Can you be TOO gay?

[pellaz]

just saying if a too straight is possible the opposite must happen too

[Pix]

Anyone heard of paper bag tests and the like? It's basically where many blacks in America thought you could be "too black" and it was preferred to be a lighter shade, have hair more like a white person, etc, and they discriminated against each other based on that, and though much rarer today at least a few still do to this day. In shorty they internalized bigotry and turned on each other.

I see gay men who discriminate against someone being "too gay" in exactly the same way, as people who have internalized the bigotry that affects us all and inspires them to join our tormentors against others in our community, as if that would somehow put them above being a victim of the same bigots, but it doesn't work that way. 'Course I don't think they think about it, it's more subconscious on their part. If people actually thought about it then they wouldn't do it.

[MisterTinkles]

You CAN be TOO GAY if you are talking about stereotypes.
There are some who proudly act like stupid faggots out in public, which really pisses me off.

Im one of those people who believe the overly stereotyped fags who have to "act up" in public, do so because they hate themselves for some reason. So they have to bring everybody else down with them.
They just cant be themselves, so they have to be big ole freeking faggoty queers. And of course, THESE are the people that the media follows around....not anyone decent and human.

I understand that a guy can be naturally effeminate or a woman can be naturally masculine, but Im talking about those people who WORK at it!!

[justbry87]

You CAN be TOO GAY if you are talking about stereotypes.
There are some who proudly act like stupid faggots out in public, which really pisses me off.

Im one of those people who believe the overly stereotyped fags who have to "act up" in public, do so because they hate themselves for some reason. So they have to bring everybody else down with them.
They just cant be themselves, so they have to be big ole freeking faggoty queers. And of course, THESE are the people that the media follows around....not anyone decent and human.

I understand that a guy can be naturally effeminate or a woman can be naturally masculine, but Im talking about those people who WORK at it!!

Makes sense,

I know of someone who has a shitty home life and cannot fully
express himself at home cause his parents are not really that accepting
of him.

So when he's out of the house, he always has to act so over the top,
and do all the things you just described. But I have a feeling that this
can apply to not just being gay, but with just people in general though.. right?

[MisterTinkles]

Makes sense,

I know of someone who has a shitty home life and cannot fully
express himself at home cause his parents are not really that accepting
of him.

So when he's out of the house, he always has to act so over the top,
and do all the things you just described. But I have a feeling that this
can apply to not just being gay, but with just people in general though.. right?

Yes, it can be applied to "macho" guys, "slutty" girls, and anybody who thinks they have to act like a retarded moron out in public.

[Juvenal]

MisterTinkles]You CAN be TOO GAY if you are talking about stereotypes.
There are some who proudly act like stupid faggots out in public, which really pisses me off.

Im one of those people who believe the overly stereotyped fags who have to "act up" in public, do so because they hate themselves for some reason. So they have to bring everybody else down with them.
They just cant be themselves, so they have to be big ole freeking faggoty queers. And of course, THESE are the people that the media follows around....not anyone decent and human.

I understand that a guy can be naturally effeminate or a woman can be naturally masculine, but Im talking about those people who WORK at it!!

Um, well to be honest I think you are projecting your own self-hatred issues onto these so-called "overly stereotyped fags" if you really are so 'pissed off' by their existence. They aren't the ones who have the self-hatred issues, nor are they the ones who want to bring everyone else down. It's the femme-bashers who are jealous of how free and confident the femme-types are in themselves, and thus feel the need to tear them down like this.

Individuals should feel free to be themselves, to be who they are. And the person who decides whether a gay guy is being himself, IS himself. You don't have the right to judge someone and tell them that you think they are acting or faking it, or call them "stupid faggots".

Implying that femme gay guys are somehow not "decent" or even "human"? C'mon man, that's offensive, let the hatred go.

[Shiner]

Nah, I don't think it's possible to be "TOO gay". The haters will hate no matter what, we shouldn't be judging our own fellow gays as being too "femme" just because we're worried about what bigots will think of us. If straight people are going to stereotype all gays based on the actions of a few, than that's their problem.

A few weeks ago I met a guy on an app, we seemed to connect well and we were talking constantly for about a week about all different things, and we were making plans to meet up. He kept asking me for pictures, and I would send them. Apparently the last picture I sent to him triggered something in his mind and he completely changed his attitude suddenly, he got kinda hostile and started questioning me about whether I was feminine in any way (like voice or mannerism), because, he said, "I'm not into that type at all". I said no, I don't think I act too stereotypical in voice or mannerism, but we shouldn't judge people for being who they are....he didn't respond and we never spoke again.

I think it's really unfortunate how even gays have internalized societal homophobia to such an extent and have such hostility toward their fellow gays for not being 'masc' enough.

That scenario is different.

I know a few really femme, and damn flaming guys that are absolutely awesome, and should never change.

In regards to being too gay, I am saying yes to the guys that take the stereotype and run with it. There is no problem in relaxing and being who you are, if that means gesturing a lot with your hands and talking in a natual voice that might be higher than normal who cares, life is life.

But when it comes to running with stereotypes and overtly pushing the point, to seemingly invoke a reaction in other people I will easily put my hand up and say that is too gay.

Once again, different views and I'm sure to receive haters on my opinion as well (but then again, opinions are like arseholes. right?)

[Shiner]

You CAN be TOO GAY if you are talking about stereotypes.
There are some who proudly act like stupid faggots out in public, which really pisses me off.

Im one of those people who believe the overly stereotyped fags who have to "act up" in public, do so because they hate themselves for some reason. So they have to bring everybody else down with them.
They just cant be themselves, so they have to be big ole freeking faggoty queers. And of course, THESE are the people that the media follows around....not anyone decent and human.

I understand that a guy can be naturally effeminate or a woman can be naturally masculine, but Im talking about those people who WORK at it!!

Pretty much how I mean, and what I feel... but I didn't have the bollocks to actually say it.

[NerdyGiant23]

There is no such thing as "too gay". How an individual acts in everyday social settings does not define their sexuality. I've known guys who have feminine voices and certain feminine-esque qualities in how they move their hands and walk, that aren't gay (some are even married and have kids). Plus the qualities of feminine and masculine are socially derived qualities, they are not facts of nature. A guy can be more "feminine" or a woman can be more "masculine" and it doesn't mean that they are gay, lesbian, bi, and so on.

[tavi]

I think SOMETIMES that the very effeminite gay has just at some point opened up "no pun" and decided there not going to look back, to embrace themselves and not give a damn what anyone thinks or says, then you get the guy whos spent most of his life repressing, hanging around in ultra-masculine circles, playing a different part in there life to who they really are, they want to go LEFT but always go right, so when they see a guy walking left, holding banners and waving flags they feel contempt, envy, hate!

Of course you dont have to be that way to be openly gay, its just you dont notice them because they act no different from you, even repressing many factors.of there personality. Ie big keith goes home after a long day at the factory and slips into his favourite dress (you will never know it

"I wanted to be soft & delicate, you made me coarse"

thats a lyric in a block party song, the lead singer is an english black guy, not camp.