"Meaningless" sex

[Geminize]

This quote from a thread a few days ago has had me thinking:

Also, I'd rather love someone than just have meaningless sex like some people here.

I don't think these are the only two options for sex: love or meaningless. There's no question that sex is often a part of a healthy loving relationship. I've been there, and it's wonderful. Some people have casual, ongoing sex with friends and they seem to be able to make that a part of their relationship without commitment. Other people have fuck buddies that they rarely interact with, other than for sex. Then, of course, there are anonymous hook-ups and one night stands.

My point is that there is a spectrum of sexual experience in this regard; with monogamous, committed relationships at one end, and anonymous hookups at the other. Any sexual encounter can fall along the spectrum other than the committed end and still have meaning. Some of the one night stands I've had have been very tender, not just a lust fest. I would also prefer a loving relationship, but I'm willing to make do in the meantime.

What do you think?

[Sylph]

Well my darlin

Heres this, I does agree with de fact dat love and sex are two wholly unrelated dings, as both are acts of a different kind.

Sex does have many forms of variety, assimilating dis here spectrum you mentioned, however, some people are just unable to separate de two and ultimately collide dem head on when purposed side by side....

"Omg Debby, Blake and I just had sex, omg, we're going to be together forever! eeeeek"

meanwhile Blake is telling his buddies how his stung de fifth gurl for de week so far and has plans for Ashley de next night.

although dis isn't to say guys are all like dis, however, just some people are more detached from sex to rather call it love den others.

Den der are de people who know dey can't have sex without feeling emotions for dat person, whether dat person reciprocates dem or not, so in an effort ta keep their emotive state in tact, dey refrain from sex in which dey know de result would not be a reciprocated feeling.

It just depends on who you are.

I does agree der are different varieties, but just as der are different varieties ta sex, der are to de peoples who have it and who feel a certain way for it.



Personally, de guy haffta put a ring dahn ta my finga hunni!

Dis hur ain't no service bell, his not ta be ringin it when he pleases, and den up hit it and quit it, no no Sis. Dis is a commitment hunni, cell phone contract up in dis nah! two ta dree yurs, and ya gotta pay ta switch to anodda carrier! Yes ma'am.

Just de way I stay doe....

#Team Wifey In dis Bitch :p

[MisterTinkles]

Well my darlin

Heres this, I does agree with de fact dat love and sex are two wholly unrelated dings, as both are acts of a different kind.

Sex does have many forms of variety, assimilating dis here spectrum you mentioned, however, some people are just unable to separate de two and ultimately collide dem head on when purposed side by side....

"Omg Debby, Blake and I just had sex, omg, we're going to be together forever! eeeeek"

meanwhile Blake is telling his buddies how his stung de fifth gurl for de week so far and has plans for Ashley de next night.

although dis isn't to say guys are all like dis, however, just some people are more detached from sex to rather call it love den others.

Den der are de people who know dey can't have sex without feeling emotions for dat person, whether dat person reciprocates dem or not, so in an effort ta keep their emotive state in tact, dey refrain from sex in which dey know de result would not be a reciprocated feeling.

It just depends on who you are.

I does agree der are different varieties, but just as der are different varieties ta sex, der are to de peoples who have it and who feel a certain way for it.



Personally, de guy haffta put a ring dahn ta my finga hunni!

Dis hur ain't no service bell, his not ta be ringin it when he pleases, and den up hit it and quit it, no no Sis. Dis is a commitment hunni, cell phone contract up in dis nah! two ta dree yurs, and ya gotta pay ta switch to anodda carrier! Yes ma'am.

Just de way I stay doe....

#Team Wifey In dis Bitch :p

[Sylph]

Ya knoooo dat Ras!



lol

[SolemnBoy]

There's nothing wrong with believing in only sleeping with people you love deeply and there's nothing wrong having casual one-night-stands assuming there's consent, protection and the persons involved are of legal age.

The problems occur when the former are ridiculed as prudes and the latter are ridiculed as sluts. Just because the sex occurs outside of a relationship without any kind of romance between the partners involved it's not meaningless by default. You don't get the right to define what constitutes meaningful sex on a general plane but, rather, for yourself only.

