How to fight with being in love with someone?

[Vigilias]

Of course your reasons are important!

Important enough to mention.

Am I right in thinking that you don't know if you should talk about it or not - these reasons?

If you continue like this you're going to peak people's curiosity so much that they will subconsciously encourage you to tell all simply to satisfy their own curiosity. That doesn't help you, this is about your feelings not our entertainment.

We really are good at helping but when someone posts about a problem they seek our help with but wont give us the full story it sort of defeats the object.

Let me help by asking you to clarify your reasons for posting and what you want from us - something seems to be blocking you - but what?

My offer to send me a private message stands.

Have courage!

[MisterTinkles]

I had one guy who "fell" for me, but I wasnt interested in him.....not that way.
He kept on trying, and he tried so hard it started freaking me out, so I was really nasty to him one day.
Never saw him again after that....feel like shit cause I had to be nasty to him for him to "get it".....but apparently thats what had to be done.

Another guy I "fell" for, but he didnt know it, and I really didnt know it at the time, because I never fell in love with anyone before.....I had no idea why I was acting so weird. But I ended up driving him away. But it was a good thing....he got into some freaky shit that I didnt cotton too. Several months later, it dawned on me what had happened. I fell in love with him.

They are probably better off not having me around anyway.

[mbennet35]

They are probably better off not having me around anyway.

MisterTinkles no one is better off without you. Where would we be without you?

[Unfulfilled1]

So I'm gay and unexpectedly a love has came into my life. I'm 29 and I've been a loner from the birth already and I never knew what it's like to be in love, until I met him. The worst thing is that he feels the same way for me, he told that to me.

However I cannot be together with him. Don't ask me why, I have my reasons, that I don't want to discuss, but they're serious enough. I'm not a good person and I want him to find someone else and be happy without me. He doesn't know I love him, I always lie and say I'm not interested and I hope that he'll distance himself from me, but he doesn't. There hasn't been a single day when he hasn't came up to me and just talk about something. I have to see him almost every day and it's really hard.

I need to get away from these feelings, but I don't know how. There must be some way. Have you tried to do it? Should I really change my job, my place of living, basically my whole life?

Never be dishonest or unethical.

You have to tell him you love him AND tell him why you are having these feelings. It doesn't matter you can't tell us what you don't want to discuss, which is OK. But he needs to know. Love and communication include the not-so-comfy topics at times. Maybe we could give better advice if you told us the things you don't want to, but nobody is going to press you into telling you what you don't feel comfortable with.

Do you have depression or self-esteem issues? I did and in ways still do. Your post reminds me of how I was a decade ago (and I was 30 then.) Almost verbatim. I was and in ways still am a loner type. It is possible for other people to love you, but you also need to love yourself. It's a cliche but it's true.

If another person loves you and you love him, GO FOR IT and enjoy life!! Don't ask why. Enjoy life!!! Such people are not a dime per dozen. Indeed, I wrote a post earlier and part of me is finding a possible answer while writing to others on their issues (but I hope it gets posted anyway because other perspectives are always great to read.)

Also, we are human. Not Vulcans or androids. It is impossible to turn off emotions or repress them, as both are psychologically unhealthy. One can only get through them, so either way it's going to hurt for a while. But if you both love each other, why choose to preemptively prevent a better life from happening?