I've Never Been Asked Out on a Date

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Uh, well yes I guess I did. It was my bf that asked me out.

I did ask if I could come back for a second date though. :tongue:

I see. So your statement you made was kinda unfair no?

You know how it is to be 'there' because, old man, you have been there, done that.... LOL OMG you are so old....

[72jay]

Never been asked out myself...and i'd probably die of shock right then & there if someone did. LOL
(oh...and...i'd never have the guts to ask anyone out :eek: )

[averycurious]

Hey, I never been asked for a date but I think I dated a few since I was 12yo, we just never called it a date. So maybe you had some dates but never called it a date. Sorry if I sound silly.

[starbelly]

Don't worry, I have felt the same way for a long time. The problem is that I'm usually fairly quiet in my day-to-day so I don't always stand out either. I get 'looks' from people and can tell quite clearly when a girl is giving me "the eye", but that's irrelevant to me obviously. It happens occasionally with guys where it's visibly clear that they're checking me out, but 90% of the time I'm not interested and wouldn't approach them.

The problem is most guys aren't brazen enough to express interest in you if they don't KNOW you are gay. It sucks, but it's true. I go to a downtown university with a student body of 30,000 people and I still can't find a guy. I develop crushes on guys in my classes fairly often, but I'm never brave enough to approach any of them because I think most of them are straight. On the flipside of that, I don't think I'm particularly noticeably gay (I don't have the stereotypical mannerisms and most of my friends weren't able to tell until they got to know me really well, or by which point I told them). It's like a fuckin' curse, but you just have to deal with it. I'm thinking about walking around with a damn rainbow pin on my backpack or something as a sort of name tag saying "Hey, guys, I'm here!", but I haven't done that yet. I'm considering it. I'd maybe get approached if I had some sort of signifier so that they knew I WASN'T straight. It's scary though, the thought of hitting on some hetero guy. It'd either be really uncomfortable and awkward, or he'd get super pissed off and/or attack you.

[GoldenHylian]

I've never been asked out before. I have initiated the 2 dates I've officially been on. I'm 22, and I'm losing hope. I know that may seem stupid because I am on the younger side, but am sick of guys never noticing me. I am an introvert so I may seem cold and aloof to someone, but I'm not. I'm so sad I don't have a special someone in my life. I'm okay with being alone and enjoying time by myself, but I'm sick of it all the time. I want intimacy with someone, but no one seems to want it with me...

I'm in the same boat bud. 22 and have never been asked out, but you can't just lose hope!! There's so much that goes into the process of asking someone out, or getting asked out yourself. It's all highly circumstantial, and like you said, you're young!!

Confidence is attractive, and you sir should be confident with those looks. If you're this young and you start giving up, you'll only attract the wrong kind of people. A bunch of guys who want to use that part of you to their advantage.

Yes, it's easy to stay in the mindset where "some guy will come rescue me from my loneliness". But you can't let the lack of results get you down. Positive attitude begets positive results!!

[GoldenHylian]

My impression is that people who wait to "be noticed" get the players who use their "game" to pick them up, use them, and lose them, because the decent men will respect your space and not bother you if they think you're not interested. The players, however, will try to make you interested (and neither care what you feel nor respect you or your space) and some are experts in telling you exactly what you want to hear (so many people project their fantasies on anyone who shows them any attention that it's almost too easy, the player just has to play along with what they consider meat rather than a person).

IOW, it could be worse. Much worse, actually. And I really don't think you'll find a "special someone" by just waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep you off your feet. At least it doesn't work for the vast majority of straight women and gay men who try that tactic, they usually either get played by those who don't respect them or ignored.

'course it can be tricky finding the right balance of sharing yourself so the right person can come to you and becoming similar to the players, but many do just that so it can be done.

THIS ^ I found to be a very helpful comment, and rather than just clicking that 'thanks' button, I felt it necessary to type out a thank you. ^_^

[Waylon777]

Yeah, I agree. You can't be waiting all the time. At least get out there and have fun and meet people. Maybe the relationship comes after finding a relationship. Either way, someone's gotta initiate or else nothing will start!

Hmm remember one homicide case. A girl basically met a "player", and he turned out to be a sociopath. He slowly segregated her from her friends, then just used her as his personal wallet. He didn't work, he doesn't respect his wife and is abusive. Later he got imprisoned for life for murdering her.

My impression is that people who wait to "be noticed" get the players who use their "game" to pick them up, use them, and lose them, because the decent men will respect your space and not bother you if they think you're not interested. The players, however, will try to make you interested (and neither care what you feel nor respect you or your space) and some are experts in telling you exactly what you want to hear (so many people project their fantasies on anyone who shows them any attention that it's almost too easy, the player just has to play along with what they consider meat rather than a person).

IOW, it could be worse. Much worse, actually. And I really don't think you'll find a "special someone" by just waiting for Prince Charming to come sweep you off your feet. At least it doesn't work for the vast majority of straight women and gay men who try that tactic, they usually either get played by those who don't respect them or ignored.

'course it can be tricky finding the right balance of sharing yourself so the right person can come to you and becoming similar to the players, but many do just that so it can be done.