Dating Crisis Mode

[brybryan4]

I don't know what to do about guys anymore. I'm tired of being the only 19 year old who actually wants a relationship. Like do guys literally only want sex?

What should I do? Just wait it out, give up and just give in to the pressures, or keep trying to find something real??

I promised myself back in February that I wouldn't have sex again until it was with someone I loved, but I don't want to be the freaking Madonna over here. I've like never even had a boyfriend! So I am like literally in crisis mode over relationship. I have never felt as single as I do know.

AND I PROMISE, I'm not just a Debbie Downer, I'll start posting happier topics soon enough lol

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I'm 47 and have been waiting it out for... Well way too long - much longer than you have been walking on this planet I fear....

On the bright side I don't have STDs - on the dark side I have only been with 8 men sexually (willingly) with very, very long dry spells.

I would say it gets better the older you get, but I prefer honesty over bald face lies.

It would appear (from where I sit) that the older gays gets the raunchier, more fetish freakish they get and the more they want to spread the joy with everything with a swinging body part.

LTR means what to you? Are you expecting a 19 year old to give up the next 80 years of random hot sex with all available partners? That is a hard pill to swallow for most guys.

Three of my past partners ended up cheating on me. I got so desperate with the last that I ignored the symptoms for 12 long years - while we stopped having sex when he became positive - Wait no I stopped having sex when he became positive - him, at least 10 strangers a year - perhaps more....

Realistically, monogamy is NOT a natural affair for humans. The reality is if our species was monogamous or wired for it, our species would not be here today. Our very DNA tells the truth there. Plus how we have sex, down to why a man's penis is shaped the way it is and how large his testes is all tell the sad story of just how into multiple partners the human species is.

LTR so often demands this giving up sex with everyone else, a lot of guys pass on the idea of LTR. So you are dealing with about 5 billion years of evolution that says monogamy bad. Good luck winning that battle.

Out of the 8 men I have been with willingly, 6 were honest attempts at relationships. A couple were fairly good aside from some minor things, like the first one went to prison for oh 25 to life for murder, the third broke my heart and my arm....

So you are not really dealing with just finding a guy who wants a LTR - you are also confronted with finding a half decent guy who won't go away for murder, or end up beating the crap out of you or something.

Understand that most gay men have 'issues' and problems - drinking problems, drug problems, anger issues, self esteem issues, anorexia is on the climb in the LGBT community - So you are going to most likely find yourself meeting a guy with issues of one sort or another.

Which issues you can tolerate and work with and which ones you cannot is up to you.

There are honest to god fellas who are desperately seeking that magical fairytale never after story book ending.... What we call the Long Term Relationship. From all ages from 18 to 99 there are guys complaining about all of the "just sex" ads - I went to Craigslist recently and started reading. THAT was an eye opening experience.
I suggest you take a trip there and read some of the ads - Not the Men for Men, go under Misc Romance and then to M4M - apparently LTR is so rare it falls under Miscellaneous Romance....

I fear most of them got negatives, over weight, old, balding, use drugs, smoke, don't have a professional career - whatever you see as a negative.

Patience is your best virtue - if you give up and start having promiscuity as a steady diet it isn't going to end well for you.

[Sylph]

Um Hi, Wagwaan Sis, I am monogamous to the core!

Sure I have Wadey, Miles, Joshie, Zet, Drake, Sean Paul and Usher under my skirt...at the same time, but I always am monogamous to one at a time

But seriously everyone here can tell you I am as pristine as the garden of eden and as untouched as the Virgin Mary herself and I plan to stay that way until I find my guy.

And if he turns out not to be him, I will move on, simple as that.

You do what you feel like you have to do, spread your legs for the entire U S and A or strap them puppies tighter than a Catholic Nun during prayer.

Just because we're 19 doesn't mean we have to fall face first into the lap of every guy who happens to sit down opposite us. I mean you can if you want, just wear some goggles gurl, but it's not like because we are 19, do we have to.

If you don't wanna wait or whatever gurlie, then you don't gotta. Go out and get you a man so and live it up Sis.

People can't judge the choices you make for yourself, if you feel like they're the best for you.

Tell Dey, fi pree dem own self, before dey affi pass way pon ya so! Ya know how ya stay so!
(Tell Them to check themselves, before they pass judgement on you! You know yourself!)

[MisterTinkles]

Keep your sanity by keeping your virtue to yourself until you find the right guy. Dont start whoring around, it will just depress you into some kind of downer state and make you feel worse than you do about things right now.

I wanted a nice concrete relationship with a decent man for the rest of my life. People have always called me "the marrying kind", but yet only one guy ever asked me to marry him. I turned him down, but I had no idea he would be the ONLY guy to ever ask me. As they say, hindsight is 20/20.

