A better fit
08-16-2013, 09:11 PM
Hi everyone! I'm glad to be here, and feel free to read on if you're bored.
This is my first time posting on a gay forum, and although I'm not completely new to gay experiences, I'm still quite bewildered. Yes, I'm one of those who has tried very hard to be hetero for most of his life, and is finally discovering that it wasn't a good fit. To make a short story long, I first noticed being turned on by the occasional guy when I was in my 20s, but didn't really think much of it. At that time, I was so socially awkward that I had a difficult enough time even approaching a woman, much less a man, and as a result I never made the slightest attempt to do anything about it. Sweeping it under the rug seemed much more convenient. Eventually, in light of my failures to secure a girlfriend in those years, I wound up experimenting when I got to be 30-ish. Unfortunately, I had a ridiculous level of anxiety about it, which pretty much ruined the whole experience, and I concluded from this that I couldn't really be gay after all. Back to more straight dating, back to more breakups. Was there something about me that was putting these women off? I've always been masculine. I started working with various relationship coaches on how to be more relaxed, and that helped me feel better, but the sparks still never flew.
Recently, it occurred to me that, as long as I've become so much more relaxed dating women, I'd probably be more relaxed about dating men now, too. I figured I had nothing to lose. Well, it turned out that I was right. I went online, and I've started to meet some amazingly simpatico guys. (It's nice to be in a socially liberal part of the world that has a sizable gay community.) So yeah, I'm a late bloomer with a lot to learn, but at least I feel more optimistic now.
Looking forward to conversing with anyone who's got some words of wisdom for me.
This is my first time posting on a gay forum, and although I'm not completely new to gay experiences, I'm still quite bewildered. Yes, I'm one of those who has tried very hard to be hetero for most of his life, and is finally discovering that it wasn't a good fit. To make a short story long, I first noticed being turned on by the occasional guy when I was in my 20s, but didn't really think much of it. At that time, I was so socially awkward that I had a difficult enough time even approaching a woman, much less a man, and as a result I never made the slightest attempt to do anything about it. Sweeping it under the rug seemed much more convenient. Eventually, in light of my failures to secure a girlfriend in those years, I wound up experimenting when I got to be 30-ish. Unfortunately, I had a ridiculous level of anxiety about it, which pretty much ruined the whole experience, and I concluded from this that I couldn't really be gay after all. Back to more straight dating, back to more breakups. Was there something about me that was putting these women off? I've always been masculine. I started working with various relationship coaches on how to be more relaxed, and that helped me feel better, but the sparks still never flew.
Recently, it occurred to me that, as long as I've become so much more relaxed dating women, I'd probably be more relaxed about dating men now, too. I figured I had nothing to lose. Well, it turned out that I was right. I went online, and I've started to meet some amazingly simpatico guys. (It's nice to be in a socially liberal part of the world that has a sizable gay community.) So yeah, I'm a late bloomer with a lot to learn, but at least I feel more optimistic now.
Looking forward to conversing with anyone who's got some words of wisdom for me.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
Scorpio
