Hello, a little about me: I am 20, and I have a little sexual experience (I would have a lot more if I was anxious about it all the time). So this is a little embarrassing but ive had this problem for a little over a year now and its really starting to affect my life. I love sex! LOVE IT! But my anxiety gets the best of me some times and prevents me from experiencing it fully and causes me to be much less confident. I always get worried before sex. I start to over think things. This usually has to do with my butt. There are two main things that I worry about during sex that A) I will poop on the penis or B) that I will just feel like I have to poop the whole time and not enjoy it and just want it to be over as fast as possible. Ive read tons of info online about how to have 'clean' sex down there. They advise to go to the bathroom 1-2 hours before and use an enema. Well my bowels seem to have cursed me because I do this and shower every time before sex. But even taking all of these precautions I usually have been feeling constipated (or just not normal down there) before anal sex which makes me EXTREMELY nervous to engage in anal sex. Can someone explain to me either from personal or other experience when I should be worried about when it can possibly get messy down there? Ive just been so caught up in over thinking things before sex this year that its really starting to show in my sex life. I never feel like my bowel is ready to have anal sex. ANY tips or advice or personal knowledge (good positions, past experiences, maybe times when you felt weird down there and then you did or didnt poop on the penis) that would help put me at ease I would really appreciate. Im just getting to sick of being so anxious to have sex when I am horny and want to all the time! Thanks!
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First, there is no such thing as "clean" anal sex. There is such a thing as "cleaner" anal sex. A bit of mess is expected and natural, and quite frankly, if the guy who's topping you can't accept that then don't bother being with him.
What I'd recommend (or not recommend):
Don't take laxatives - good lord, no - once you've pop'd you can't stop .
Ideally empty your bowels before sex (needless to say) but if you can't, invest in an anal douche and douche 3 times. The first will empty your rectum. The next two will just cleanse it. Don't force it - let it flush out of its own accord.
Lube up, go slow - and enjoy yourself!
The most important thing is to relax. Don't worry about having a bit of mess - it is after all your anus - what do you expect to come out of there(?), gold?
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I would recommend putting down a towel and just not worry so much about mess since it comes with the territory.
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Having anything stuck up the bum is going to make you feel like you need to have a BM.
Douching and Enema are actually two different processes. In an Enema you hold on to the water/fluid for a long time, to have the water reach as far up into the colon as possible to loosen stool. Douching you only hold it for a few moments, the idea is you want to clean out the first 6-10 inches of the colon and the rectum. If your man has more than 10 inches then you will of course hold a bit longer.
In truth if you have a regular firm (not hard) stool, chances are pretty high that anything coming down the pipe will be packed back up the pipe. This is why if two men having sex died at the same time the bottom would reach heaven first why? Because his shit is already packed....:tongue:
If you poo less than once a day, then you may want to check your diet and see what you can do to get regular. It is supposed to take something like 33 hours for food to be completely worked through the system to become stool. So in theory, at least once a day you should be having a bowel movement and what you ate 33 hours ago affects what comes out.
1-3 times a day is 'normal' and healthy - again it depends on how often you eat.
You can train yourself to have to go at the right hour - So if you predominately have sex in the evening well slowly retain the body to pooing in the evening from the morning by holding off 30 minutes to an hour each day, and moving the clock forward until the 'right time'.
All of this isn't going to provide total protection - shit happens...
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I don't like enemas, I find them extremely uncomfortable, not effective and your mother can find them in the closet. lol
I just use a regular shower hose (not sure if this is the right word for it in english), remove the plastic tip, stick the hose up my ass and then sit on the toilet and have a shit. If necessary, I repeat the procedure two or three times.
Don't eat before sex, that's important too.
Of course, there are no 100% sure methods and yes, anxiety can affect your intestines.
And this is another good reason to use a condom, your partner won't get dirty.
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Not eating before sex seems to work well for me. Due to my life, I get the house to myself on Thursday and Friday mornings, which is basically my opportunity to have the BF over. So my routine lately is to get up and see the kid off to school, have two cups of coffee, and then let the coffee do it's work. Basically I tend to poo within 20 minutes or so of my morning coffee. Then a shower, and we're all set for the gentleman caller to arrive in the mid-morning hours. We've had no overt messes and some pretty great sex.
Basically planning is helpful. I would say that anal sex is better as a planned activity than as a spur of the moment one. I also much prefer doing it in my environment where I'm just nice and relaxed.
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Ativan. Xanax.
They work wonders.
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