The one guy I did fall in love with myself, he wanted nothing more than to sit in the corner of dark clubs and give blowjobs. Needless to say it didnt end well between us when I found that out. I mean really....thats just disgusting beyond disgusting.

I find intelligence and knowledge and the know how to use them wisely, very sexy. Guess what, Im still single at the age of 50. There is VERY little intelligent life out there nowdays, and what is there is usually already snatched up....or they see me and run in the opposite direction.

I have become complacent with being alone.
Some people luck out. I dont have that kind of luck in my life.
A wise man once said "there are lots of males, but few men".

But you need to do what you need to do. Just dont do something you will regret later on.

[trywait]

i just haven't found the right guy and keep running into mr. wrongs...I don't take left turns often but when I do, I still end up w/some fond memories.

im not looking for mr. right now or mr. perfect....just someone to take my breath away :/

the lovelorn tales of a hopeless romantic

[LateBloomer]

I don't know what to do about guys anymore. I'm tired of being the only 19 year old who actually wants a relationship. Like do guys literally only want sex?

What should I do? Just wait it out, give up and just give in to the pressures, or keep trying to find something real??

I promised myself back in February that I wouldn't have sex again until it was with someone I loved, but I don't want to be the freaking Madonna over here. I've like never even had a boyfriend! So I am like literally in crisis mode over relationship. I have never felt as single as I do know.

AND I PROMISE, I'm not just a Debbie Downer, I'll start posting happier topics soon enough lol

Ok, first a little straight talk...

At 19, you're TOO YOUNG to be tired of much. As some of our older members have tried to impress upon you, finding a suitable mate is a long road. Get used to the idea of being single for a little bit.

And in the meantime, you should DATE YOURSELF.

What does that mean? That means you get to KNOW YOURSELF. Discover yourself. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Treat yourself right. Learn to love yourself. Because you cannot (SHOULD NOT) love someone else until you learn to love yourself.

BE the type of person you want to date. Take interest in your own life. LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Take a Zen approach to things, stop searching, and see what you find.


Good luck.

[trialbyerror]

Ok, first a little straight talk...

At 19, you're TOO YOUNG to be tired of much. As some of our older members have tried to impress upon you, finding a suitable mate is a long road. Get used to the idea of being single for a little bit.

And in the meantime, you should DATE YOURSELF.

What does that mean? That means you get to KNOW YOURSELF. Discover yourself. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself. Treat yourself right. Learn to love yourself. Because you cannot (SHOULD NOT) love someone else until you learn to love yourself.

BE the type of person you want to date. Take interest in your own life. LIVE YOUR LIFE.

Take a Zen approach to things, stop searching, and see what you find.


Good luck.

]

This........

This is damn good talk

Thank you Late

[LateBloomer]

]

This........

This is damn good talk

Thank you Late

Thanks, glad you appreciate it.



I can't remember who told me that, or where I read it. But back in my single days it really made an impression on me. It helped me feel less lonely as I turned my SELF into a project. You know, I started a relationship with my SELF.

Nobody knows me better than mySELF. But all that said, now that I've been in a monogamous relationship for a little while, I'm STILL LEARNING things about myself.

It just never stops...if you're open to it...

[Waylon777]

Yeah, it is sometimes really funky to wait for the one. I'm stuck in an engineering school for gods sakes. Almost 90% of the population in this school are guys, but they are mostly straight, or really deeply closeted.... Plus, with ridiculous work loads, not that many of us can keep a relationship and school without killing ourselves.. Either way, I'm finding every free time to just go out and meet people, and hoping to come across my prince charming soon! XD So go out, have fun,and enjoy! My best friend told me once that "You have to learn to live alone before you can live with another."

[Waylon777]

You have new user picture! I like it! Bleach was good, until the end of Arrancar ark..

Um Hi, Wagwaan Sis, I am monogamous to the core!

Sure I have Wadey, Miles, Joshie, Zet, Drake, Sean Paul and Usher under my skirt...at the same time, but I always am monogamous to one at a time

But seriously everyone here can tell you I am as pristine as the garden of eden and as untouched as the Virgin Mary herself and I plan to stay that way until I find my guy.

And if he turns out not to be him, I will move on, simple as that.

You do what you feel like you have to do, spread your legs for the entire U S and A or strap them puppies tighter than a Catholic Nun during prayer.

Just because we're 19 doesn't mean we have to fall face first into the lap of every guy who happens to sit down opposite us. I mean you can if you want, just wear some goggles gurl, but it's not like because we are 19, do we have to.

If you don't wanna wait or whatever gurlie, then you don't gotta. Go out and get you a man so and live it up Sis.

People can't judge the choices you make for yourself, if you feel like they're the best for you.

Tell Dey, fi pree dem own self, before dey affi pass way pon ya so! Ya know how ya stay so!
(Tell Them to check themselves, before they pass judgement on you! You know yourself!)