You need to change your thoughts about yourself for starters. Even the way you're phrasing your words contributes to decreased self esteem. A simple way to change this is, for example, not saying "I need help", but rather, "I am making a choice to better myself.", because the latter is both more accurate and inspiring, and you posting this is definitely inspiring.
I used to be chronically depressed, I just drifted in the "I don't want to exist..." gloom for months, even years..
I found that reminding myself of my self worth, and good plans for the future helped me to be excited about my current and future lives, which helped a lot. In addition to this, I was taught in various courses that an individual can control anger... and if we can control anger, why not sadness or happiness? So I practice with influencing my own emotions... with a certain level of success and failure.
--- This is what I do, but what I do might not work for you. I can't tell where you are, if your personality is compatible with what I personally do to keep myself content, or if you might need on-going help. It is definitely recommended to see some sort of pyschiatric professional to help you in this. Personally, this is something I choose to do in high school on several occasions, just to make sure I was okay, and I don't think there's any shame in it.
You've already shown that you can reach out for help, and want to become a better person. I think if you keep at it, you'll be able to be okay.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
•
Londoner you was critical.
And you didn't even offer help.
God, the one thing that irks me, is this whole English is gotta be perfect thing going on here -.-
You went to school I'm presuming, so you know the general message and the inflection of the tone.
You can't correct something you don't understand, so if it didn't make sense, how did you know what words he meant to say? Oh right cause you already knew.
This board ain't Grammar school.
•
Posts: 1,612
Threads: 32
Joined: Jan 2012
Reputation:
0
I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: 
Sagittarius
Mood: None
Anyhow thanks again for the support. Sorry that it took so long time for my responce, I just didn't know how to respond. My problem being, is that I know what essencially is causing my problem, but I'm to afraid, to anxious, to low and have to low selfesteem to do anything about it heh. I'm just a freaking pussy. But I don't want to nag to anyone about it, because it's my problem, my fault, hence why I never talk about it. I am therefor just a coward for not being able to face my demons. But some days just becomes to heavy and I just wish that it all could just end.
Sometimes you need a bit of chaos in your life to be able to shrug off pitiful disdain about something meaningless.
•
Everyone is a coward, Zet - we all have demons we flat refuse to face.
Most of us just hide it well. And for the record you hide it well too. No one would guess you had 'issues'.
If this is seriously downing you, perhaps you need to get a therapist. Through the years I learned how to talk to a therapist about stuff that I never talked to anyone else about. Not every therapist, but I did find a couple/three which I felt safe enough with to talk about 'stuff'.
There is something 'safe' about talking to a trained professional who you do not see socially and are pretty certain they won't talk to everyone you know.
•
well your doing that right thing now by talking about it mate, I could write about depression but I guess you may not want top hear that - life can be very hard and lonely sometimes and it feels like its spiralling down a black hole but it can be better again, you've already started by saying your having problems mate and a big hug for doing that - just keep posting on gs and im sure many people will be happy to try and give encouragement anytime
•
