09-29-2013, 03:17 PM
According to the Onion:
http://www.theonion.com/articles/hell-no.../?ref=auto
http://www.theonion.com/articles/hell-no.../?ref=auto
Quote:âItâs just nice to finally live in a place where I donât feel like an outcast or an outsider,â said Vanessa Aldridge, 38, stressing that she has faced absolutely no discrimination since she, like all homosexuals and gay sympathizers, was sentenced to an eternity in Luciferâs Den immediately upon her death. âThereâs no stigma attached to openly being who I am here. Everyone is respected and free to live the way they want to live.â
âItâs really refreshing, frankly, to live in a place where nobody gives me any weird looks when I walk hand-in-hand with my girlfriend,â Aldridge continued. âAnd all of the other eternally damned homosexuals down here feel the same. I thank Satan every day for welcoming me here.â
Quote:âThe gay community has really flourished here, and I have to say, theyâve been great for the place,â said Nephirem the Malevolent, a 10,000-year-old, 70-foot-tall minotaur who has resided in hell since rising from the ashes of a smokeless flame. âAt the end of the day, theyâre just like anyone else. Everyone has the right to express their love for whomever they want. They donât bother me in the slightest, and if anything, we in the Dark Lordâs Army encourage any and all public displays of affection between same-sex couples.â
âI think itâs great that theyâve carved out such a strong community for themselves here,â added the horned beast of ceaseless death and destruction. âIâm all for it.â
In stark contrast to Hellâs ongoing embrace of persecuted groups, sources confirmed that Heaven remains the most bigoted and intolerant place in the universe.