It's called love, and it hurts.
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A little update:
I have not messaged him since Monday night, I texted him to let him know that I was sorry etc... and it has felt so good to have some self-control for once.
The problem is that my mind every now and then thinks of texting him, asking him hows it going, to try to strike a conversation. I need to move on for now and I know I have to, but another part of me is saying to go ahead and try to message him. I know that is not the road I want to go down. I keep telling myself to try no contact for at least 1-2 weeks, and then see how I feel. I know he needs time to heal after what I put him through, and I need to forgive myself and move on.
Moving on... is really hard.
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I bet it's hard after that much time...but by stopping this behavior, you're doing what's right for him and for yourself, for your own mental and emotional health...and you're doing it very well..don't give up and good luck!
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It's not easy is it? Trying to get over an ex I mean. I am the same with my ex. I am considerably better than I was a few months ago immediately after we split and time does heal if you're prepared and willing to give moving forward your best but its still tricky I know. I still pine for my ex a little but I am better than I was before. I even did stupid things like one night when i couldn't sleep I texted him saying something like 'I wish you were here with me' which made me sound really clingy and needy which I was. I still miss him a lot but I am getting there. I've even dated other guys.
Which is part of the problem. So many of the guys I've met have been total disappointments. One in particular was a total douchebag and immature to boot. And I can't help but compare them to my ex who is quite a nice guy and realise that tbf they aren't as good as he is... I shouldn't compare and constrast blokes but I can't help it. They just don't compare.
But this does change when you meet some decent people. For now I am not too mad about dates. If I get them great but if not, no worries. I think you just need to make friends with people really if you're feeling lonely. can I just ask, did you guys have mutual friends when you split and are you still friends with them if that's the case or have you lost contact with them after you seperated? If that is the case you just need to try and find new people, which isn't easy. I know from experience. But you can do it!
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Btw if you find it this difficult with him my advice is to perhaps try suspending contact with him for a month. Like don't talk to him at all or look at any online profile he has or do anything related to him for a month to see how it works out. Then re-establish contact gradually to see if that works. If you have no luck again just cease all contact. Delete his numbers, block his profiles, do whatever it takes. It sounds harsh and should be considered a last resort if all else fails but if there's no other way for you to move on I would consider it if you had no luck. I've come close to that with my ex myself but as I am okay for now I'll still talk to him, though not so frequently.
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Ah Dude this is kinda like what Im doing!
I kept texting sorry messages and trying to make it up by saying ill take u away for a weekend somewhere nice.... and then when he didn't respond I would get annoyed at trying so then Id send a nasty text and then say sorry after... It was a constant cycle of that and now I have no idea how to fix it!
Im trying to laugh it off because I know I made a huge mistake and its not like me to chase. But I know exactly how u feel its torment! and u cant think about anything else plus u dont know what todo. You wish they knew how much u liked them and how u would treat them the best u could if they gave u that second chance.
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Whenever I have the urge to text someone to many times I shut my phone off and walk away
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