Boyfriend's a minor and lied to me about his age. What to do?

[Anonymous]

I will not reveal my name, but I would like to have some advice about my situation. I’m a gay man in my late twenties and I’ve total mess going on in my life right now. I’ve been dating a guy for about half a year. When we met, he said that he’s 20 and I was kind of confused. Usually I don’t date so young guys, but he was so intelligent, cute and sweet that I fell for him almost immediately. We had wonderful relationships for several months. He made me feel incredibly good, I have never felt so beautiful with any other guy.

But then suddenly his mother started to kind of stalk us. It seemed strange to me and he said that she’s just not ok with him being gay. We avoided her as much as we could until one day she ran into us and accused me of seducing an underage. Then it turned out that my boyfriend is just 16 years old. I was shocked, really shocked. I couldn’t believe it, it turned my life upside down.

I haven’t really talked to him after that. It has been almost a month already. He kind of explained me why he did it. He wanted to make love with me and he didn’t want to wait. And that’s one of the worst things – we really had sex and not just once. Because I never had any doubts about his age, he doesn't look like he's 16. I would have never touched him if I would have known he’s underage. His mother warned me that she’ll involve the police if I’ll approach her son again. He's searching every possibility to meet me. Every day he waits for me next to the place where I work, he comes to my place almost every evening and asks for forgiveness, he cries and tells me he cannot live without me, but I cannot forgive him. He has been lying to me more than 6 months. How? You can lie about lots of things, but how can you be so stupid to lie about your age?

[Geminize]

That really sucks. I think you are doing the right thing by avoiding all contact with the youngster. How could he lie about his age? EASY! He's a boy, and doesn't understand the possible consequences of his actions. If he can't live without you he can damn well wait a couple years until he is not putting you at risk. That's IF you can forgive and trust him.

Hopefully his mother will be satisfied that you have cut off contact, otherwise you could be in serious legal trouble. You didn't mention what country you live in: laws vary about legal age and difference in ages between partners when a minor is involved. You need to treat both him and his mother with delicate respect if you have any contact with them. The last thing you want is to upset either of them further.

Good luck. You're doing the right thing.

[southbiochem]

Whether you forgive him or not, at this point is irrelevant. You are exercizing very good common sense by staying away, c'mon it's legal issues we're discussing here.

He can damn well wait till he's 18 or whatever

Does by any chance the guy's mom know that you had no clue? If she's threatening you with the police and the guy really "can't live without you" surely he oughta told her that.

[Pix]

If he won't stop stalking you then maybe you should have another talk with his mom, especially as she'll probably believe you're leading him on somehow (and he'll probably say that to get out of trouble if she catches him before you report him).

[MisterTinkles]

Had a friend some years back that was in sort of the same predicament.

He didnt get out of it though. This slut/whore little skank was 14 years old and seduced my friend who was about 24 at that time. This little slut/whore went to his parents and told them all about it. Of course my friend was framed and railroaded into jail for 5 years.

You may have an "out" though. If you live in the USA, some states "legal" ages are 16 years old. So you may want to look that up in the law books.

I would definitely just stay away from this one. He's bad news. Apparently he cant be bothered to consider that you can spend jail time for this...all he wants is what HE wants.....no consideration or thought for you.

Just dump him, and get on with your life.

[Kenny221]

Obviously he's not intelligent enough if his excuse was that he wanted to have sex with you and didn't want to wait...I think it's wise to cut-off contact with the kid. If I was in his situation, I might've lied about my age initially(I'm not saying it's okay to do it ) but if I thought the relationship was gonna go somewhere, I would've confessed right away...but I think it's rather hard to lie about your age for half a year though....wouldn't you realize that maybe he has a high-school schedule? or etc?