I'm potentially an idiot

[Waylon777]

Oh man, that sucks. I wouldn't really say you are an idiot, but I would stay away if I got dumped over their ex. It could mean that he is not over with his ex, and that may become a problem later.. Plus, if someone dumps you for someone else, it's usually a good idea not to come back.. I keep telling my mother this. On the other hand, everyone does get second chances, doesn't mean that they can keep the promise either..

[LateBloomer]

Tough call, not knowing every angle to this story.

But you know what? I'm all about giving people the benefit of the doubt.

But this opens you up to more vulnerability. By the way, I just got turned on to a counselor called Brene' Brown. Lots of YouTube vids so you can look her up. She's been on Oprah so she's GOTTA be good right?



Anyway, when you chose to be vulnerable like that it takes a LOT of guts. You could really get screwed here and not in a good way.

So I say, go for it. You're not being an idiot *IF* you know what you're risking. But I will say this, I wouldn't tolerate any B.S. from this guy. Either he's in it for real from now on (and you MUST make this perfectly clear) or he's just jerking you around.

Set out your needs/desires...
Describe your deal breakers...
Define the terms of your relationship NOW so everybody knows the rules and where the lines are drawn.

Otherwise you're just wandering around in the dark with someone rather than going down the same path.

Good luck.

[MisterTinkles]

Making mistakes, faux pas, boo-boo's are forgivable yes.

Being dumped is not one of these. It is a different situation altogether.

Your BF calls you a "faggot loving homo" in public because you had a fight.
Boo-boo #1. Rules are set in motion so this doesnt happen again.

Your BF tells your parents something he PROMISED he would never tell another living soul.
Faux Pas #2. Things are explained to the BF in plain English, that he's on thin ice.

Your BF kisses another guy and blames it on "the booze".
Mistake #3. He cleans his shit up or out the door he goes, no matter how much he whines, begs, pleads, and cries. He was given his chances, he blew them.



BF dumps you for his Ex. Boo-boo, faux pas, AND mistake all rolled into one.
He's already shown you his contempt for you. WHY go back for more????
Unless you like getting emotionally kicked in the face with steel tipped boots.

[Merc]

I definitely agree with taking baby steps and only keeping one foot in the door for a while. If you guys go for this, I would encourage you to try and wipe the slate clean. If you don't, any change in his behavior might trigger these old memories for you.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

G day Matt

You are not an idiot by a long shot, there is at least one person that has been involved in this discussion that has done something FAR more idiotic than what you have done...actually eclipsed what you have done.

You followed your heart, good for you...but don't forget to protect your heart, don't be too quick to give him your heart again, make sure he earns your heart and your trust. It may or may not work out, but yeah people definately deserve a second chance.

Hey - its not nice to air my dirty laundry in public. Just because I am an epic loser when it comes to affairs of the heart doesn't mean you have to point it out to everyone.

Sheesh....


:tongue:

[MisterTinkles]

Hey - its not nice to air my dirty laundry in public. Just because I am an epic loser when it comes to affairs of the heart doesn't mean you have to point it out to everyone.

Sheesh....


:tongue: