So I really don't have very many gay friends. Actually, there's only one gay guy I know and it's difficult for me to even call him a friend. We just did a science project together once and added each other on Facebook and that's it... So I wanted to ask you guys and gals this instead. Can you be TOO gay?
I hear from some straight people that some gay people hate the gay community because they perpetuate gay stereotypes that make straight people so homophobic in the first place. I actually remember in my college sexuality class, this girl mentioned a guy on campus who's very, very "in your face gay", and a lot of other gay people on campus hate him for it because I guess he makes them look bad. And I'm not sure if it's completely true, but she also said they beat up on him as well. I actually saw this guy and...yeah, he sure stands out. He wears make up, talks in an extremely feminine manner, makes a lot of sexual innuendos, and walks with a hip shake so exaggerated that most of the girls don't even walk like that. When you see him, the first thing that comes to mind is "GAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!" But the thing is. I always thought the gay community was all about being yourself and making no apologies. So while it makes sense that they wouldn't like a gay that's literally a walking stereotype, it still kind of surprised me that they'd want to keep one of their own down.
I don't know how valid her information was, but what do you guys think? Is there a limit to how one should act in public or should they be allowed to express themselves no matter how gay?
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Are you too gay if you
1.Enjoy looking at bulges in mens jean or swim trunks and your mouth begins to water.
2.Enjoy sucking your man off and swallowing every drop of his load and want more
3.Enjoy getting rimmed and a fantastic prostate orgasm and have your man fill you with a load and collapse into a nice rest with his dick still in you and his balls resting on your ass.
4.Enjoy a good facial upon request
If that makes you too gay YIPEE for me.
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I don't tell other gays to keep it down...being a masculine gay myself, I never cared for the 'really gay' type. I mean yeah it's kinda annoying but it's their life and I feel like just because we don't appreciate it doesn't mean they have to stop. I mean it happens all the time , and while just because you don't like the way someone express themselves, they shouldn't have to stop just simply because you don't like it. Does it make sense?
What I'm trying to say is that , yes, it's annoying sometimes, but I feel like it shouldn't stop them from expressing themselves because they're just being who they are and they should have the right to do that.
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I personally consider sexual and gender orientation 2 completely different things. At least some crossdressers are straight, just as plenty of tomboyish women are. A great many gay men are ordinary men who are attracted to men instead of women. And when attracted to men then they're not likely to be attracted to men who work hard to appear feminine (though not everyone cares, just as straights can be attracted to someone of the opposite gender who defies gender stereotypes).
That gay men are acting like Russian skinheads in attacking feminine gay men saddens me deeply, but I like to think it's rare (but by the way, there ARE gay skinheads who consider white gay men the highest form of life and Jewish lesbians the lowest and basically hold women/femininity in contempt even more than the straight skinheads).
But I have noticed some people like to raise themselves up by attacking someone else. For example, plenty of gay bashers turn out to be adulterers and even child molesters (and I read of one guy upset for having been convicted of screwing a stallion, he insisted, "She was mare, I may screw horses but I'm NOT gay!"). Plenty of exotic dancers love to look down on prostitutes. Many racists try to make themselves feel better by looking down on the KKK, and I could go on. The point being if they feel ashamed of being gay they may turn on someone especially effeminate (gay or otherwise) to show themselves that they're better than someone else (which is as messed up to me as people proving their "superior morality" with violent intolerance).
Or it could be a boy code thing. Men aren't supposed to defy gender roles and it's like femininity is some great disease and dishonor they can't let themselves catch by showing any kind of sensitivity or even being a metrosexual or other fop (entertainers, as always, get a pass), and many will assert their own masculinity by hostility to those who violate this code.
Again, I hope this isn't too common...but one thing I've learned on GS is that a lot of gay men really don't like the queens and such (though strangely the ones outright hostile to them think "nearly all gay men are feminine" as if they're as blind to the gay world as many straights!).
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What I would like to know is why, just because some gay guys aren't "Too Gay", that they feel they can pass any sort of judgement on someone who is, especially when they aren't that person. 
