wwhat you are saying though.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

1. Paragraphs are our friends. They help to separate ideas and make for reading a wall of text easier.

2. This is not the Psychic Network. Now I guess I can try to do a tarot reading over the internet - or perhaps tea leaves - I am thirsty.


It always makes me wonder what goes through people's heads when they ask "What is he thinking?" wanting us to decifer from their tiny story how some fella ticks and what he is thinking.

I assure you, as blind and deaf as you are to his thoughts, we are even more so.

If you want to know what is going on in the head of another person, you need to ask them.

So go, ask him what is going on, what is the plan, what is the potential future, how he feels, if he is gay does he prefer creamer or milk? all of these questions (and many more) he and only he can answer.

The very best we can do is 'guess'.

[Anon127]

Thanks. I accept what you are saying. However I am not asking
People to guess per se, but as a bisexual male with mostly
experience with women not men I was wondering if such a situation
seemed common as it may have perhaps happened to others and
if so how it was dealt with. Of course it is impossible to decipher someone roses thoughts but certain evidence does lend itself to analysis and support and it is a forum for support. I appreciate you may find the lack of paragraphs annoying but I find the tone you use to be a bit abrasive but perhaps it is just my interpretation. Thanks again and I appreciate your input all the same.

[LateBloomer]

Thanks. I accept what you are saying. However I am not asking
People to guess per se, but as a bisexual male with mostly
experience with women not men I was wondering if such a situation
seemed common as it may have perhaps happened to others and
if so how it was dealt with. Of course it is impossible to decipher someone roses thoughts but certain evidence does lend itself to analysis and support and it is a forum for support. I appreciate you may find the lack of paragraphs annoying but I find the tone you use to be a bit abrasive but perhaps it is just my interpretation. Thanks again and I appreciate your input all the same.

Quickly...

Yes. It happens. I travel for work. I see this happen quite often. It's usually quite risky to grow close to a local while on vacation. How two adults handle the risks is up to them. Everyone is different. And I realize that's not much help to you. But as a responsible adult you should have anticipated such complications when you decided to go down this road.

You sound very rational. But matters of the heart are never rational.
Good luck.

[Anon127]

Thanks for the good advice latebloomer. I have
as a consequence decided to let it go. I am not bitter
at all towards the chap I dated but your insight has made me
realise that
1. He is very young so he is just passing the time
2. He probably does this sort of thing alot with many visitors and
although not a user in the material sense possibly one in the emotional
sense and he uses people to highten his self esteem. I have noticed about two
or 3 new foreign guys become his freinds on facebook each week.
So painful as it is I will let go. Thanks for the informed advice x

[Dan1980]

I am sorry that this has happened. Maybe In his eyes it was a holiday romance. Email and ask him would you like to meet up. He can only say yes or no. Good luck.