Can't orgasm during first time together

[Anonymous]

Does this happen to anyone else?

I just got back from a hook-up with a guy who was previously just an acquaintance/friend He asked if wanted to fool around with him, and I did, so we got together. It was pretty hot, and had a good time.

Only problem, and it happens whenever I have sex with another person for the first time - I lose my erection after 10 minutes into it. I'm not sure why this happens. It could be jitters, but I'm not always so sure. My theory is that I'm so used to going solo that I have my own pacing and stimuli response to touching myself or viewing images on a computer or in my head. Partner sex I think sends me into overload a little bit.

I want to climax really badly, especially if it's a guy I like/trust. It's embarrassing and somewhat of a let down when I don't.

Any advise on how to get over, guys?

[Geminize]

I suspect you're right. If you watch a lot of porn and jerk off frequently, that may affect your experience with the real thing. If you have plans to meet up with a guy to mess around, you might try taking a break for a couple days before (if you have that much advance warning . It's worth a try anyway.

[trialbyerror]

Does this happen to anyone else?

I just got back from a hook-up with a guy who was previously just an acquaintance/friend He asked if wanted to fool around with him, and I did, so we got together. It was pretty hot, and had a good time.

Only problem, and it happens whenever I have sex with another person for the first time - I lose my erection after 10 minutes into it. I'm not sure why this happens. It could be jitters, but I'm not always so sure. My theory is that I'm so used to going solo that I have my own pacing and stimuli response to touching myself or viewing images on a computer or in my head. Partner sex I think sends me into overload a little bit.

I want to climax really badly, especially if it's a guy I like/trust. It's embarrassing and somewhat of a let down when I don't.

Any advise on how to get over, guys?

Common problem

Although I haven't got lucky in the last 10 years or so it's happened to me plenty times.

It's a problem of anxiety / performance anxiety, and is purely psychosomatic.

All sorts of negative thoughts about yourself are running around in the "dark rooms" of your mind

Be upfront, tell your partner you are as nervous as hell, so don't expect too much.

Play around a lot more first. Get into things a bit, stop, carry on a little later.

TEASE TEASE TEASE TEASE TEASE TEASE TEASE TEASE

Shower / bath together first. Get naked a few times together before having the good stuff... all helps

Touch feel grope leave sex to last.....

Lie back relax and enjoy the ride... Your partner's probably just as nervous

MAIN THING: - Sex is fun

[ardus]

It's not at all uncommon, and it can be a combination of factors. Being nervous or uncomfortable with your partner can be a big part of it.
The best thing I can say is just take your time, get to know each other sexually, explore each other.

Get each other worked up, take your time, don't get hung up on penetrative or oral sex. Just explore each others bodies.

It should work itself out.

Richard

[princealbertofb]

For me, this sounds totally normal. Any kinds of reasons could be the cause of this, stress, the frequency of your own self stimulation, and the fact that both of you are unaccustomed to each other's responses to sexual stimulus. I woudn't give it too much importance. The thing is, practice generally makes perfect, and therefore you'd probably need to repeat the experience before finding what triggers you both.
As for simultaneous orgasm, I guess it's great when it happens but it's not so common, unless you can both pace it out. Sometimes it's just better to find a way for both partners to have their time while the other devotes himself to making it happen.

[princealbertofb]

I also agree with Geminize, if you've been without an orgasm for a while (even just a day without one, probably, depending on how sexually aroused you usually are) it will help. Try two or three days without it, and you're sure to be horny as hell.

[Anonymous]

For me, this sounds totally normal. Any kinds of reasons could be the cause of this, stress, the frequency of your own self stimulation, and the fact that both of you are unaccustomed to each other's responses to sexual stimulus. I woudn't give it too much importance. The thing is, practice generally makes perfect, and therefore you'd probably need to repeat the experience before finding what triggers you both.
As for simultaneous orgasm, I guess it's great when it happens but it's not so common, unless you can both pace it out. Sometimes it's just better to find a way for both partners to have their time while the other devotes himself to making it happen.

He was able to climax just fine, and I'm not looking for simultaneous climaxes (which is virtually impossible anyways). I'm not sexually inexperienced, I just don't have sex....regularly (only a few times a year, when I'm lucky). I would love it if he and I can become regular sex partners. But you're right, I think if and when that happens I'll be able to stay harder longer.