[Kenny221]

I think the meaning behind sex is solely based on the individual... Personally, being a virgin and all, I put heavy emotional emphasis on sex therefore, I wouldn't have 'meaningless' sex. But that's just my perspective, and that doesn't necessarily make me 'moral' or 'right'. It's just the personal value I've attached to the act of sex and that's it. Others can be completely detach from 'sex' and 'love'. Others can't. It's just the way it is. The most important thing is to know which one you are...you never wanna catch yourself in a situation you're not comfortable with....

[Waylon777]

I've had couple of one night stands before, and I can say that, although most of them tends to be sort of just because you are horny, but very few of them did end up as something very meaningful. It's not something to the point of having a relationship, but some people are lonely and they like to talk. Some of the one night stands that I experienced was very nice, I actually got to know the person a little and we talked for hours. I think there are just different ways sex can be good or bad. Although, I'm pretty sure sex infused with love is great!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I doubt those that can't commit to monogamy love in the same way that those who do can. And those who do monogamy cannot see the point in random sexual encounters as they appear to be without feeling, without attachment, without long term intimacy.

In essence one is comparingMalus domestica to Citrus sinensis.

I personally feel (this is emotionally speaking, not intellectually - thus it is a feeling) that promiscuity is inherently wrong. It lacks so many things: faithfulness, commitment, love. So I can see it as 'meaningless' even though sex can't be accomplished without some sort of gratification, even if it is temporary and carnal.

Love and sex are complex things. Unfortunately the English language only has one word for love although love covers a lot of things. For instance I love my dog - this isn't the same sort of love I had for my partner.

Sex is even more complex because we try to shove a plethora of emotional states into one tiny word (sex), and then the majority lack any sexual education whatsoever, thus do not understand that sex is a profound act that goes beyond what happens with the genitalia.

Is there a lot of ground between monogamous relationship type sex and promiscuity - yes, technically. However you are not dealing with technically thinking people most of the time.

The majority think in terms of black and white, true and false, yes and no - few appear to be able to see the vast grey territories of life situations, few fail to understand that there is maybe, and potentials and probabilities that go beyond simple yes/no, true/false statements.

Intellectually I understand that sex is not a simple cut and dry situation with two and only two options.

Any sexual encounter can fall along the spectrum other than the committed end and still have meaning.

That applies to yourself, I fear for me sexual encounters cannot fall along any other spectrum than the committed end. I tried, twice, it did not work for me. The two times I had one night stands it was unsatisfying emotionally speaking thus feels 'empty and meaningless' to me.

I think there are about 12 other people in the world that this holds true for....

[Matty71]

I doubt those that can't commit to monogamy love in the same way that those who do can. And those who do monogamy cannot see the point in random sexual encounters as they appear to be without feeling, without attachment, without long term intimacy.

In essence one is comparingMalus domestica to Citrus sinensis.

I personally feel (this is emotionally speaking, not intellectually - thus it is a feeling) that promiscuity is inherently wrong. It lacks so many things: faithfulness, commitment, love. So I can see it as 'meaningless' even though sex can't be accomplished without some sort of gratification, even if it is temporary and carnal.

Love and sex are complex things. Unfortunately the English language only has one word for love although love covers a lot of things. For instance I love my dog - this isn't the same sort of love I had for my partner.

Sex is even more complex because we try to shove a plethora of emotional states into one tiny word (sex), and then the majority lack any sexual education whatsoever, thus do not understand that sex is a profound act that goes beyond what happens with the genitalia.

Is there a lot of ground between monogamous relationship type sex and promiscuity - yes, technically. However you are not dealing with technically thinking people most of the time.

The majority think in terms of black and white, true and false, yes and no - few appear to be able to see the vast grey territories of life situations, few fail to understand that there is maybe, and potentials and probabilities that go beyond simple yes/no, true/false statements.

Intellectually I understand that sex is not a simple cut and dry situation with two and only two options.



That applies to yourself, I fear for me sexual encounters cannot fall along any other spectrum than the committed end. I tried, twice, it did not work for me. The two times I had one night stands it was unsatisfying emotionally speaking thus feels 'empty and meaningless' to me.

I think there are about 12 other people in the world that this holds true for....

Agreed, fully.

[Maverick]

Once again, very well put Bowyn... (and there are a "few" more then 12, lol).