So my partner and I are getting married next year. We are monogamous and have been for a year and a half but we like to be watched at times. We have never played or allowed others to touch. Last night changed all that. We were on a getaway to a male resort at we're in the jacuzzi with two other guys. We were all drunk and me and my fiancé started to play around with each other. I was hard and he started to give me head but suddenly stopped and told the other guy to give me head. I resisted at first and was very uncomfortable but after him getting more forceful with it I gave in. Both other guys ended up giving me head with my fiancé. I'm not going to lie and say it didnt feel great but afterwards I felt violated and feel like we put our engagement in jeopardy. My fiancé got upset when I told him it bothered me and acted like nothing happened. I don't know what to do. I don't want an open relationship but I think that's what he wants but won't come out and say it. Advice?
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dont get caught up with "being engaged", get un-engaged if it is going the wrong way that you would not feel comfortable for the rest of your life. Since you dont want to just come right out and say it, thought i would.
Talk to him about an open relationship. Dont let him side track the conversation, you threaten to toss him + his ring to the curb. Every couple is different and there is no reason why you shouldn't end up in a loving confidant situation. Dont wast your life if its not working right now.
divorce is expen$ive.
this is an important decision you are making, your life is worth more and it is REALLY serious.
hmmm... welcome to gaySpeak
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If you were uncomfortable with it drunk or not you should of said no. No one has the right to be forcefully with you. If he's acting like it didn't bother him you should put the engagement on hold and disscus what happened and talk about an open relationship. I can't see a marragie working if you let other people watch. I hope it all works out for you guys.
An eye for an eye
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Your monogamous, but you went to an all male gay resort and got in the hot tub naked with a couple of other guys?
Is it me?
What exactly did you expect to happen when you agreed to going to such a place, then getting naked in the tub with other guys? Duh....
You guys need to agree on just what kind of relationship you want, before you agree on tying the knot! If you don't like it, time to speak up now, instead of just sitting back and going with the flow...
ObW
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If you're uncomfortable with the way you're relationship is standing at the moment, you guys really need to sit down and talk. Talking and communicating is the best way to a good relationship afterall.
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All good advice. I'm not at all putting it on him. I do take my share of responsibility as well. We did talk today. I don't want an open relationship and made that clear. He feels the same but said he wouldn't be opposed to trying new things to spice up our sex life every now and then. Never alone. He's a bottom but it's very painful for him because of my size so to avoid the whole production sometimes it can cause, we stick to just head. But that can be very boring sometimes and monotonous so I know where's he's coming from with that. It was just something I have never experienced before so I freaked out but not sure where to go from here.
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LA can mean Louisiana or Los Angeles. I personally take it to mean Louisiana so you might want to clarify
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It did ask for city right? Hence LA
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Drunk or not, I wouldnt be naked with strangers.
Drunk or not, I wouldnt be in a place like that.
Drunk or not, I wouldnt let somebody else force me to do something like that.
You let it happen, so its your guilt you are having to deal with.
This guy sounds dangerous, like he's waiting to get his claws into you for some reason.
That incident would have had me running from the hot tub to the room, getting dressed and leaving.
If he feels he can do that to you now.....he wont be giving you any choice once you get married.
Marriage is overrated anyway,
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