If people have different opinions on what judges a person's sexuality, how can one know for sure? The reason I don't want to just say I'm bisexual is that I don't want to make some kind of mistake later on. If one day I decide to act on my supposed bisexuality and hook up with a guy, then start getting intimate, I don't want to possibly find out then that I'm actually straight. It would be the most awkward and uncomfortable moment of my life. :/ But then again, it'd also suck if I stuck with girls and realized later in life that I might've been happier with a guy and missed out on a lot of opportunities.
I guess...I just don't like uncertainty.
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TonyAndonuts Wrote:If people have different opinions on what judges a person's sexuality, how can one know for sure? The reason I don't want to just say I'm bisexual is that I don't want to make some kind of mistake later on. If one day I decide to act on my supposed bisexuality and hook up with a guy, then start getting intimate, I don't want to possibly find out then that I'm actually straight. It would be the most awkward and uncomfortable moment of my life. :/ But then again, it'd also suck if I stuck with girls and realized later in life that I might've been happier with a guy and missed out on a lot of opportunities.
I guess...I just don't like uncertainty.
Oh damn...you have a huge problem...labels don't fit, I don't know what to do......you are becoming........HUMAN 
Lol...seriously, labels are for tin can's, who you love is something that you cannot control, so stop trying to pin it down so that you can define yourself...there are things far more important in your life 
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Addressing the term sexuality itself, it frankly sucks. Who you fuck or who fucks you is a significant part of pairing off but not the only thing that matters. At the same time, who you fall in love with doesn't always reflect who you have sex with.
In other words, while we're stuck with the terms "sexuality" and "sexual orientation" people should consider that they are probably inadequate descriptors for a subject that can be very complex.
I've personally been guilty of a bit of biphobia in the past, based on a pretty bad relationship experience. I got left for a woman and it hurt, and it turned me off dating bi guys for a while. I got over it and I'm not exactly proud of the attitude I had for a while, but I guess it was just part of the learning curve for me.
It would be stupid for me to say that bisexuality doesn't exist. I tend to think there's a lot more bisexuals than homosexuals in reality. And considering the fact that I was in a committed straight marriage for years even though I knew that if not for her I'd be with a guy, I can also easily dismiss the notion that bisexuals are always promiscuous.
My preferred term these days is not "sexuality" or "sexual orientation", it's "sexual preference". And I wish there was a better term for the "sexual" portion of it because it's not all about sex. But the "preference" part makes a lot of sense to me. I prefer dating men, and I prefer sex with men. Therefore I tend to think of myself as gay, even though I'm not 100% only attracted to men.
I also would love to eat nothing but cheesecake and drink nothing but wine. However I'm not going to do that. While I am somewhat attracted to women still, I have no intention of having any further romantic or sexual relationships with women. So I'm pretty comfortable with the term "gay" describing myself, but not opposed to the term "bisexual". I also think that words are usually just inadequate and mainly I just don't worry about it like I did when I was younger. The whole "labels are for tin cans" mentality makes sense to me, but I know most people need the labels to feel like they can grasp what I am, or what they are.
There is no one way to be gay, straight, or bisexual either. I find a morose humor in the way some people behave after they come out, and seem to go crazy trying to fit into "gay culture" for a while until they get to be comfortable with who they are and realize that who they pair off with is not the single defining aspect of their personality.
I remember well being confused when I was younger and trying to figure out where I fit into all of this gay/straight/bisexual terminology. It would have been great if someone could have come along and told me "you're gay baby, go be with a man" but that didn't happen for me and it isn't likely going to happen for anyone else either. Besides, how can anyone possibly be able to know that about another person? It's just something that you have to figure out for yourself. Sometimes the labels are helpful, and in those cases fine, go ahead and use them. More often I think they just cause more confusion. You're you, and there's nobody else exactly like you, and there will probably never be a term that describes exactly what kind of person you are in a romantic or sexual preference/orientation way any more than there could be a word that describes what you look like or what you like in food.
This whole thing kind of goes away to a large extent in a world where being gay or bisexual isn't viewed as a bad thing. If it helps, pretend that you're living in that world, even if it's only in your head. Feel free to be with whoever you feel like being with at the time and don't worry about what that makes you.
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Holy I get confused reading these...So many different ways of looking at the same thing. For Tony,
I always phrase it like this:
If your penis becomes hard when you think erotically about men, you're probably gay, if it gets hard when you think about women, you're probably straight, if it gets hard in regards to both of the above, you're bi. THIS IS IN REGARDS TO YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION. Of course, you can be "More gay" or "More straight", as one can have a preference, but generally the in between area in regards to straight or bi can be labelled as bisexuality.
Where is gets a little bit more grey and less black and white is simply this: Some people might be attracted to both genders, but never under any circumstance would they want a relationship with the same gender. Such individuals might identify as straight, which is an identity that should be respected.
Maybe because of this, some people opt to abandon labelling themselves, and express their interests like this: "I will love whoever I fall in love with", which is perfectly okay too. Personally, I highly respect people that identify with that statement.
None of this is any sort of problem, you have a great deal of options in regards to what you do about whatever you learn about yourself....This is a good thing.
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ANYWAY; in regards to OP, biphobia needs to be recognized. My personal experience is simply, my boyfriend is always having to explain to people that just because he likes girls too, doesn;t mean he's going to end up leaving me for one.... The people asking him are usually married, so he always responds by asking what said person would do if she/he developed a crush on someone, to which they respond "Too bad, I'm married" creating a kind of touche situation... which is clever of him.
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Nobody should ever place themselves in a box.
Gay, straight, bisexual, curious, or otherwise..... these labels are just that: LABELS!
To each his or her own, everyone is different!
Sexuality; either "gay", "straight", or "in between" is a cop out to owns own nature.
We are all human!
That's all that counts...
[SIZE="5"][COLOR="Red"]Like Honey Boo Boo said:
[/COLOR][/SIZE]
"Ain't nothin' wrong with bein' a little gay. Everybody's a little gay."
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Biphobia
