I was thinking, the word love. Many people are scared to use it and treat it like it has so much meaning that it would mean the end of the world as they know it if they used it, others drop it into convo willy nilly.
I, myself, like to say it to m guy quite a lot. It's often an involuntary action a bit like torrettes... I can try not to say it but really i'm ITCHING to say it to him, so I have to in the end. I don't end all my texts to him with it, but I do like to randomly send him a text every now and then saying "loooove you" - and I'm not sure why this is, because he knows that I love him.
I have a theory that because I've never been in a relationship before where the other person has loved me back as much as I've loved him, it feels nice to text him saying I love you and getting one back that says he loves me back.  mile:
However, I don't think that overusing the word takes away any of its value. Just because I tell him it more than once or twice a day, does not mean I feel any less love for him. But do you think it would be VALUED more by the other person if you randomly came out with "i love you loads" rather than told them it every day?
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People express their feelings in different ways. Some find it easy to verbalise, others more difficult and some feel that words are of lesser value than, for example, deeds. I suppose problems arise if one partner expects a loved one to conform and copy their own preferred mode of communication.
Feelings, along with the ability or willingness to express them, also change over time and it can be very painful and confusing for one or both partners if one is on an ascendant and the other heading into a trough. Keeping many lines of communication open with a partner is important and helps head off potential misunderstandings.
There may come a time when it's no longer possible. Is there any more destructive feeling than the guilt and pain that results from realising you are hammering a nail into coffin-lid of a relationship every time you can't honestly respond to a partner's declaration of continuing love?
It's also okay for one partner to be able to declare their feelings and the other not to feel obliged to respond immediately, but it is common courtesy to acknowledge it. Feel it when you say it or say it when you feel it needs to be said. Make up the rules as you go, but don't play games or use it as a weapon. It's too powerful.
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Obviously, being the most intelligent life form on earth (apart from mice of course), we (humans) have the most extensive language and vocabulary.
However, I believe it is still largely inadequate for showing our deepest feelings, i.e. Love and hate at their extremes.
For this reason I believe it’s not the word we use, but the way in which we say it. If you are truly ‘in love’ with someone and they are truly ‘in love’ with you, you can tell by the body language, the intonation, the ‘chemistry’, and all the other factors that come into play when you say the words ‘I love you’, whether it’s the true feeling, or not.
I hope I’ve phrased this ok, I quite often know what I need to say but, as I said, find words quite inadequate.
Solomon.
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I agree with Solomon concerning non-verbal communication. Falling in love with a Japanese male was often quite the challenge for this emotional American...
After out first nite together he said that he wanted to be with me forever. Oh, how nice. I asked him if he understood what he was asking for.
Two weeks later and he lays down his first rule that we cant call each others bf or lovers for six months... whatever.
It is still very difficult for him to express his feelings after all these many, many years but our friends say they see how we glow when we are together (even after these so many many years).
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fjp999 Wrote:... but our friends say they see how we glow when we are together (even after these so many many years). If I could wave a magic wand, Frank, that would make two wishes I'd grant you.
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Thanks Marsh. You are the best and I aint saying that because it is your birthday.
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marshlander Wrote:People express their feelings in different ways. Some find it easy to verbalise, others more difficult and some feel that words are of lesser value than, for example, deeds. I suppose problems arise if one partner expects a loved one to conform and copy their own preferred mode of communication.
Feelings, along with the ability or willingness to express them, also change over time and it can be very painful and confusing for one or both partners if one is on an ascendant and the other heading into a trough. Keeping many lines of communication open with a partner is important and helps head off potential misunderstandings.
There may come a time when it's no longer possible. Is there any more destructive feeling than the guilt and pain that results from realising you are hammering a nail into coffin-lid of a relationship every time you can't honestly respond to a partner's declaration of continuing love?
It's also okay for one partner to be able to declare their feelings and the other not to feel obliged to respond immediately, but it is common courtesy to acknowledge it. Feel it when you say it or say it when you feel it needs to be said. Make up the rules as you go, but don't play games or use it as a weapon. It's too powerful.
For my 1,000th post here I'd just like to make this statement once more:
Marshlander, I LOVE YOU!!!   mile::biggrin:
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I thought this thread was going to be about the TV show, from the title...
hahahaha..
you lied to me
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i love love. to put my feelings for love simply, i love it. i mean, love is basically different things. but it is really a harmony of things working together as one thing. like family love is getting on with the people who u live with. friend love is the love u give your friends and they give back. love for things and stuff, like hobbies makes us who we are. but the most definitive love is love for your partner. this is because you can openly say you love your family, friends and hobbies. no one is too affected. but when you say you love your partner for the first time you feel different, and the thing is, what if they were to say that they didn't love you back.
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SumArtBloke Wrote:i love love...But the most definitive love is love for your partner. This is because you can openly say you love your family, friends and hobbies. No one is too affected. But when you say you love your partner for the first time you feel different, and the thing is, what if they were to say that they didn't love you back? I hardly think you could call them a "partner" then... Would it be fair to them? Partnership ought to be a mutual agreement, don't you think?
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THE "L" Word
