Has anyone else gone through this?

[Vigilias]

Use the ignore/unfriend/block facility.

[Armandork]

She's your grandmother - a totally different generation with different values.

Yes you have an opinion, how adorable is that? But Granny is your elder and you need to mind your p's and q's. That is how she was raised to believe and she is expecting mandatory respect from you.

So stop talking back at her and say 'Yes 'Mam, Thank-you 'mam'.

Keep your opinion to yourself. She is not going to change her mind - she is old. Us old people are firmly set... like concrete....

Back in my day we kids never talked back at our elders. We sat their quietly and took their brand of Bull-shit in silence and thanked them for it. Sure we went a head and did exactly what we wanted to do, but we pretended (at the very least) to respect our elders.

That is all she really wants... Oh and she seriously is afraid for your eternal soul. If she didn't care she wouldn't preach at you. She cares and she loves you, in her way. Be thankful you got that.

And you will outlive her.... trust me, the day will come when you will look back on these 'exchanges' and you will wish you had said something different, or accepted her with a bit more grace.

Do a little mind role play in your head, pretend Granny died last night - now think of all the things you really wanted to say to her but now can't because she died.

Trust me, if you really seriously think about this, you will find there are ways to make peace or keep peace and have some good time with her.

Please don't make me out to be the "Rebellious Teenager" that is just like "fuck you granny and fuck you mum, I do wat i want woop woop." that's far from my personality. I'm very respectful of my family and I do my best to bite my tongue, at the same time I'm not going to tell her I'm "Changing my ways and being straight and christian" because it'll make her happy. I'm gay, and atheist. That isn't going to change from her constantly telling me that I'm going to hell. I just wanted to know if people had this problem as well. How they dealt with it, and their outcome of the situation was. When she calls me on the phone claiming my eternal damnation I usually just nod and go "Uh-uh..." There really isn't any other way for me to respond. It's not exactly fun to have a family member constantly barrage you with "You're going to hell!!" Which is why I asked her to stop.

Anyway, the situation has improved and she hasn't gone crazy in a bit... I've distanced myself from her. Not much else I can do about the situation then that so... yeah.


@pix- It'd be possible, but a bit of an inconvenience to say the least. I mean, I don't see the need to pretend to be someone I'm not because it'll make someone else happy.

[Matty71]

Armandork, that's terrible! You should not have to be berated like this with twisted opinions and propaganda. You do not deserve to be judged.

I have not experienced this sort of thing directly, but I can relate.

When I have situations with people that I cannot deal with or tolerate I tend just to cut them off from my life. I do not need the stress, lack of understanding or their venom. It's simpler that way.

[Pix]

@pix- It'd be possible, but a bit of an inconvenience to say the least. I mean, I don't see the need to pretend to be someone I'm not because it'll make someone else happy.

That's your prerogative, as it is hers. Since neither of you is going to change then you have to decide whether to cut her out of your life as much as possible (including blocking her from your FB) or getting used to the headache of inevitable conflict, especially when she's convinced she's SAVING your from a terrible danger. Life is what is is, not what it should be.

Personally, I've done both, I've nod my head at some like her to shut them up or I cut them out of my life, but I never decided to permanently butt heads with someone.

[RainbowFiddler]

Hello friend.... First off you should NEVER pretend to be something that you are not.... Religion --- I understand that one its a battle I have with my mother and many friends.... With that you need to just agree to disagree... Agree with each other to only discuss things that are less opinionated.... Talk about life in general, leave religion and governmental issues out I the topic....
The fact the she said " she would never stop trying to save your soul", my friend that just shows that she loves you with all her heart....
The Facebook issue is easy... You can choose to not open or respond to her postings...

She is from a very different generation who didn't accept change or indifference very well (* my apologies to those here from that generation who have proven to be the exception) and like you, she is not going to nor should she change... Just know that she does love you and only means well even though it doesn't seem that way....

Life has taught me that if you respond in a negative way you will only get a negative response .... When she does things you don't like, brush it to the side and keep on about your day... Keep in mind all the good things you love about her.... It will surprise you how your current attitude about her action will change... What she did will no longer really matter.....

I hope this helps..... This was only my own opinion and only meant to help... And never to offend or harm....

RF