Like seriously, grow the fuck up(not you guys, but it annoys me). 
It's not like I go around saying "Oh that guy over there isn't Gay enough, he's wearing plaid and argyle and his hair's so not done and gurl! He just a mess!":crying-and-sorry-li
But that's you and who am I to say anything? I'm definitely not you or even in your shoes, let alone the same shoe size! Hellooo...
These "macho"/"average" or "regular" gay guys need to grow up and get over it. You know who you are? Right, well fuck everybody and their umbrella toting nanny in the ass with said umbrella, because at the end of the day, it's how you view yourself, not others.
So if I wanna walk down the street with Pig Tails and a crotch hugging mini-skirt, and some fab make up, then who gives a fuck, cause I obviously don't if I go out like that, so why should you and who then gives you the right to tell me I'm wrong or that I am "Too Gay", excuse you? You musta lost your cheap ass weave!
And also, if you're saying gays like him and myself somewhat are "Too Gay", what you're really saying is that Being Gay is an Act or even Standard and that everyone is either "regular" or is acting way too much and then what does that say of you?
I swear my Momma was right when she said "If someone says bad things about you, they either Like you, arr Intimidated of you or are Jealous of you" so which is it hmm? Perhaps all three? That would explain it.... 
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I met my husband while hanging out with several feminine gay guys. If it wasn't for my feminine friends, I wouldn't have found my "Better Half".
Don't ever be embarrassed about hanging out or being friends with the more feminine gays,,,,, cause they may be the key to your future - which it was in my case.
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Yes Jimmy Hunni, we make the gay world go round! 
J/k...
But I'm not 
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TonyAndonuts Wrote:I hear from some straight people that some gay people hate the gay community because they perpetuate gay stereotypes that make straight people so homophobic in the first place. And in my opinion those gay people are just as homophobic as the straight homophobes.
By "too gay" I assume you mean too flamboyant, in which case I do not think that one can be "too gay". I live my life as I see fit, and while I may not be an ultra-flamboyant gay man I am an extremely open, married, lesbian. I couldn't care less if some homophobe is uncomfortable in my presence (or in the presence of my butch wife or my extremely flamboyant best friend). I, and every other gay person regardless of whether they're men who choose to wear make-up & swish their hips, very butch lesbians, or people who "pass" as being straight have the right to express ourselves as WE see fit, we do not have to live within the confines that are set by heteronormative society unless that is what we choose for ourselves. The concept of someone being "too gay" pisses me off to no end, I wish that people would simply accept others for who they are and how they choose to live their lives, not try to force them into a tiny box so that the straights will be comfortable.
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We get these threads every so often.
No, you cannot be "TOO gay." Why? Because gay doesn't mean one thing, or even one particular set of stereotypes. As this board (if nothing else) shows the term "gay" encompasses a wide variety of people. You, sir, define the term gay just as much as anyone who you perceive expresses an exorbitant amount of stereotypical "gay" behavior.
And as far as all that stereotypical stuff goes...
I agree with Sylph. There's a lot of fem bashing that goes on here and it is absolutely ridiculous. Those guys have the biggest balls of all, and it never fails to astound me when I see a "masculine" gay man talk about how disgusted he his about fem guys. You (I am addressing the hypothetical gay man who identifies masculine and who is a fem basher) should be kissing the ground they walk on. It's the flamboyant gay men who had to courage to be themselves, out loud and proud, back when it was truly dangerous to be a homosexual man, while the masculine, hetero complying men were marrying women and cruising in the parks when they told their wives they were playing poker with the boys, and it was the loud, bright flamers who brought the discussion of gay rights to the public forum.
If for no other reason, "masculine" gay men should be welcoming and considerate to "fem" men out of a simple sense of compassion. You KNOW it's not easy to be gay, even today. You have first hand experience. How could you even think of excluding or ridiculing another gay person for being who they want to be, who they are. And who the fuck are these people that you want to please so badly? These people who look at "fem" men and judge the whole community based on them. Fuck them too, they don't matter. They don't matter enough for anyone to give a shit about what they think.
Live and let live... for fuck's sake.
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