Rant/Sad Thread

[Woollyhats]

So I cried for the first time in years last night.... Everyone is probably thinking "Boy problems, I got this yo!", but that's not quite right... or more accurately, they aren't my boy problems because I'd be in some people's faces if they were...

Note that every name used in this is a pseudonym...

One of my best friends, Zach, is in the hospital right now. As a cystic fibrosis patient, he gets sick often, but he's fairly serious right now (he's coughed up over a litre of blood or 1/4 of a gallon this past few days), and no one really knows what's happening or even why at this point. He's getting flown to a more advanced hospital tonight in another city, as treatments here are keeping him stable but aren't fixing anything...

His situation is further complicated in that he has a boyfriend, Michael, who has been sitting with him in his room every waking minute of the day... and he won't be able to go with him. See, while all of his friends, and his brothers and sisters know about his relationship, his parents are willfully ignorant, and would never allow his boyfriend to go with them. It was particularly emotional, because one of his brothers (a pastor) sat beside him, and said he supported them both.

But they've decided that they don't think such a high stress situation is the time to tell his mom...because she is already visibly breaking from the stress of the past week, so his boyfriend doesn't get to go. And I'm just so angry, because Zach's boyfriend puts his all into his relationship, he puts in his everything, he cries, laughs, and breathes for Zach.

He had me and a friend I grew up with, Jess, in tears today, just because he was telling us how he is trying to be strong right now, and as he was saying this we could see him trying not to cry. And her and I are two people that have grown up together and have seen each other emotionally harden over the years, and the fact that we saw each other cry was a sign of how much it affected us, and just made it that much more upsetting.

So, in conclusion, not only is one of my best friends going to a hospital for major procedures, but he's dealing with wanting his boyfriend to be there and deciding whether he wants to come out at this time so his boyfriend can be with him - and if he'll have a home to come home to if he is open at this time... his parents are anything but supportive who cares that their son might be dying... yay.... welcome to planet earth...

And honestly I'm just upset and disgusted because none of it is fair, and because one of my friends is so sick right now, and there's nothing I can do, and which is probably why I'm ranting about this, very uncharacteristically, here. I think this is where I apologize for making you all sad.

...



/End Rant.

[Lilitu]

Oh my god I cried. I can't believe how stressful that situation is.

one feels so powerless and frustrated in that kind of time. I guess the only thing you can do is wait for things to pass.

[dfiant1]

Sounds very unfair and I am so sorry that Zach and Michael are in that situation, but at the same time it also present an opportunity for you to be the friend that Michael needs and to remain strong for Zach when he returns home.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I am sorry for all of you.

I could say something trite like 'Life isn't fair' - but you already know that.

As for advice... I got nothing.

Will a hug do?

[Waylon777]

I don't know what I can say. But, I think a nice hug is needed.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

This is an example of why being partnered in a same sex relationship, but not out to the immediate family has a significant downside.

Michael has no rights, when Zach needs him the most.

I hope Michael pulls through OK and has the opportunity to reevaluate the need to keep his sexuality hidden from the wider family. I would go further and say, that if his brother is as supportive as you say, then he can help Michael through the process.

Stay strong wooly, for all three of you

ObW
X

[Woollyhats]

Thank you --- hugs are very nice. Also, your responses to this define why I love these forums.

Specifically at OlderAndWiser; I think you're exactly right about what's going to happen when Zach comes back home. I think his family is starting to put their priorities together, which is why he's seeing his siblings and their partners coming together to support him... Maybe seeing that their son might not be around forever will help them, and they will be better off for having gone through all of this.

Anyway, Zach is still doing okay although none of us can visit him for a few weeks now. However, I do feel better that I've had a good night's sleep... It's just naturally hard to watch people that are close to you go through that.... Thanks for being so kind everyone.