Hey, Little help/advice on saving this

[Jay17]

Hi,
I'm really stuck with my situation. I met this guy and we got on great for months and had amazing times. Things went downhill when I lost my job and become needy on him I was fullon and lost my spark. He was moving and starting a new hectic job and didnt have time for me.

For weeks and weeks he was unsure what he wanted which frustrated me I would text long texts trying to win him back but when It didnt work I would send a nasty text to him. He would always respond its ok Mr just chill.

Eventually he wrote to me saying " I really like you I can't tell u how much I do but I know u want more than this and I can't give you that, Im not looking elsewhere or talking to other guys I don't have time. I'd still like to stay friends with u and know what your upto, Please dont forget about me"

I didn't want to lose him so I suggested being friends with benefits which I did once with him, I got a text the next day of him telling me he had a great night but me being a idiot went straight back in there asking for me.

Now the situation is worse I kept trying to win him back with these long texts and he's now said being friends is even a stretch but he said we'll see about being fuck buddies again. He said I put too much pressure on him and maybe I should go and meet other guys.

We haven't spoken for a few days now I've given him some space but I really do Like him and I know my mistakes but I have no idea how to fix it or even if he would except me back now? do u think i've ruined anything ever happening with him? or is there anything I can do now to win him back?

[PINKRA]

Ok... i really see myself in you. Everytime my boyfriend is busy and ignore one of my texts or forgets something silly i attack him (I have even make him cry for this stupid things ) so when i realize what i have done i try to fix it... but is difficult because he is more hurt than i was. You know what we did? we develop a method... when we are trying to fix something and with every try we make it worst we just say "PINK COWS" and that way the other one knows that we just wanna fix things... (its a funny phrase, but is our big S.O.S. signal and it has worked. You could maybe open your heart to him and develop something like that)... also, you know why my boyfriend and I end a night hugging a telling each other how much we love each other? because we really love each other and we just wanna be fine, be happy together!!! we both want to fix it... and we learn just to do it... to forget and just kiss. Talk to him... explain why you send those mean words, tell him that you don't wanna lose him, open your heart!!! tell him: I WANT YOU, BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIX THIS, PLEASE HELP ME FIX US!!!/// do that... open your heart, if he really wants to fix it too... he will. And if he does, try not to be so insecure, that is my mistake too, sometimes loves also mean to swallow somethings we dont like... sometimes we have to shut up and accept some things... believe what he says!!! you need to understand him to, believe him!!! you have to or there is no way you can be together. My advice: Write now... OPEN YOUR HEART!

[Vigilias]

Guys, some things you just can't fix!

[Unfulfilled1]

separate your emotions out.

loosing an employ these days is common. Work hard at getting a new position and your problems will be solved with or with out your BF. either way you have to find another job.

if he is willing; get him to read your resume, incorporate his opinions into your new job (finding a new job).

be strong.

Not everybody knows that, especially those in (for now) more stable fields. A lot of people still believe Old Normal stereotypes that the jobless are bad people who brought everything on themselves, without looking at every economic event and situation that's happened over the last 30 or 40 years. A lot of good people are being wrongly and unfairly blamed for things they are innocent of.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well its clear you can't do just sex without your emotions getting you into trouble. So stop that.

Your subject line says: Hey, Little help/advice on saving this
then you go on in your post to say:

Now the situation is worse I kept trying to win him back with these long texts and he's now said being friends is even a stretch but he said we'll see about being fuck buddies again. He said I put too much pressure on him and maybe I should go and meet other guys.

I think that you already pointed out quite clearly what the real problem is here - he doesn't want it saved and you keep on trying to 'save it'.

His life is hectic, he has moved on - he has thought about it and decided that a relationship is not in the cards at this time - and he even said not with you and not with other people. He has no time, energy and clearly has decided work is far more important at this time than relationships.

Yes you have been rejected, but you were rejected in a diplomatic way, clearly he has feelings for you and was hoping to leave a potential future open:

I'd still like to stay friends with u and know what your upto, Please dont forget about me"

But you didn't accept this offer instead you wanted your way, thus you might have killed that potential in an unwitting attempt to save the un-savable.

You cannot do fuckbuddies - you tried that, it got messy - you are not the type who can separate sex from deeper emotions. So don't go there.

Give him time, give him distance - do try to keep in touch. Hopefully when his life is less hectic and he starts thinking of potentials for love you are still on that list.