So I was talking with a friend and we seemed to disagree on when exactly for lesbian couples do you go from just oral sex (3rd base) to actually full on intercourse (going all the way). With guys it's pretty simple, a handjob or blowjob isn't sex yet, but penetration is. But since girls don't have dicks, when for them is it actual sex? My friend thinks that it's all about climaxing. If they climax, then it's sex, no matter how it happened or in what condition. So, a girl rubbing another girls vagina until they climax is sex, even if the other girl didn't return the favor and they stopped right after. I always thought it mattered on how invested they are in the act. Like, trying different positions, scissoring, using their mouth and fingers, orgasming multiple times, and just generally being really into each other. Am I right? Is my friend right? Are we both wrong, because that's very possible...
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
i've actually heard some gay men say that they think oral counts as sex too. in the gay community/gay male sexuality , i mean.
so really sex is whatever the people involved think or what it to be . some people consider some things to be sex , other people don't . that doesn't mean that either is wrong
•
I'd disagree that only penetration counts as sex, some couples never have penetrative sex and I'm not comfortable with diminishing their sexuality as less legitimate.
•
I don't think it really matters, but an hand job and/or a blow job is sex.
•
I guess those baseball metaphors for sex only really apply to straight couples.
•
Scissoring. Gotta be. South Park made it seem so real :-D
•
I haven't noticed that "what base" you get to is anywhere important to women as men so there's a lot less to go by in determining what's "all the way" for lesbians. We generally don't use ranks or levels like that.
Complicating it is that females also have a wide variety of what counts and what doesn't, and even in individual females (typically high school and younger) the standards depend more on who does what rather than what is done (that is, Sheila has lots of oral sex and that's acceptable, but the unpopular Mildred gave one hand job and she's an unacceptable slut to the same girls who accept Sheila and no one will associate with other than guys wanting to use her and lose her). It gets so absurd that one former fundie Christian said back in her very religious days she had oral and anal sex all the time and yet she righteously slut shamed any female who had vaginal sex even if she was much more careful and reserved (that is she took it up the butt on a regular basis, sometimes with guys she'd just met, but if another girl lost her virginity even once after being with him for over a year and they were talking marriage then she felt she had to slut shame her).
As for me I'd have to say the standards don't really apply...I suppose I'd consider any contact (even one way) with the nether regions that involves penetration and/or climax would count...IF I bothered to, but I wouldn't save as trying to answer the question.
•
There are bases?
Confused.com
ObW
X
•
In my opinion, it's a sex when people starts touching each other's nether regions.
•
When is it "going all the way"?
