What are your guys thoughts on open relationships? I know it's common in the gay world and I have always been opposed. I know some couple that are completely open and others that only play together every now and then. Not sure how I feel about it. Just curious to know what you guys think or if any of you have experience.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Postpone your marriage until you clear things up. There is no such thing as one partner is open and the other partner is monogamous. You describe yourself to us as monogamous. You better set him straight or you will be involved in a nasty gay divorce. Give gay guys a break and let the public see some happy married gay guys who love each other.
If not, continue to cruise until you meet the right guy, Quote but afterwards I felt violated. You are not ready to marry. Take some time and talk it out.
Good luck
•
Open relationships are not for everyone but that doesn't mean that they can't work, it is important to have open and honest conversations about them.
I was in a monogamous relationship for almost 6 years before we had a conversation about becoming open, I was never really for the idea and I always thought that I would be monogamous regardless of what my partner did/wanted but I can honestly say that it saved our relationship.
My first experience of an open relationship was kind of similar to yours, except it was at an underware party at a bar and things went a bit further than I was expecting at the time. It took me a while to think about what it all ment.
I'm happy to discuss further if you wanted to message me if the forum is too public.
•
An open relationship usually means open on both sides. How would you feel about being married yet both of you still sleeping around? While it may start off with (reasonably) good intentions, human nature (i.e. feelings, jealousy etc.) usually get in the way between the married partners.
If you see an open relationship as a way of saving the relationship (before your even married) then my view is that the whole marriage thing is wrong for both of you, at least at this stage in the relationship.
Let me ask one question?
Why do you want to get married?
ObW
X
•
I'll say this. When we first got into a relationship, we had a candid discussion that if at any point later on in our relationship we felt that it was stagnant sexually and either of us was bored would we be open to trying new things like letting another couple watch or a threesome so on and so forth. We both say we would consider it at the time that ever happened. I do want to clear up that at no time do we ever want to be open to the point that we both are free to do whatever we want with whoever we want. When I mean open I'm referring to single random times maybe like once or twice a year, together, just trying something different. Never separate, never alone. When it happened for the first time this weekend, I did feel violated but I guess that can be expected because it was my first time ever doing anything like that. Aside from all that, our relationship is great, we're best friends, we can't be apart. Our sex life is the only thing that doesn't work perfectly because we are challenged with size, pain, etc so in that regard we need to find a way to make that work and satisfying for both of us. Hope that clears a lot of the misconception up. We are not two irresponsible sluts who are stereotype of the gays we see on TV. We really do have a loving relationship and want to spend the rest of our lives together and happy. Does this make sense?
•
Just want to clear up some misconceptions...we are a loving couple. We both love each other very much. We are best friends, confidants, and every aspect of our relationship is good. This was a one time unexpected thing but it doesn't represent who we are. We do not represent the typical stereotype. When I refer to open relationship, its not one where either of us would be open to allowing each other to go around doing whoever, whenever we wanted to. We both talked about the concept when we were 3 months into our relationship and said if we ever got to the point where we felt stagnant or bored with our sex life, we would be open to the idea of trying new things to spice it up. Under no circumstances would it be a free for all. At most, we would play together or watch but it would only be a rare random occurrence, not a regular thing. He is a great guy and I may have described him in the negative light in this situation but it's not as bad as it sounds. Hope this clarifies what I'm trying to say
•
